For Thanksgiving I'm picking up dad and then heading southwest to meet my cousin and her friend for an early dinner at a Ruth's Chris Steakhouse (expensive, especially if you like to drink...I think it's $50 a person, not including alcohol or tip). But we're a small group and no one wants to cook. I'll be home by dark at around the time most families are just starting to sit down at the table. I'm looking forward to it though I dislike the drive.

I love turkey with gravy, stuffing, cranberry sauce and each  year ask myself why I only eat this once a year. I guess because it takes a lot to cook it all, and my desire to cook has really slumped in the past year. I still cook all my meals from scratch and eat out just once a week with dad.

Since I last wrote here, I organized another litter cleanup (the 4th in my hometown), different location. I had 4 new volunteers show up, including a Legislative Council member. The guy I've been in touch with from DPW came at the end with his pickup and on his own time (it was Sunday) helped us load the trash and he took it away to weigh and dump it; later he told me we'd picked up 420 pounds, so I was pumped. That included 3 old tires and an unopened package of coffee.

Not only that, but 2 of the women who volunteered were so enthusiastic and offering to do more, I invited them both to join me as organizers. There's a ton of stuff to do, from posting on social media before and after each cleanup to sending a press release to local paper, coordinating with DPW and police, etc. One woman has happily accepted so far; I plan to call our first meeting at my home sometime in January. She has a PR background and is already talking about a blog, website and our own FB page. I'm not so sure about all that right away becus it means we're "committed," and maybe at some point I'll want to move on to something else, or we don't get enough volunteers to make it worthwhile or maybe people's enthusiasm will wane over time (town has been enormously supportive thus far, but actually showing up to help is a different thing). I think I would like to give it a year and see if we can maintain a steady rate of volunteers.

We need to map out more (safe) roads to hit, ideally creating a calendar so we know what's coming up, think about how often we want to organize cleanups (no one wants to do this in heat of summer) and there are a dozen other logistical items to hash out. The other woman agreed with me we will need to start getting people to sign liability waivers when they arrive. Basically to give us some protection if someone gets hurt. I hate to introduce "paperwork" into the whole process, but I think it's very important. I can copy the waiver my statewide group was using. 

I am bracing for a big hike in my electric rate come Jan 1. My state allows consumers to shop for their own supplier. I had locked in a very low rate of 8.79 per kilowatt hour in 2024, but my 2-year contract expires end of December. I've already checked the state website showing all suppliers and their rates, and the lowest now is 11.89 per k/hour. So it's really going to be a big spike unless prices fall in the next 30 days, which seems unlikely.

Oh, and if you're wondering what happened with the man I was dating....he actually ghosted me. We went out twice and had a nice time both times. Then he asked me to go to a classical guitar concert. I turned him down on that one due to the timing but later followed up with him to see how it was. Then I never heard from him again. So I'm not sure what happened. He had a troubled family life growing up and I remember him telling me that he avoids conflict at all costs. His words. We had no conflict, but if he decided privately that I wasn't the right person for him, he may have wanted to avoid having to tell me in case I didn't take it well. So in retrospect, it's for the best. I don't think it would work to be in a relationship with someone like that.  It would just be impossible. 

Just heard from McAfee that savings advice was hacked and that my persona info is on the dark web.

If anyone knows how to change their password here, please let us know. It's ridiculous that i have to send a note asking how to do that to savings advice.

Thanks.

A fond look back to August warmth....monarch on cosmos.

Following my resignation from my statewide volunteer group, the ad hoc chairman also resigned, which basically put the existence of the group in jeopardy. I had not expected her to follow suit. My intent was not to leave them in the lurch, but it had become clear to me many months ago this group was dead in the water and no one seemed to care.

If I had to define what the problem was, I would have to say it was a lack of strong leadership, someone who was willing to put fellow board members on the spot, ask them to step up to the plate and help out. Cus it is a lot of work.  The woman who chaired our group when I joined a few years ago was a sweet, wonderful human being, but she did not know how to delegate to others; instead, she just wund up doing everything herself, and others let that happen becus it was easy for them to do that. Eventually, she burned out and resigned.

The other person on the board who volunteered to temporarily act as chairman until a permanent chair could be found did the best she could, I think, but there's still way too much for just one or two people to manage. So she just dropped off and didn't bother to resign (until I did), nor did she communicate with anyone when she failed to call meetings for the past 4 or 5 months now! Eventually, I just became disillusioned and disgusted with the apathy of some of the people on the board, whose involvement, even to just attend a remote meeting, was spotty at best; we often lacked a quorum.

When I voiced my concerns to another board member (our treasurer, who I recruited about a year ago), he said he would pick up chairing the meetings for as long as necessary. He did chair exactly 1 meeting, but then...nothing. I don't fault him becus he works f/t at a pretty senior level job and never sought to be chair.

At this point, I felt it was better to formally step down, cut ties and move on to more productive volunteer activities. However, there are a few housekeeping activities I need to perform for them, like posting all prior recorded meeting minutes on shared Google docs. I may need to attend one more final meeting, just to record minutes.

In the meantime, I organized a "flash" litter cleanup in my own hometown. I had 2 people (and a rescue dog) show up, and that was enough for this one road. I posted pix on the town's FB group and so far have 161 emoji positive expressions of support and 28 comments from people who say they want to participate next time. The owner of the local hardware store has also made an offer to donate trash bags, which I will take him up on once I use up my own stash of bags I can no longer use at our town landfill due to a new system that accepts only town-issued blue bags.

So there has been huge support for what I'm doing, as there was the two prior times I organized cleanups in my hometown of the interstate rest area. Far fewer people actually show up to help! That's okay. It's a process, and it takes time for any new group/pursuit to take hold. I have mixed feelings about turning this into anything more than a loose coalition of residents who do periodic litter cleanups. I am still concerned about the risks involved, and my own liability, of having groups of people walking along a road distracted by picking up litter.  So the road we did this weekend led to just one place: the town transfer station (ironic, huh?) and I chose to do it on a Sunday, when the transfer station is closed, so there was no traffic on the road that could affect volunteers' safety.

But there's only so many other places like that. Town parks are really pretty clean around here; a lot of trash seems to come from motorists who toss things out the window as they're driving or sit partying/drinking/eating/having sex in a parked car.  Any woodsy areas fronting roads attract lots of trash. I do have 2 roads in mind for next time that I believe are low-traffic, but I need to do a drive-by and see if there's enough trash to warrant a cleanup and assess traffic. Otherwise, I don't think it should be our responsibility to pick up trash on private property, whether residential or commercial.

I'm so thrilled. I did something I'm really not good at....

A few weeks ago, I reluctantly upgraded from Windows 10 to Windows 11. Windows 11 is a free software upgrade that's been available for over a year now, but I stalled and stalled because I was perfectly happy with how my computer was operating and my experience has been that when they want you to "upgrade," it can usually end up costing you. And that was right in this case.

I finally upgraded becus they started sending messages that they would no longer support Windows 10 with security updates. So as you may recall from earlier posts, I had a problem with all of my photos being "lost" and not showing up, until I discovered them all in my Recycle Bin. While I was mulling over resaving them to the hard drive or cloud, one by one, they magically reappeared in my photo folders. For which I was eternally grateful.

But a week ago, I noticed a new popup message in Windows Security teling me it could not turn on Memory Integrity (core isolation) which is aparently very important, because I had 2 IBM Rapport drivers that were incompatible and might need to be updated.

All this computer talk is like a foreign language to me, but I guess I've picked up little bits of info during the past 40 years of work when various things like arose and our tech person would deal with it. I always liked to watch and ask questions.

Anyway, I searched for a way to update the 2 drivers, got on the IBM Trusteer website and read about the updates but couldn't find where to download the updates! It was driving me mad. I finally caved and had decided to bring the computer in to a local computer repair shop where they wanted over $100 and up to 3 days' time just to diagnose the problem.

This morning I decided to give it one more shot to see if I could figure things out myself. I found it pretty quickly this time (I think the key word I omitted in my prior searches was teh word "download." Bingo. The warning message is gone and I do indeed see that my core isolation is now protected.

I'm amazed. And thrilled. As much by avoiding the need to do without my desktop for 3 days as having the spend the $$.

I had been keeping my computer shut off for the past few days, until I could bring it to the repair place, out of an abundance of caution since your computer cannot be hacked if it's not connected to the Internet. Believe me that was hard!

Well, it's the end of an era. Or at least, something I enjoyed for the past 2 years, serving on the board of a statewide nonprofit dedicated to organizing litter cleanups. I submitted my resignation, effective immediately, yesterday. Due totally to a complete lack of activity and the willingness of no one (myself included) to serve as chair. We only had 5 board members. It was a lot of work and not enough people to pitch in and help. The bulk of the work usually fell on the chairman.

I always felt that having a statewide focus was biting off way more than we could chew, but that's how others (no longer with the group) wanted it to be. I just feel my time will be spent more productively by joining various other cleanups by other groups and also organizing cleanups in my hometown. I've done 2 "flash" cleanups here in town but got just a few people. I'm having another one today; if I continue to get next to no participation (despite getting tremendous support on the town FB page), I may just drop it. I do worry about liability issues, and let's face it: picking up litter on the side of the road is not a low-risk activity. 

Now in the statewide group I just resigned from, they had written waivers at a sign-in table we had every volunteer sign, but that is not 100% guaranteed to stand up in court should we ever have gotten sued by someone hit by a car or something.

That's why today's cleanup is on a road that leads to one place, our town transfer station, and since it's closed on Sundays, there should be no traffic there. The last 2 cleanups I did were at an Interstate rest stop/park-and-ride that always seems to attract heavy litter.

So I designed a cute logo and name for the litter group and we'll see what happens. Worst case, I'll clean up litter myself for 1.5 hours in somewhat chilly weather.

Curious visitor...

In other news, the HVAC guys returned with a replacement firebox for my oil furnace and this time, it worked like a dream. He even said it was probably the easiest firebox replacement he's ever done. On top of that, they billed me in the middle (not the top) of the price range estimate he'd given me. I was afraid they'd bill even MORE for having to come twice to attempt the replacement install, even though it wasn't my fault that the supplier gave them a part that didn't fit.

Today's photo....hope you're not getting tired of my food photos! This was olive oil cake with ice cream at a local restaurant.

Today I did mostly nothing except for a few hours outside removing dead leaves that collect at the top of my driveway. I did also replace the filter on the Aprilaire humidifier that's attached to my furnace. A chore I dislike because it's never easy to take the thing apart that holds the filter and fit it back into the unit. I actually use an old set of handwritten instructions from probably 10 years ago that a friend of mine wrote for me after helping me perform this particular task. Anyway, that's done for another 6 months.

I did some work on our website for my volunteer group.

I think tomorow after the furnace firebox gets straightened out, I'll treat myself to lunch either at the Vietnamese place I like so much, or a pizza shop that everyone raves about. Guess I'll decide which when the time comes. I also hope to do another chore I've procrastinated about: rechecking the copper mesh mouseproofing I did last year along bottom row of siding, as I've been getting mice in my one indoor trap. They don't go to waste, though. I use a plastic, reuseable trap and toss the dead mouse outside in a certain area periodically checked by possums and I'm not sure what else. I'm sure the unexpected protein is much appreciated.

Today was the chilliest day of the fall season to date. In fact, it was the first day I felt it necessary to wear my winter coat.

Since it was too cold to do fall yard work, I turned it into a day of errands: Target (dad needed underwear), Wal-Mart (I wanted to spend a $5 gift card, so I bought some green tea), Whole Foods (they have the best produce, including a new favorite for me, organic Cosmic Crisp), BJs (for gas and a few food items) and then dropping off some donations at Good Will.

When I got home, I found a BJs coupon circular in my mailbox and a $3 coupon for the Nature Made vitamins I'd just purchased there. Since the coupon is good thru December, I will return the vitamins, then repurchase it so I can use the coupon. 

A local gallery is calling for artists for its "Small and Large" holiday exhibit, which I like to enter since it's around holiday gift-giving time. You can either submit 3 small pieces of art under 13" or one large piece over 31" for a $20 entry fee. I picked out 3 of my mother's pieces but realized the frame on one was a little dinged up, so I'm in the process of painting it now. I got a free paint sample in a pretty shade of blue from a paint shop last year and found that it goes perfectly with this piece of art. I need to drop the 3 pieces off this weekend.

The replacement part for my furnace should be shipped to my HVAC people this week, so hopefully can schedule a return visit soon after. Dad was more or less happy with the deep clean of his living space last Friday ($340) and agreed to have them come on a monthly basis ($140) moving forward. However, he wants to stay there while they clean so he can tell them what to do, which I know they won't like, but.... 

I had decided I wasn't going to share anything about the funeral I attended unless he asked about it, which he did once we sat down to lunch the other day. So I shared a little. Then he wanted to know who was there, what was on the menu, etc.

I brought him to the dentist that day (every 3 mths) and I was so relieved they didn't announce another cracked tooth, cavity or broken crown. Next week he'll be getting his covid shot and going to PT. The week after that we'll be driving an hour or so south to meet my cousin for Thanksgiving dinner at an insanely expensive Ruth's Chris Steakhouse. It's just a convenient location for her and I suppose for me, so.... we go early so we can all get home before dark. I think this may be our 4th year going there? Neither of us wants to cook the whole traditional Thanksgiving meal for just 3 people (her partner won't be around as he's a longtime volunteer helping to get the balloons ready for the Macy's Day parade in NY, and so it just makes it easier to eat out although I do sorely miss all the leftovers..

My knotweed group has decided to allow a 5th person to join our small group. We haven't been activley seeking to expand the group, cus we all work very well together and sometimes when you add new people it changes the dynamic, but she had recently met one of our members who was enthusiastic about the idea. We're involved in so many projects, we could definitely use an extra set of hands.

I'm not sure what I'm doing tomorrow. It will be in the low 50s so theoretically I could do yardwork. I'd like to remove a large quantity of leaves at the top of my driveway, where they tend to collect becus it's surrounded on 2 sides by stone walls and the 3rd side is my garage wall. 

There are also 2 smallish trees I'd like to take down (maybe) with my mini chainsaw so I can move one of the many oak seedlings that sprouted elsewhere to that spot. Getting rid of nonnative or invasive plants and replacing them with native plants has been an ongoing project for me. I've gotten more aggressive lately as i realized that much of my problem stems from the fact that the invasive plants keep spreading into my yard from my neighbors. In fact, I've been battlings invasives on the periphery of the property for 30 years now, and because I always avoided using herbicides, preferring to pull, dig or even just "cut back" invasives, of course they did indeed grow back and nothing's really changed in 30 years! . Last year is when I really started using chemicals in a very targeted and controlled manner. I never do foliage sprays. I'll cut an invasive shrub at the base, as close to the ground as possible, then paint herbicide on the stump with a small paint brush. Sometimes I'll even cover the herbicide-treated stump with a small white mesh baggy so an insect can't land on it. I bought a hundred of these little bags on Amazon; they're used to hold wedding favors. Of course this time of year I don't have to worry about insects since we've had a few hard frosts. But there are still animals roaming around.

But getting back to my neighbors....one of them is a widow well into her 90s. Even when her husband was alive, they never did anything to the brushy/woodsy area on their side of the stone wall, which is the property line, so it is filled with Asiatic bittersweet, Japanese privet, multiflora rose and a bunch of other stuff.. So I've been venturing onto her side of the wall to kill invasive vines and shrubs becus damn, I can't be doing this forever. I don't think she'd care, but I try to make it not noticeable. And I just uncovered a very spindly oak sapling underneath all the vines. Someday, I may move from here and downsize, but I still would want to leave this place in as good shape as possible, and that includes ecologically, too.

I allowed myself 2 hours to get down to Hackensack, knowing that taking the Tappan Zee would make it a little longer, but also allowing lots of extra time in case there was an accident or traffic backup. But GPS had other plans for me. You know how when you punch in a destination, they give you 3 options and show you the different routes on a map?  I wanted that Tappan Zee option to avoid the GW Bridge. Problem with the GPS is that when you click on one of the routes, it's hard to know if that's the route you want, and it seemed like every route had me driving into the city, so that's where I ended up. So amazingly, I arrived in Hackensack over an hour early!

I lived the first 17 years of my life in New Jersey, but the only things I recognized today were the old Bendix Diner and Teterboro Airport. Everything has changed so much and I guess I felt like an alien there.

The Tappan Zee spans the Hudson River, connecting New Jersey and New York State.   

I stopped at a nearby Wawa to use the rest room, then headed to the cemetery. The service itself was very brief, like maybe 10 minutes. Then we headed to a local restaurant where "Uncle Joe" treated us to a nice meal. It was good to see some of my extended family again, fragmented as we are, and it made me sad that it took someone's death to bring us all together. It was just 14 of us; my brother's best friend came to the funeral but not the meal. My late brother's wife is Chinese; her parents speak only Chinese, limiting communication.

Heading home I was determined to avoid the GW, and this time I was able to get on the Palisades Parkway North, which is a scenic drive with great views of the city. From there I headed east and crossed the Tappan Zee, then north to dear New England.

It was an exhausting day. I didn't sleep well last night, then 4 hours of driving in unfamiliar, high trafficked environs and the stress of the funeral. When I got home, the first think I did was change into my comfy clothes: a ratty pair of sweat pants and an old sweat shirt, and climbed into bed with the beginnings of a headache.

There's a problem with the firebox replacement on my ThermoPride oil furnace. HVAC is here now. Seems the part they got is a different size/shape than the one they're replacing. They have ordered again, but will have to wait a few days now. I'm worried about how much this will inflate the $900-$1200 estimate I'd been given. The technician has worked out a temporary solution so I can continue to use the furnace in the meantime, but he's still tinkering with it so I've been stuck here all morning.

I received word yesteray that my half-brother has passed. Very sad. I had first learned of his illness 11 months ago when I pulled into the parking lot at my gym and he called me. As it turned out, I received a text from his wife yesterday in the same parking lot, informing me of his death. I am waiting for details on the funeral. I am hoping it's in New Jersey and not Chinatown, NYC. (My brother's wife is Chinese-American.) My father has told me he doesn't want to go.

In addition to the problem with the furnace repair, I also already scheduled a deep clean of my father's place for this Saturday. They will bill me the full amount if I cancel/reschedule any later than tomorrow morning. I think I would just let them clean even if we aren't around. Just to get it done. They already have my credit card info.

And dad has a dentist appointment on Monday.

I was happy at a recent gym workout because I was able to raise the weight pulled, pushed, pressed or lifted by 5 lbs on every machine. I say this because I feel I'm already lifting near the maximum possible, but then I go and surprise myself. I noticed today when I went to the gym that they are putting solar panels on the roof. 

This week I reviewed loans from Pakistan, Albania, Uganda, Ghana, Liberia and Kenya.

I had to cut loose one of the men i got together with. I don't think we had much of anything in common, and he's Republican, which would be bound to create conflict.

I got together a 2nd time with the other one, the anesthesiologist nurse, going to a great takeout type Vietnamese restaurant I'd never been to (tofu curry, above), but I'm not sure about him either, I'm afraid. He is very liberal (he drives a Tesla with a F*** Trump sticker to ward off possible vandalism) and we definitely share some common interests, but he seems very, I don't know, repressed/depressed. Not light-hearted. He had a very tough upbringing. At this point in my life, I just want to have fun and be with someone a little more outgoing.  I'm afraid that J. is not that person.  Plus he plans to continue working for at least a few more years, so that would limit my fun stuff agenda. So I don't know. 

The company that provides my Internet just raised my monthly fee from $50 to $60, which feels like a lot! It was not so long ago, I guess a few years now, when they raised it from $40 to $50. Sigh. They said it was just an across-the-board rate hike, which to me sounds like saying we raised it because we could.

I do fine with just my Netflix subscription, free movies with my public library's Kanopy account and over-the-air antenna for TV, and a family member pays my cell phone bill. Nice, I know. So all I need is the Internet. I see some providers give you a year's worth of Internet for just $30, but then they jack it up to $70, so that wouldn't really entice me. I need to research it more although truth be told, I guess I could also skip the stress I cause myself and just accept it, knowing I can pay it. I used to always get very stressed when this particular provider raised their rates becus you basically feel powerless, and there aren't many options in my area. Plus, it's always an unpleasant surprise; the rep said they mentioned it in the prior month's bill, but since I'm on auto pay, I have no reason to be looking at the bill; I just look at the total due in the email they send, and that's it.

Wednesday night, try to take a look outside after dark. There's supposed to be a very bright and large moon. I will be trying to take photos.