So since last Monday was a holiday, the post office didn't deliver the certified mail from deadbeat client until yesterday. I was at work, so there was a note in my door that I'd have to pick it up at PO.

I did that this morning, and found he'd sent me a check, not a money order. So he may try to stop payment on it once he found out/finds out i complained to his wife's sales manager about her nonpayment of debt. Or not. I really don't know this guy. I deposited it immediately this am after getting it but i guess will have to wait a few more days to see if the check clears. If it doesn't, then my bank will probably charge me $25 or so for the stop-payment order.

I had complained to the sales manager last Friday after getting a nasty note from them saying they were suing me for $1,000 for violating the fair debt collection act.

Not sure where that would get him if he stopped payment, since his bank would also charge him to do that, plus I'd still want my money. Surely it would be easier to just pay me the $50???

After all the drama, aggravation and threats of lawsuit over such a small debt, a part of me feels it would be very satisfying to haul this guy's ass into small claims court, just to teach him a lesson.

I just transferred $150 in rewards from Discover card to my checking account after charging $1,000 in 2 months. Gotta love these little deals. I've already started on my next reward with Citi; they actually sent me a little reminder that i could earn their "signing bonus" by charging just $500 in 3 months. Thanks, Citi!

In other news, I spent a little time each day during the past 2 days doing....drum roll....bathroom wallpapering!!

you know, the project that's been half-done for the last three years????

That bathroom's been mostly unusable all this time because I couldn't bring myself to finish that job. But I forced myself to do it with the reasoning that spring is just around the corner, and once it warms up, I'll be out and about in my garden and the bathroom will once again be forgotten for yet another season.

So....I made myself work on it, probably 2 hours each day. By not pressuring myself to finish it, I've been able to make progress so I'm now three-quarters of the way done. And since I work tomorrow through Friday, my work requirement today will be hanging just one long piece on the back wall. (More if I can, but 1 piece minimum.) I am in danger of running out of wallpaper, which could be a problem since they often seem to discontinue patterns and I bought this several years ago. This is the 2nd roll, but you go through so much paper becus you're supposed to match/line up the pattern on each new sheet you hang, even though it's a very abstract marbled look that you'd think wouldn't require matching. But I've done it both ways on the walls and you can tell the difference if you study it.

It's FAR from perfect....many imperfections, but at least I'm making progress. There are actually places where I had to cut little "patches" because I'd wallpapered on 2 sides, to meet in the middle, and of course it didn't meet in the middle. Live and learn.

I'll show you pix when it's finally done. Not sure what i'll do if I run out and they don't carry this pattern anymore. I'm doing the most important parts of the room and leaving the part below and to the side of the toilet for last. Not that it would be any less noticeable....

Went to Trader Joe's with my neighbor yesterday. We also hit Target for a Lean Cuisine sale. Today, after wallpapering, i want to get some DVDs at the library, get milk ($1.88 a gallon) at Caraluzzi's and some black cohosh at CVS.

I just posted a little while ago, mentioning that my friend and neighbor was due back here in CT from Florida, where she had been visiting her grand-daughter for a week.

I called her after posting that blog to see if she was home yet. She had just gotten in about an hour earlier and I asked her if she'd had a good time.

Not really.

She got there (I forget what town it was now, but on the west side) last Saturday, the same day they were expecting her son-in-law's parents to arrive. My neighbor was going to be sharing a rental house with them for the week she was visiting, something she'd done before a year or so ago.

The son-in-law's parents were from Queens, NY but were down in FL visiting a variety of friends and driving from Miami to see their son and daughter-in-law.

They never made it. The mother was driving and apparently had a heart attack and struck a tree head-on. This was in the Bradenton area, wherever that is. The mother died at the scene and the father is in critical condition. They don't think he'll make it. They were in their late 60s, early 70s. The car was filled with gifts for their grand kids.

So what my neighbor had been looking forward to as a nice vacation, warm weather and children's birthday parties ended up being a very somber, depressing time. Most of the time her granddaughter and son-in-law were at the hospital and she just hung around and looked after her great-grand kids.

The mother had been on heart medication and checked out fine just 10 days earlier. They think it might have been a massive, undetected blood clot.

Gosh. How awful.

As I think will become my custom, I wrapped up my "work week" this afternoon. Wednesdays and Thursdays are full days at the office and Friday is at home, but there seem to have been a variety of other things happening on my Fridays which prevents me from putting in a full day of work. So I wrap up with a few extra hours on Saturday. (But then I have Monday and Tuesday "off" if I have no freelance work.)

I'm happy to report a small Craig's List sale of $20, and I decided to meet my buyer where I do my grocery shopping, to make it easier for him. He bought my indoor bicycle stand. It basically converts a regular outdoor bike into an indoor stationery bike. It goes for about $80 online, but I'm happy with the sale because I myself bought it used, for about the same price, two summers ago at a church silent auction.

I was so hepped up about getting one of them that when i saw it in the silent auction, I signed up and then stalked the table to make sure I could counter-bid if someone signed up for it. No one did.

But I quickly grew tired of the thing for two reasons: the main problem is that there's no resistance when you pedal. So you'd probably have to pedal for half hour just to tire yourself out. I suppose this might work ok for someone who's totally out of shape and couldn't handle an incline anyway, but I found it virtually pointless to use it. The other thing was, it's fairly noisy, even with padding under the stand.

I feel a little bad about selling it to the buyer without pointing out its shortcomings. Of course, no one pointed them out to me.

So i brought home my groceries and when i was unpacking them, i forgot to put away (in the fridge) a pound of cottage cheese and a pound of Kozy Shack pudding. Umm, they sat on the kitchen table for about 4 hours. I shall eat them anyway.

So one thing i am learning from my new job is that there's an incredible array of high quality, charming children's magazines out there. That's what I'm doing, updating our listings for our 2013 edition of our publication, which summarizes everything a freelance writer of children's stories would need to know if they wanted to browse and see which magazines they might like to write for.

I don't know if all of these were around when I was growing up, but I really feel I missed out. There was one I remember that is still around, called Highlights. But there are so many more that are beautifully illustrated with charming stories for all age ranges.

I also never knew how many Christian/religious magazines for children there are out there. Halleluiah! There are quite a few in the heartland.

After all the brou-ha-ha with my non-paying client, I decided to take down that post temporarily, until I see payment. No need to possibly muddy up the waters further if he, for whatever reason, might google the exact verbiage of his nasty notes to me, he would find them here on my blog and then know a whole lot more about me than I prefer.

So I'm sort of sitting on pins and needles this weekend becus what happens next depends a lot on how soon i get that check and can cash it (yes, I will run to the bank with it), and how soon wifey decides to drop in the office.

I'm guessing that when her manager talks to her about our conversation, she'll be one pissed off lady and I anticipate their trying to stop payment on the check (assuming they mailed it today as promised). Becus once they know I already spoke to her sales manager, they may figure the damage is done and there's no longer any need to pay me, becus her boss already knows all about it. So I'll be wanting to deposit it ASAP.

I have spoken to 2 male friends about the whole thing and both said they'd have no grounds for a lawsuit and that they're sleazeballs trying to pervert the rule of law. All to avoid a $50 bill.

In other news...

It's a rather dreary, cloudy day here, on the chilly side. Not conducive to doing much outdoors.

I bought some tilapia at $3.99 a pound and will have it tonight with a mushroom risotto and steamed broccoli. Tomorrow's dinner is already dethawing in the fridge. Frozen tomatoes from my garden and frozen black beans for a pumpkin black bean soup.

My neighbor returns from Florida today. Maybe i'll give her a call and see if she's back yet. She told me that the cost of the limo (not a real limo) to pick her up at her house and bring her to the NY airport actually cost more than her airplane tickets, which i think were about $300. I know she hated spending the money, but it was her choice to go. She asked me again if I'd be interested in driving her and that she'd pay me, but driving to a NY airport is NOT my cup of tea. Frequent traffic backups, aggressive drivers and I'd probably get lost and then be on my own on the way back. Nooo, I don't think so. I've done her lots of favors in the past and I think she assumed I would do so, but thank God I got my mojo going and said no. It would be about an hour and a half one way.

This first paycheck was a bit bigger than the rest of 'em will be, only because of the day I happened to start work and where that day was in their bi-weekly pay cycle.

So it was net $449 for 4 days of work. Yippee.

Tomorrow's my work at home day. Today at the office I worked straight through without breaking for lunch, so i got in a solid 8 hours of work.

This past week has been pretty intense. Everything is just new, every process, every procedure, and the brain can only take in and absorb so much at one time. Quark is still new to me, and so is FileMaker. Remembering what it's like to work on a Mac... and since having two computers with monitors side by side is conducive to doing this job, I've using one mac and one PC.

The PC is a pain to use. The keyboard is so old some of the letters have worn off the keyboard. The mouse is not working properly and causes things to bounce up and down when you try to use the center scroll bar. I'm not sure they want to buy a new one. The monitor is so small that you can't bump up the font size, which i like to do cus i can't read mousetype anymore, or else you lose the edges of the website andhave teo keep scrolling back and forth to read it.

The internet/DSL is super slow. Everything at this company is old, and acts like it.

Then there's learning a thousand new procedures, having to keep 2 time sheets (1 for paycheck purposes and 1 to track how much time you're spending on different things, research vs. database, etc.), plus remembering to punch in and out of the digital time clock each day/lunch.

The place is so dingy; I still haven't gotten used to it. There's a tacky, dusty old fake pot of flowers on my desk, but I don't want to start dragging a lot of stuff in there, like a nice houseplant, cus I really hope i don't stay there that long and want to be able to leave quickly and easily when I find a real job.

Half the wallpaper is torn off the bathroom walls, as if someone had started to re-wallpaper but then thought better of it. The floors are not level and the carpet is saggy and wrinkled in places.

The editor seems like a very uptight, edgy person. You can hear it immediately in her voice and the way she speaks, in clipped, terse tones talking 100 miles per hour all the time. That's how it was when I first walked in the door this morning, she and another person. It kind of stresses me out. Luckily, we both like classical music, so we had both tuned in our computers to the local classical music station to soothe the soul. There are just 5 of us in editorial.

But I think the worst is over in terms of the learning curve.

Had a couple of quickie emails to edit for the IT guy when I came home. the United Health Care job evaporated into thin air. Got an email from the recruiter saying the company had decided to put it on hold for now. So I basically have no active leads going on right now, which is so discouraging. The jobs come and they go.

I'm sure I must be becoming awfully boring, like a one-trick pony, cus all i can talk about is work and job prospects. Sorry, folks.

http://www.smartmoney.com/spend/family-money/should-you-boycott-valentines-day-1329174458509/

It's worth a thought.

Here's the yummy soup I made today, cauliflower and cheddar soup.



It's really easy, and super yum.

Cook a whole cauliflower head, broken up into flowerets, or 2 16 oz. frozen packages of cauliflower, in 1 cup water til soft. Reserve 1 cup of the cooked flowerets and put the remaining cauliflower with its liquid in the blender to puree. Set aside.

Saute a chopped up onion in one-quarter cup of butter til soft, then gradually add a half-cup of flour and stir. Then add 1 cup of chicken broth, 2 cups of 2% milk, the pureed cauliflower, the cauliflower florettes and 2 cups of shredded cheddar cheese with 1/4 teaspoon of nutmeg.

Heat but do no boil. Garnish with green onion.

Today, after mulling it over all weekend, I decided not to pursue 2 jobs I had interviews set up for Monday and Tuesday.

You may think I'm being awfully fussy for someone who's been out of work so long. But I ended up bowing out of both jobs for 2 very different sets of reasons, which I think are valid.

1. The crossword puzzle editing job.
When I applied, I thought the lowest this job could pay would be in the $40K range, but I was wrong on that. When I learned the pay was just $29K, it didn't sound like it would be enough to even cover my expenses. But I like to keep my options for as long as possible, til I'm ready to make a decision, so I didn't reveal any hesitation to the editor when i spoke to her on the phone last Friday.

My net monthly pay after taxes would be $1928 (based on $29K a year gross)

My MINIMUM monthly expenses are $2400.

That's a monthly short-fall of nearly $500. And this is a full-time job!

Add in likely monthly savings of $250 a month for cheaper health insurance with them, but deduct $143 a month for gas, and I would net just $2035, still short of my minimum monthly expenses.

I would have little time or energy to do freelance to make up for the shortfall.

Next spring when my mortgage is paid off, it will be different. My monthly minimum expenses would fall to $1800. So, ok, I'd have an extra $235 a month in my pocket. Just not enough.

When I figure my minimum monthly expenses, I DON'T include things like: car repairs, retirement/IRA savings, clothing, home maintenance, Netflix or occasional lunch out. Nothing like that. I'm getting tired of living like this. What's the point of a long commute and full-time work if it doesn't even alleviate some of these budget shortfalls?

I just don't want to get back into that kind of daily grind/commute if I'm getting so little back for it. Quality of life is a really big deal to me. If I'm earning so little, it should at least be a local job to compensate for that.

The only reason the editor called me for this job is becus a very good friend of mine put in a call to the wife of a very good friend of his, and the wife happens to be #2 in the company. While the editor I spoke to on the phone seemed super nice, she did question my wanting to drive all that distance, and at that time i just tried to allay her concerns.

2. The senior writer job at large IT research firm.
This job would be over an hour drive, so in this sense, the long commute would be a similar issue, though more so. But there are other issues: it appears a regular part of this job would be traveling to conferences and interviewing analysts attending them so I could write up white papers which are later sold to their clients. I don't much care for business travel, would have issues getting someone to take care of the cats and it's just not something I enjoy. The other thing is, while I apparently met all their requirements (like being someone who worked at a large firm and agency before in financial services or some other heavily regulated field), I don't have a lick of background (or interest) in IT stuff, and that's what this company is all about. So I'm passing on this one too, although the money for this perm job would be quite good.

So what's left? I'm still very much interested in the United Health Care contract job and will call the recruiter for that one to see if he's gotten feedback from the company on my resume yet.

What really miffed me is this guy insisted on knowing how much money I wanted (on an hourly basis). I tried to sidestep that and just bluntly said if he could tell me their range, it would probably expedite things. He ignored that. So I ended up telling him $30s, meaning somewhere between $30 an hour and $39 an hour.

I guess that was really much lower than I needed to go, becus I saw that the company has also retained not one, but TWO other headhunters to find someone for the job, and one of these other headhunter agencies posted the job as paying $48 to $53 an hour!!

So, I decided to apply for the same job with these 2 other agencies. If all these submissions result in an interview with one of the other 2 agencies rather than the first, then I will of courses, up my salary requirements. As it is, if something comes thru with the first guy, I will insist on $39 an hour. Becus I'm quite sure that they and United Health Care have already worked out what UHC will pay them. A portion of that payment will go to me and the rest the agency keeps. So obviously, the less I earn the more the agency gets and I'm sure they like it that way. But if the company talks to me and decides I'm the one they want, I don't see how the agency could refuse to pay me at the top end of my scale if I insist. They'd be forced to give me what I wanted becus if not, then they don't get paid either.

The other job I'm now very interested is a 100% remote job with unknown company doing marketing writing. Unclear whether it's p/t or f/t but it is contract work through a recruiter. This looks like a highly desirable job to me. The only thing is the job posting was old, 23 days old. I checked the recruiter website and it seems like it's still an active posting. I somehow hadn't seen it earlier.

In the meantime, I still have the 3 day a week publishing job. With the weekly quotas they've set for us for the number of listings they want us to complete, it's not an easy job and a bit of a grind. I barely met that quota at the end of my 3 day workweek, and the quota will only rise over time. I'm hoping I'll be gone before it rises in early summer, but who knows? Like just about every other place I know, they're trying to squeeze the maximum amount of work out of you for the least amount of pay.

Just trying to do the best I can. It ain't easy.

I have another possible deadbeat client on my hands, the husband/wife Century 21 team from a low-rent type city about an hour away from me. I wrote a blog for them. I can't believe they'd actually try to stiff me out of a measly $50 (I discounted my rate for them) and it pisses me off to no end.

I have a complete paper trail with them accepting those terms of payment but of course not worthwhile to pursue in small claims.

I made a point to verbally ask him on the phone before i started to pay in 2 weeks time. He agreed. I sent invoice. When they didn't pay, i emailed him and he said oh sorry, i will have it out in tonight's mail. That was last Monday. By Friday (yesterday), when i still didn't have it, i emailed again and this time got no response at all from him.

They may actually think i don't know how to find them becus i answered their Craig's list ad and they never provided contact info. (Not even a phone, I don't think. When we agreed to discuss the project on the phone, he said he would call me. I figured it didn't matter becus I had already researched who they were online.I found the wife realtor on the website of Century 21, complete with office address and phone.

So if i still don't get the check by say Wednesday next week, i can email them and say oh, i have reason to be up in Your Town next week, so if i don't get the check from you, i can drop by your office on Name of Street. That may scare them becus they may not now know that I know where they work, and they might not want a disgruntled me showing up at their office and possibly embarrassing them.

What do you think?

I don't have any intention of actually schlepping up there but i do want my money.

Any ideas of other ways I could make sure they pay their bill without going to a lot of trouble (driving up there) or expense?

sure, I can write it off, but in my current state of underemployment, every dollar really counts.

Worked all day at home, first on writing up some bios for freelance, and then back to the p/t publishing job.

Hey, guess what?

The annual directory that I edited/updated on a contract basis last Nov/Dec.? It's the 2012 edition and it's published now and I just discovered that my name appears in the book as a Contributing Writer. If I ever go for any other publishing jobs, it will be very impressive.

There's a slew of job opportunities lately, although from past experience, these spring forth like delicate seedlings from the earth and many shrivel up just as quickly.

#1 on my list: An agency in Minnesota contacted me about a United Health Care contract position near where I live. Pay is in the $30s, meaning $30 something an hour. He's submitted my resume to the firm. Would love to work there and would quit my p/t job to do so, even though it's just a 4 to 6 month gig.

I have an interview lined up with the crossword puzzle book publisher Tuesday, but it's a 50-minute drive and they told me the pay is $29K. But it's full-time with benefits. So I don't know. I may still decide to cancel the interview. It's the drive that really bothers me.

Then I have a phone interview with HR at a big research firm for senior writer. That job would also be quite a haul, but it would pay much better.

Still have heard nothing about the contract job with Prudential; it may die away.

I've got over $1,000 in projects I've either already invoiced or will bill out soon, all with the same client. I may have to do quarterly estimated tax payments this year.

Looking forward to some time to myself this weekend, though I don't know what to do with myself.

I started the 2nd p/t job today at the publisher's. There's quite a bit to learn. It was a lot to take in but I think it will come over time.

The company can't be doing that well. I learned they are no longer making free tea and coffee available in the kitchen and remaining supplies are dwindling down. Hmmm.

It's not that interesting, but it'll have to do.

It'll be 2 days there, 1 day at home to start, and then as soon as I feel I've got the hang of Quark and FileMaker and everything else, I can make it 2 days a week at home, 1 day there. I figure after 2 weeks I should be working at home for 2 of the 3 days.

FileMaker resides on their server and can't be taken home like Quark can, so that's why I have to spend 1 day a week there, to transfer the Quark listing updates to FM.

I decided not to wait til Friday to give notice at the job I started yesterday, so tonight I sent a note to the owner and the gal who trained me, nicely worded, but to the point.

They both wrote back and said they understood. They will mail me a check for the day worked, so no biggie. All the owner said was that 1 day was not enough to judge how much $$ you could make, and that he said i could make $15 when he interviewed me, but I know he said to me $17 or $18/hr. becus I immediately mentally compared that rate to what I knew I'd be making at the publishing job.

I feel like I made the right decision. The publishing job requires a great deal of attention and focus so i feel like I have my hands full with that anyway, and this way, I'll still have time to pursue my freelance jobs as they come, and pursue full-time work opportunities.

the cats don't like being home alone all day after having me around for so long. Well, Waldo is probably ok cus he sleeps quite a bit anyway, but Luther, I am sure, is climbing walls.

Today was my first day at the transcription job. I worked in a room with a total of six work stations/computers which they hope to have all filled; they are still hiring and interviewing.

The other gals were very nice and the woman who served as manager did what she could, I think, to make the work environment enjoyable and friendly.

But it was a long and tiring day. The chairs are cheap ones, not very comfortable. Everyone brings in pillows for their backs. There were at times 4 of us in the room.

When one person started randomly talking to another, well, I started having difficulty hearing what was being said in my earphones on the tape I was transcribing. We're all in the same room, and people weren't talking in hushed tones. So you basically had to wait until they were finished talking to get back to work. When someone walked into the room to talk to the manager, it was the same thing. I didn't think it was my place to say anything, it being my first day on the job.

When i interviewed a few weeks back with one of the owners, he told me if you typed at least 60 words per minute, "you should be able to make $17 or $18 an hour." Well, I type north of 80 words per minute and that's not what I made today. Um, yeah, you might make that per hour if you were simply typing.. But they want the text to be pretty much perfect, and I do make little typos here and there, so i was fixing those typos as I went. And then when I was done, I ran spell check, which took some time. Plus I took a few short breaks, plus a half hour lunch, just to stretch. But they aren't paying me for any of that time. They just pay by the total number of words I typed, x a half a penny per word.

So today, i felt I had achieved something, having typed 13,962 words in 7 hours. When i ran that on my calculator at home, it came out to just $69.81, or $9.97 per hour. Which was quite disappointing, given how tired I am.

Paying by the word is cheap and tight-fisted, IMO. And with that pay structure, it's like a disincentive to be very careful because the more care you take with the text, the less you make. But if I try typing any faster, I'll likely just make more errors, which would again require more time to fix. So I don't see how I could really improve much on my speed, or my pay.

If it paid at least what they said it did, or at least $15/hr, which is what I'll be making at the 2nd p/t job, it might be worth it, but given the long drive, the nature of the work and low pay, ....i just think my remaining 2 days a week would be better spent doing my freelance, which pays so much better and continuing the job search.

The freelance won't be enough, even with the other p/t job. And by giving up so soon on this one, i run the risk of again falling short come spring when my benefits finally peter out. (I guess they'll last a little longer, maybe til June, now that I'll be working 3 days a week at the other job.)

The transcription job initially seemed appealing becus, right now at least, there is unlimited work available, and i saw myself going up there weekends, too. But gosh, I'm not a work machine. I question whether I could do it now. I'm not 20. It was very tiring.

Having come to these conclusions, I'm thinking it would be better for me to quit right away, before I go back, rather than wait a few weeks and stick it out. Because I haven't even given them all their paperwork for taxes and stuff. I took it all home with me tonight and had planned on filling it out and bringing it back when i next went back there, which was to be Monday. They don't even have my SSN yet.

I think I should quit right away because if I wait and then quit, I'll have to explain the whole situation to the unemployment office and there's a possibility they might withhold the rest of my benefits becus i quit the job. If I quit now after working just one day, chances are the company won't want to bother processing all my paperwork for a p/t employee (W4, etc) and they'll just want to cut a check and be done with me. I can then just report the income to DOL as a one-time contract job and leave it at that.

So my plan at this point is to wait til Friday, which is my work at home day with the other new job. Then i could call the woman at the transcription job and just be candid with her. I'm sure she'll be disappointed and try to talk me out of it. I will ask to be paid for the one day I worked, and I hope I can get them to agree with me it's not worth it having me fill out all the W4s and other paperwork for a p/t employee just for that 1 day of work. This way, I don't risk complications with DOL.

I'm bummed out, but also feeling what i KNOW will be a short-term feeling of relief. Short-term because the pressure will be right back on to find something better.

My friend did this kind of thing when he took a $9/hr job at Home Depot. I encouraged him to as well. But what in theory sounds like a good idea often is not when you actually try to do it.

In other news, I wrote an email to the IT director whose emails I've been editing, explaining that with these 2 p/t jobs i'd be working full time and would be unable to continue doing his emails, unless i could do them nights or weekends.

he wrote back and said, I don't want to lose you. I'll pay you more! (The 4 words every man, woman and child in America wants to hear, right?). And he asked me to tell him what times I'd be available again and let's try to work it out. So that was nice.

Now I'll probably be able to tell him I quit the one job and can still do his emails most of the time. he should be happy at that.

Well, I got the transcription job. And i start tomorrow, 1 day before I start my other new job. This should be interesting, and i hope not too tiring. But between the 2 jobs,I'll be working 40 hours, 5 days a week. Which hopefully should be enough to pay my bills and stay alive when my unemployment benefits finally trickle out this spring. So, despite the low pay, both these jobs came none too soon.

I can work them both until June 2013 if need be, but I will be constantly looking for a f/t job because I need the all-important health benefits. June 2013 is when my ability to continue with COBRA runs out. So it's imperative to find a salaried job with health insurance before that day, about a year-and-a-half from now.

Here's what the transcription job is all about. Before a network airs a season's worth of a TV show, they tape hundreds of hours, much of which they end up not using or editing down to just so many episodes per season.

The tapes I'll be transcribing are Q&A sessions between a TV producer and a contestant on a top chef reality show on the Food Network. This would be my baby for the next several months. Each time someone new starts talking, I have to hit the time stamp; this helps the producers find the right spots on the tape when they decide where to winnow it down and do their editing. You can at times hear the producer coaching the contestant about what to focus on when he answers their questions. So much for reality.

I'll have to sign a confidentiality agreement becus I'll know how a show ends before it airs, essentially. So this will be the last time I'll be able to talk about it.

It was a little tricky to start off because I had to get the hang of using a foot pedal to stop and start the tape as needed, if they were talking too fast, or to rewind, or if something that was said sounded garbled. There were also a lot of false starts, meaning, someone would start a sentence and then shift into saying something else.

As a natural editor, I have a strong tendency to edit as I type, but they don't want the tape edited, they want it verbatim, although they DO want you to fix grammar, punctuation and spelling. So I'm going to have to watch that becus they said someone else who kept doing that didn't work out.

I gave up trying to figure out my hourly rate. I'll just have to see how it goes. They pay a half penny per word, so i guess if I typed 1 page, about 250 words, I'd earn $12.50. It's really hard to tell how much I could do in an hour. I figure if it's only for 2 days a week it won't kill me.

It may not even come down to this, but I'd like to know in advance which of the 2 p/t jobs I should choose should it end up being an either/or scenario.

I've already concluded that working both jobs would be best if I could swing it, due to various benefits and advantages of both, but I don't know if it would work out that way.

So here again are the basics.

Job #1, Updating an annual directory for a publisher's.
Pros:
Much closer to home (20 minutes).
Flexibility to work part of the time at home.
They would deduct 1/2 the FICA taxes out of my paycheck.
As a p/t employee, I'd be earning unemployment "credits" which could ensure some small benefit should I again find myself without a job sometime in the future.
Cons: Lower rate of pay at $15/hr.
Hours fixed at 25 a week.

Job #2, transcription of taped TV shows.
Pros:
Would be full-time work at times.
Likely pays a bit better, from $2-3 more dollars per hour, but I don't know that for sure until I do it. That higher rate of $17-18/hr is based on what the owner said, and he could be sugar-coating it.
Cons:
Likely won't pay my FICA taxes.
Likely considered contract worker, so I wouldn't build up unemployment "credits." Which means if I were laid off down the road from this job, i might find myself in a situation where I could collect NO unemployment benefits, unless I also worked somewhere else as a regular employee. So this is actually fairly important, becus it's a crucial safety net should another layoff occur.
Could possibly drop to under the 25 hours a week I'm guaranteed at the first job.
Longer commute (40 minutes)
No option to work at home for probably 1st year.

Let's look at the key differences and see how many more hours a week I'd need to work at the transcription job in order to make that the better choice from a strictly financial point of view.

1. Gas expenses. I calculate it would cost me $2 per round trip to the publisher's but $7 per RT to the transcription job, so the transcription job would need to be at least 26 hours a week (at $16/hr) in order for it to pay more than publisher's.

2. FICA taxes. Half of FICA taxes is 12.4%, so this means the publisher's job would put an extra $23.25 in my pocket each week.

So in order for the transcription job to be the better choice in terms of the FICA taxes AND longer commute, I would need to be assured of averaging over 27 hours a week there (at $16 an hour).

The final key difference between the 2 jobs is one I don't really know how to quantify. It's the added potential benefit of working at publisher's as a p/t employee (not contract worker) resulting in my ability to earn unemployment "credit" as I go.

For now I guess I'll disregard it since it would only be a benefit if I got laid off from the publisher's job and that seems a bit unlikely since I sense the directories I'd be working on are a mainstay of what they do and an important revenue source. (If I got fired, of course, I wouldn't collect unemployment anyway.)

So when I go see the transcription people again on Monday, I need to find out if on average it's more than 27 hours a week.
I guess that job would still be better, even if it was over 27 hours a week for just half the year, right? I think they will only offer vague assurances and not really be able to specify exact hours, which is a little troubling. if I could work both jobs, that would be great, but I'd hate to give up the other one for this one, only to find myself working 15 or 20 hours a week.

Working a single job is so much simpler but since these are low-paying jobs with no benefits, I can't afford to just wing it and possibly make the wrong choice, if that kind of choice ("either/or") is given to me. I'm inclined to think the transcription job would be better, as long as I can assure myself it is, in fact, a year-round job and not more temporary in nature.

If i could convince them to accept my working for them 16-20 hours, including part of Saturday, then I could also do the publisher job and at least be earning full-time income, albeit at a low rate. That's the best case scenario.

January was the best month I ever had in terms of doing online surveys. I earned $146!

I filed my federal tax return online and with the combination of modest deductions on the home office form (thanks to Dido for all her help) and the medical expense reimbursement, the most I could get back in a refund was $425. (I had a lot of untaxed freelance income.) But then I owed $205 on the state form (largely due to the fact they decreased the maximum deduction for mortgage interest and property taxes paid to $300,down from $500), so my net will only be about $220 this year. How sad.

I think I spent about 23 hours on taxes, which is close to the average of 20 hours. I feel like I learned a lot by doing them myself again this year, particularly with the home office deduction. I will try to keep better records this year.

I got a final sign-off on the latest press release I did and can release it today. Then I can bill them.

I decided to slightly raise my freelance rates this year. Not across the board, but some things seem a little out of kilter. So I'm raising my fee on press release writing and distribution from $135 to $141.75, a modest 5% hike. These take a little more time than I think I'd allowed for, plus I often send my client links to places where I see the PR published, which I've never included or charged for becus I can't always access certain online publications which charge an access fee, and stuff like that. Plus I just don't have the time to monitor publication hits. But I do it enough for my one client so I figure, the rate increase is justifiable, especially since I haven't raised my rates since 2007-2008.

I may keep the rates on everything else the same, for now. Press releases probably represent about 50% of my freelance work, so the rate increase should be noticeable in my bottom line.

Besides distribution of the press release, the other big thing I want to accomplish this weekend is ghost-writing another article for the real estate exec. It will be the third such article I'll write under his name and which will appear in CT Builder Magazine. I like doing these becus I can charge a little more.

I didn't hear back yesterday afternoon from the woman at investment management subsidiary whose name/email I got from the woman who hired me Q4 2010. I sent my resume and a writing sample, one of the stories I wrote analyzing state housing trends for CT Builder Magazine (see above). I hope she doesn't look at my heavy marketing background and decide I'm not well-suited for writing white papers. That's why I sent that particular writing sample, to counter that possible impression.

Now the woman who hired me last time talked to me on the phone and then I was hired; there was no in-person interview. It would be nice if this worked out that way as well; if it's off-site work, it makes it even less necessary to meet me in person. I have no way of knowing how tenuous a thing this referral is, so I'm trying not to count on it.

In the meantime, I have a Monday appt. to go to the potential transcription job and do a typing test using their special transcription equipment. I'm a little irked, becus in their email they said it was a full-time job, but on the phone she said full-time now, but it could slow down and become part-time later. I really need to pin them down on just what the average hours might be, because I might have to decide between the transcription job and the 25-hour-a-week publisher's job, where I start on Wednesday. The transcription job reportedly pays $2 or $3 more an hour, but that's an estimate and it's all based on word count; it's not an hourly rate, so I have no way of knowing for sure til I do it. If the transcription job ends up average just 25 or 30 hours a week, it might not be worth it to take it even though it could pay slightly more, due to the longer commute...about 40 minutes vs. 20 minutes to the publisher's.

So it's a bit of a toss-up between those 2 jobs, unless I can pin them down and learn that the transcription job is likely to be at least 30 hours a week, on average. One thing against it is that I have to drive to the transcription job to do that work, while I will be able to work at home some of the time to start, maybe more later on, at the publishing job.

Yet another complicating factor just occurred to me. I'm due to start at publisher's on Wednesday. If in the near future I'm offered the transcription job, I may have to quit publisher job,and that may be problematic as to my remaining unemployment benefits. I have a remaining balance of about $7,000 now. Because if I work anything less than 35 hours a week, I may still receive a small mount of unemployment for any particular week.

Maybe I'll call DOL. If I explain I quit one job for a better paying job or more hours, that shouldn't penalize me. It's important for me to know, becus with either job, I'm likely to still rely on unemployment benefits in those weeks I work less than 35 hours.

Oh, the complications.

I didn't plan on it, but yesterday I ended up spending about 12 hours on my taxes. And it ain't done yet.

I did the whole 1040 plus Schedules A, B, C, D and Forms 8829 and 8949 and SE. For the first time, I took the home office deduction. Ended up with just a $355 refund on the federal because I didn't pay a lot of taxes on all my freelance and contract work. I did get a nice deduction also for my health insurance and other healthcare expenses since they exceeded 7.5% of AGI.

So I've done my taxes twice already, first as usual and then with the home office deduction. Now I'm going over it a third time to double-check every number.

Then I'll file electronically and move on to the state tax.

The other big news is on the job front:

This am out of the blue i got an email from the woman who hired me for the great contract job i had in Q4 2010 for the well-known financial services firm. You know, the one that paid $50/hr ($2,000 a week!) She had a colleague who worked in the marketing area of an investment management subsidiary of theirs who was looking for a contract writer for white papers and some other work.

I don't know if it's f/t or p/t right now, whether it's onsite or offsite, or anything else about it, but would jump to work there again and make the big bucks.

Here's the dilemma: I start at the p/t publisher's job next Wednesday.

If possible, I would try to work the white paper job AND the p/t job at the publisher's, which starts next Wednesday. I don't know if that would be possible.

But if the white paper job is f/t, even if it lasts only 3 months, I would still take it and turn down the publisher's job, which is 25 hrs a week at $15/hr. They would hate me for leaving them at the last minute, or possibly shortly after I started, but that's the way it goes.

Then I just got ANOTHER email from a company where I had interviewed a month ago for a transcriptionist job. I guess I didn't get that slot, but they emailed me today to say they have a f/t position and am I interested. I called and she wants me to come in there Monday to test out the transcription equipment and see how well I do with it. They clocked me at 90 words a minute last time i was there, but that was just a typing test without the transcription equipment.

There are no benefits and while it's f/t now, the hours could be reduced somewhat later; it all depends on how much work comes in. They pay by the word and as I recall, he said I should be able to average around $17 or $18/hr, so somewhat better than the job at the publisher's. However, the publisher's is an easy 20-minute drive away and I could work at least 1 day a week at home (2 days in-office), while the transcription job is 40 minutes away and I'd have to work there.

So I am very excited about the possibilities.

The other important factor is which jobs would deduct taxes from my paycheck and treat me like a regular, albeit p/t employee, vs, those who would treat me like a 1099 contract worker.

I'm assuming fin. services job would treat me like a contract worker. I noticed the timing of their reaching out to me today was exactly 1 year after I finished working for them; I had to sign a no compete clause with the agency that found me for them saying I wouldn't work for this company again for a year. That term expired Jan. 1 2012, so perhaps no coincidence the company called me, since it would save them many thousands of dollars if they didn't have to pay an agency to find me.

The publisher's would deduct FICA taxes from my check. Not sure about the transcription job.

The treatment of me as an employee or contract worker is also important in terms of unemployment "credits." i would "earn" these credits, as far as the unemployment office is concerned, if I found work as an employee, but not contract work. These credits are what determines how much you would receive in unemployment compensation should I again lose a job in the future. So this is very important, too.

It caught me by surprise as I don't follow it daily, but January was a pretty good month in the stock market. My total portfolio increased by over $17,000 in just one month.

I made decent progress today on a capabilities writeup for a freelance client. I spent quite a bit of time on it although it's just a page and a quarter long. There is more work still to be done on it but I sent it to one exec for feedback.

I am anxious to begin billing for some freelance work again since January got off to a very slow start and I've gotten no freelance income YTD.

Today was exceptionally warm outside for early February, in the 50s. I rolled a few more heavy logs down from my backyard into the driveway. As a shortcut, I tried rolling one log down my bluestone stairs, but the log was so heavy it chipped off a piece of bluestone. Not good. I think I can repair it with cement in the spring.

With still about a quarter tank of heating oil in the tank, I caved and ordered 100 gallons at the exorbitant price of $3.52 a gallon. I have been calling the 2 lowest priced heating oil suppliers I know in the area for the past few weeks to get their daily prices, and their prices today actually increased about .05 a gallon since last week. Usually, prices fall during warm weather, so that's why I waited until today to call. But there are so many other variables, it seems impossible these days to time it right.

I decided to only get 100 gallons instead of filling up my 175-gallon tank partly becus it's more affordable, but also in the hope that if I can't get through the rest of the winter season, I can at least buy it again in March at a lower price, becus there again, prices seem to drop toward the end of the season when demand weakens. In theory, anyway. I have never paid so much for heating oil as I have this year. It will be delivered Friday.

After doing a few hours of research a few weeks ago, I like the idea of a pellet stove, but that idea will be shelved indefinitely, until I get a f/t job.

I am about ready to start my taxes. I am still waiting for one 1099, but I really don't need it to get started as I know how much I earned from this employer.

I'd love to get the taxes done before I start work at the publisher's next week. I assumed I'd be starting on Monday, but they decided the two in-office days would be Wednesday and Thursday, so I'll be starting on Wednesday. So finishing those taxes is a possibility. It'll feel good just to start. Maybe tomorrow.

Wow, what a great movie this was.

If you appreciate a great plot, well-developed characters, great acting and an unpredictable storyline, you'll really like this movie.

i had never heard of it before and didn't recognize any of the actors, so I wasn't expecting much.

I was so fascinated by it that i even watched the alternate ending on the DVD and deleted scenes, something I don't usually do.

I'd love to discuss parts of it with someone here as I missed some of the dialogue, but I hate to give away much of the plot.

OK, here's just the beginning storyline:

A beginner screenwriter has just written a story based on his relationship with his gay lover, who recently died of AIDS. A big Hollywood film executive tells him he wants to make it into a movie, and that he'll pay him $1 million for it. But there's one catch: he doesn't think the story, as written, will have mass appeal, and he wants the screenwriter to change it to a heterosexual love interest, not a gay one.

This poses a big dilemma for the screenwriter, becus the project was personally meaningful. He decides to do it, and he ends up spending more and more time not only with the film exec, but with his wife. The two gradually become fascinated with the screenwriter, for very different reasons.

What I liked so much about the movie is how each of the characters is only gradually revealed you you, layer by layer. So the movie starts off with three very bright, sophisticated individuals, and as certain secrets are themselves revealed, each of them acts in very unpredictable ways.

Turns out what i thought was worn rear brake pads was bits of rust and corrosion from a rusty wheel drum flaking off. Cost me $50 for it to all be cleaned, so i consider myself lucky there.

When I was about 22 years old, I had recently graduated from college and was living on Cape Cod, Massachusetts. One night my girlfriend and I (she had gone to the same school I had) were at a bar and met a really cute guy. My friend ended up dancing with him that night, but I ended up dating him for a while. He even lived with me for a short time when I was lonely after moving up to southern Vermont a few years later for a newspaper job.

At the time, I probably didn't exercise the best judgement about men. I liked him because 1. he was handsome and outdoorsy and 2. he drove the cutest little MG convertible, a stick shift, which he let me borrow or drive on occasion.

However, it was just a total mismatch. I was a young college grad, a bit brainy but adventurous and finding my way in the world, and he was a carpenter with a really pronounced Boston accent.

Things ended up badly after I decided to break things off with him and made the mistake of telling him I wanted to date other men. He twisted my arm up behind my back in a painful way while we argued in a restaurant parking lot. He said he wanted to hurt me the way I had hurt him. I thought my shoulder was going to pop out of the socket. Someone from inside the restaurant called the cops when they heard me scream, he took off, the cops arrested him for attempted battery with a deadly weapon (his car), yada yada yada. I've told this story here before.

Anyway, that was a long time ago. I'm in my 50s now. Around 5 or 6 years ago, he somehow tracked me down. My phone number, anyway. I don't think he knows where I live except that it's Connecticut. So every year since then, on Christmas, birthdays, sometimes Easter, I'd get a call from him all cheerful and wanting to talk about old times.

I really want nothing to do with this guy. I told him I was married just to get him off my back. Didn't work. I told him in no uncertain terms not to call back. I hung up on him several times, only to have him call back and act all hurt. One time, he happened to call when my then boyfriend was over, and I put him on the phone just to scare him off.

So this past year, when Christmas and then New year's went by with no call from him, I figured I was finally home free.

Wrong. He called today. The last person I expected in the middle of the day, as I was finishing up some freelance work. He says, hey, how ya doing, in a real friendly way. I said, Who is this? And when he said, "Mike," I said, I told you not to call me again, incredulous that, in fact, he had. He said, oh, I've been having dreams about you and I wanted to see if you were ok. I said I was fine and quickly ended the call.

I'd thought about reporting him to the police, but to do that, I'd need to have his phone number. He gave it to me before, but I never bothered to write it down becus I knew I would never want to call him back. Each time this happens, I say, well next time, just ask him straight out for his phone number and then once he gives it to you, tell him you'll give it to the police if he calls again. But he caught me by surprise today and so of course I forgot to do that.

I also considered that even if I did have his number, it might not be such a good idea to hand it over to the police, because if the police called him, they would have to identify themselves as "X-town Police Dept." Which would reveal the name of my hometown.

While it's easy enough these days to find someone's location online, I don't think he uses a computer. He's always worked as a carpenter and roofer, so it wasn't part of his vocabulary.

I need to look up how to block a given phone number. That's probably the best thing. Should have done it a long time ago, but the calls, while unsettling, are infrequent enough that I don't have that code you dial near the phone at any given point in time.

I sort of feel sorry for him becus often when he calls he sounds down and depressed, but gosh, if you want to dig out of a depression, the worst thing to do is reminisce about people who used to be in your life a good 30 years ago; better to find someone new!

He acts like it's perfectly fine to reconnect with someone from your past, but he seems to forget that's ONLY all right if the other person wants that too!

it gives me the creeps.

On a positive note, I'm feeling much better again today and finally getting rid of the cold. I also was able to knock off 2 of the 5 freelance jobs I got from my client: a blog summarizing all the positive housing news in the press of late, and a press release, probably the 5th one I've done for a new single family home subdivision that's been selling very well since they began construction early last year. They've been building it out in three phases, about 10 homes in each phase. Each time I do a press release, I need to come up with a new news hook for the release; otherwise, it'll just sound like an ad and the paper might not publish it.

Tomorrow I've got to bring my car in to get the back brake pads done. I usually go the dealer, but decided to try a mechanic my mother really likes. Could be cheaper than the dealer, but my experience last time I went elsewhere than the dealer was that the local car repair shop was just as pricey. But I'll give this guy my mother uses a shot. But to do so, I've got to drop it off, have my mom pick me up and then hang out at her place until the mechanic calls with his prognosis and price. I sure hope it doesn't take all day. At least at the dealer,there's a pretty comfortable lounge/waiting area where you can get some free coffee, watch TV or work on your laptop, if you have one. Perhaps that's what the dealer's high prices are paying for. We'll find out.

Tomorrow at my mother's, I hope to begin work on the 3 remaining assignments, 2 standalone bios for 2 execs and a write-up about the division as a whole, to be used both in-print and online. They're trying to go head to head in certain states where they're not just up against other real estate companies. In those cases, no big deal, they just gobble them up and take them over. But in certain cases, the competition works more like consulting companies, so my client, a real estate/mortgage/insurance/relocation company, needs to position itself as more of a marketing agency with the resources of the brokerage behind them.

I was having a little trouble conceptualizing everything so I'm glad I called to discuss all this with the marketing director there. They usually just give me stuff with not much direction, which is fine with me, and is only something I think I can do because I worked on staff for this company back in 1988-1990, and again for 2 years around 2000, so we have some history together. But every once in a while, I need to ask a few questions.

I was in the mood for some turkey chili today, so I got the whole thing going this morning. It's been cooking on "Low," since 9 am and is supposed to be done at 8 pm, in another 2 hours.

I was feeling nervous about the beans, because I used dried beans. About 2 cups black beans and 1 cup red kidney beans. I know from past experience that you really need to cook them in WATER, not chicken broth or any other kind of liquid other than water, becus they just won't cook.

But that's exactly what I did, hoping it might work. The only liquid I had in the chili was about 2 cups of very watery tomatoes i had frozen from last summer's veggie garden, and I was hoping that would be enough.

So I decided to taste it now, and while the black beans are ok (I must have partially cooked them before freezing them) the red kidney beans, which I soaked overnight, are still pretty hard after 8 hours of cooking!

I read on the plastic bag for the kidney beans that you need 4 cups of water to cook them til soft. So I hated doing it, but I heated up 2 cups of water and added that to my lovely chili, making it very watery. I'm hoping the beans will absorb all that extra liquid.

I turned the temp to High and am hoping that will do the trick in another 2 hours. Either that, or I'll be eating dinner around midnight.

What do you think?

OK, I've been cooking this chili since 9 am. I was worried that the dried beans I used wouldn't cook right; it seems you really need to use water to cook them, not chicken broth or other liquids.

I decided to taste some now to see, although it's got 2 more hours to go. The black beans are ok; I got them from the freezer, and it's possible I partially cooked them before freezing them. (Can't remember.) But the red kidney beans are still quite hard!

I looked at the bag and it said cook a half pound in 4 cups of water. That's a lot of liquid. All the liquid I had in the chili was about 2 cups of watery tomatoes I'd frozen from last summer's veggie garden. Plus I added a few tablespoons of a jarred pasta sauce. And I used half a pound of the kidney beans, or about 1 cup.

So, I hope I didn't ruin it, but it seemed I needed to add more H20 to the chili. I hated doing it, but I added 2 cups of hot water, which has made it really watery. I'm hoping those beans will absorb all that water.

What do you think?

I also turned the temp to High; it was on Low all day.

Well, geez,this cold seems to be taking forever to run its course. I believe I have a little more energy today and am hoping by tomorrow I will really feel better. There are periods in the day I can breathe through my nose, which is a relief.

I ended up getting that p/t job as project editor at the publisher's. I start Feb. 6. Not really looking forward to it; it's all about the money, which is minimal, but better than nothing.

So I have one free week before I begin working 3 days a week for them. I've noticed a sound in the right rear of my car when i step on the brake, and I assume it's worn brake pads. So I want to get that fixed before I start this job. The Honda dealer said it would be $300. I also emailed a friend who works p/t at a service station. He had once told me he could get me a discount on common car repairs, so now we'll see what he can do.

I also have a few freelance jobs backed up that I haven't attended to due to being sick. Three or four assignments with one client. A blog, a press release and 3 bios. OK, that's five.

I've had some turkey chili going all day in the slow cooker. I used dried beans and I sure home they will cook. Most of the liquid is from some watery tomatoes from my summer garden, from the freezer. They were soaked overnight, but not cooked, but it's been going since 9 am so again, I sure HOPE they will be soft and cooked becus fishing them out of everything else would be a chore.

i had a job interview lined up for this Friday for a web copywriter....a "real" job with salary and benefits...really looking forward to it, but I was trying to get a hold of the woman who had called me just 2 days ago to set up the interview time to see if i could reschedule it for early next week, due to my cold.

I really wanted to be 100% when I present myself as a candidate for the job,and I knew I also needed several hours to prep for the interview and pull my portfolio together.

I can barely keep my eyes open and I'm breathing thru my mouth with dried up snots in my nose, hardly the image I want to present them.

She wasn't in when i called this morning a little after 9, and i was surprised i didn't get a call-back relatively quickly. So i called her back a little before noon. When I said, I'm really looking forward to this interview, but i've come down with a bad cold, could we possibly reschedule, she said oh, that's ok, i was going to call you anyway.We've decided not to hire for this position at this time. Something's come up and we've just decided not to hire right now. But I'll keep your resume on file, etc.

What is going on???? Every job I think I have keeps slipping from my grasp.

So looks like I'll have to settle for the p/t job grossing $375 a week. That is, IF I get it.

Just got a call from another company whose job posting I responded to last week.

It's a FULL-TIME SALARIED WITH BENEFITS job as a web copywriter with an Internet marketing company.

It may not be a perfect fit, but I'm pretty sure I'm at least a 75% fit. They want someone with diverse writing experience doing web content, press releases, blog posts and articles. That's definitely me, and just like what i did at my last f/t job at a personal finance consumer website.

They also want someone who knows both AP and Chicago style. I know AP.

They want someone who knows basic HTML for linking and keyword research and writing SEO copy. I can do this, although I guess we were spoiled at my last job becus there was a dedicated person who did all the keyword research for us writers.

But they also want someone with knowledge of Hoot Suite, Facebook, Twitter etc. Although I have accounts with Facebook and Twitter, I don't at all feel fluent in them and rarely use them.

So the interview's set up with 2 people for Friday afternoon. It's about a 50-minute drive. Of course, it would be far preferable to the publishing job.

And as I feel like the imminent end of unemployment benefits is looming overhead, along with an expected big jump in the cost of my COBRA in June, the timing, if I got the job, could not be more perfect.

Just back from my interview at the publisher's this morning.

I think it went pretty well, better than expected. You have to remember that when I saw that, after the editor in chief had emailed me to ask if I'd still be interested in the job after they decided to change it from full-time to part-time, and then they posted the position on the job boards anyway, I actually felt a little betrayed by that.

Well, I'd forgotten to consider that they are looking to hire TWO p/t project editors, so even if they had decided in their heads they wanted me,they still needed to post the other position.

When I walked in there, the editor in chief was talking to another gal who works there, and the other person stayed there thruout my "interview," which was more like a friendly conversation and the editor showing me on her monitor what the files and filemaker docs looked like and how they updated them. It was a quick breeze-through, of course, and it would require some training.

While I certainly have learned not to count on ANYTHING, it did sound like they had sort of already decided before I arrived that they planned on having me fill one of the two openings.

I felt comfortable enough that toward the end of our talk, I decided to be very transparent about what I perceived to be my shortcomings as far as this job goes, and that is, my lack of knowledge about Quark and Filemaker. So I asked if it might make sense, if I knew I was going to get the job for instance, if I enrolled in an online tutorial for either or both programs. They basically said no, it's not that hard.

Then I said, gee, even if there was one of those Quark for Dummies books or another Quark or Filemaker manual lying around the office, if I knew I was getting the job, it would be great if I could take it home so i could study up on it before starting, just to try to get a leg up on it.

The editor swiveled around in her chair and picked up a Quark manual on her desk and waved it in the air. I felt comfortable enough saying in a kidding manner, Does that mean I have the job? They both laughed, and editor said she had to talk to her boss first.

When i left and was saying goodbye to both, the other gal said "See you soon." So I got pretty good vibes.

It may simply be becus, as the editor acknowledged at one point, it's hard to find good people when you're only paying them $15/hr. Yes, i confirmed that is still the rate of pay, but she pointed out that I will have more money in my pocket becus the company would be paying my FICA taxes and treating me as a regular employee, not a freelancer.

she said they're moving away from freelancers because there were some problems with availability. Some of the freelancers had small kids and not all were "invested" in the job the way they would like them to be, and some freelancers' work was inconsistent with others. So for all those reasons, they want to hire 2 p/t project editors who would be responsible for a total of 3 (not 2, as I thought) annual directories. the editor said she didn't feel that one person could do all 3 directories full-time becus it was just too much work. So that alone may have been the reason why they changed the job from f/t to p/t. I had assumed it was a purely money-saving move.

She wants to make a decision next week and have both positions start on Feb. 6.

So it looks fairly positive. It won't at all be an easy job. Learning new software always makes me feel a little apprehensive and it looks like it would be the ed in chief herself who would be training us; she tends to race through stuff very quickly, so this has me feeling even more nervous about it.

At least for the first month, they'd want us to work at least 2 full days in the office and then the third day could be at home. Sounds like down the road, it could be more work done at home, but it would require a lot of copying and updating the database on flash drives and bringing that back and forth, a little inconvenient. They have extra Macs so I could just bring one home and keep it there for when I worked at home.

So we're looking at $375 gross a week, 3 days a week, and of course that would supplement my existing freelance work. It won't be enough to live on once I lose my unemployment benefits in April but for now it will be ok. And of course if I start Feb. 6, it will further delay the end of my unemployment benefits I would think at least through May.

My monthly net after taxes would be about $1343. The bare minimum I need now to pay expenses is $2300, so once I exhausts unemployment benefits, I'll have a sizable shortfall of $957. Once my mortgage is paid off hopefully some time next year, my minimum monthly expenses would drop to $1740 and my monthly shortfall would then drop to just $400, which I can more realistically make up for at least partially with my other freelance work.

Put another way, it's certainly not a "cure," but it will slow the loss of blood.

In other news, I think I'm getting a cold. Hopefully will be rid of it prior to any work start date.

I also heard back from the husband of the husband/wife realtor team for whom i wrote that blog post. They only anticipate getting new blog posts once a month! It doesen't surprise me on the one hand, as the real estate market is still very slow. But no shot at this being anything other than a small $50 monthly injection into PatientSaver's household.

Keep on truckin'. That's all you can do.

There's nothing like work to perk me up if I'm feeling gloomy and pessimistic.

And now I have some.

Here's what's going on in the next 2 days:

* 2 phone interviews lined up with 2 guys with my oldest (real estate) client; i need to jazz up their bios as they're trying to emphasize their marketing prowess to builder clients.

* the interview with the publisher for the p/t job

* Also, I wrote a blog/article for a Century 21 husband/wife team on "pitfalls to avoid when applying for a mortgage." These were the people who offered the really miserly rate of pay and I was able to talk them into "trying me out" for 1 story at $50. They assigned it last week with a couple of keywords and I turned it around in a day; took just under 2 hours. I got word back today that he really liked it. Which allowed me to gracefully segue into my next question, which was ideally, how often would they like to get fresh content for their blog? I'd love to make it a regular thing. Even 1 a week would be great, at $50 a pop, = $200 extra a month. Fingers crossed. I don't know that they'd want to commit that much money to a blog, especially given that business is very slow, but you never know.

And my dad and SO are coming up Wednesday for the rest of my firewood, and then we'll go out to a nice dinner.

So a busy next two days. I'm in a better frame of mind now.

I've spent a good part of today prepping for my interview; I also got out for a walk around the block and used my snow rake to get the snow off the lower few feet on the roof, having learned how damaging ice dams can be. There's not much snow up there now, but it will refreeze tonight, so just to be sure I have no problems, I got out there with an aluminum step ladder and it was pretty easy.

I pretty much mentally wrote off anything happening with the publisher after seeing that they reposted the job, in its latest reincarnation, on the job boards.

But she contacted me this morning to continue the email exchange from last week about my coming in to talk to her about it.

So it's set up for tomorrow at 11.

Based on the latest job description, I don't feel I will likely be the most qualified candidate, as I don't know Quark or FileMaker, the two programs they mentioned would be a plus. So the only edge I think I have is the fact that I did a portion of the work as a temporary worker and I'm a known quantity. I will have to convince them I can learn new software quickly (which I hope I can).

My old friend R. is still telling me not to accept $15/hr., if that's what the pay is, and to hold out for $25. I usually really hold his opinion in high regard, but in this case, I think he's a little removed from the work world and is a little off base here.

This is a small outfit, so she just may tell me the pay rate right at the interview, just as she did when I interviewed for the contract job. (I'm guessing it'll be $15/hr as a worst case scenario and will be pleasantly surprised if it's any better.)

My thinking is, if that's all they've decided to pay, they won't likely budge. It's not like they're a huge company. I'm guessing they have less than 25 employees. I think they might be a more inclined to adjust pay for a f/t position, but for p/t, I'm guessing not. So we'll have to see how it goes.

I will also need to assure her that 20 to 25 hours a week is "fine" with me, and that I'm content with that kind of arrangement for the long run. Obviously she won't hire me if she thinks I will bail for something better later on. My mindset is to take whatever I possibly can, even while knowing this won't be enough for me, especially at their low pay rate. So it's possible if, down the road I get the job that I will likely at some point have to leave for a better job and leave them in a lurch, but you know what? Not really my problem; employers do that to employees all the time, with no notice at all. It's how the game is played.

We have about 4 inches on the ground and it seems like it's winding down. I see a snow shovel in my future.

Just wanted to say thanks again for the incredibly kind and encouraging words from all of you on my latest job-related disappointment.

It was odd that she never got back to me on Friday after I answered her email that yes, I was still interested in the scaled back (p/t) job and when next week would you like to meet?

This a.m., I saw that they had posted the job on CareerBuilder. I guess that means I'm not a shoo-in and that they will be going through the whole candidate selection process once again.

I toyed with the idea of reapplying on the job board just to reaffirm my interest, but heck, she knows I'm interested. It kind of would feel like groveling. Instead, I applied today for an editor job doing puzzles for a small publisher about 50 minutes away. This job is full-time and offers benefits, so though I sense it also would be low-paying, I applied due to the medical coverage and normal benefits.

As soon as I pay off the mortgage, money will be less important than medical coverage. Of course, I still want to make as much as I can because I will reach my financial goals more quickly, but in terms of getting by, I can do so with a very low salary IF they offer standard benefits.

I've been having these anxiety dreams, usually in the form of me driving in a car and losing control. Either I can't seem to find the brake pedal or, more often, the car is careening backwards off a cliff or rolling down a hill, and I know that in a few split seconds, the car will hit a tree or something and I'm scared out of my mind. Or sometimes, I dream that I've witnessed a crime or have another urgent need to call 911 but the phone won't connect the call or I wait and there's no connection or I get an interminable busy signal and I keep running to look for other phones to try or to spot a police officer and time is running out.

Last night I made a pretty good frittata with sun-dried tomatoes, goat cheese, caramelized onions, fresh basil and I think it was about 5 eggs. It would have been even better with bacon or ham, but I've given up processed meats for health reasons. Asparagus might also be a nice addition. It was super easy to make and even fit in my toaster oven.

I am still feeling very negative about employers in general. I think what happened is the publisher didn't realize that by asking me if I'd be interested in a full-time job, it really, really got my hopes up. And then it was just sloppy of them to have done so, becus it then turned into a p-t job. I suppose they could care less how it might personally affect a job-seeker, and she probably doesn't realize how much I WANT and NEED a f/t job, but still. Get your act together first before putting out feelings to possible job candidates.

I'm trying not to dwell on it but it may take another day or two. I guess it hurt a little more becus I've already worked with these people and would hope they'd be a little more ... human about it. It's like dangling a carrot in front of a starving person and then saying, hmm, well, I don't know, how about a half a carrot? But you know what? Maybe I won't give you any carrot at all, I really have to think about it.

I'm so f****** tired and exhausted.

You remember the small publisher I did contract work for back in Nov/Dec. The editor in chief more recently asked me if I'd be interested in a full-time, in-house project manager job and that she'd get back to me early this week, as soon as she "worked out the details" of the job.

I spent a lot of time crunching the numbers to see if I could survive on $40 or $45K, the amount I was guessing they'd offer. I wanted to make sure it was doable, and to be prepared if and when an offer came.

I finally heard back from her this morning. They've decided to turn it into a part-time staff position, which means they would take out FICA taxes but there would be no medical benefits. It would be 20 to 25 hours a week, 2 days in-house, 1 day at home. And I'm guessing it would still pay just $15/hr.

She said it would be research, writing the listings and using Quark, but also learning FileMaker and occasionally interacting with editors at various publications.

I'm like, totally demoralized, crushed. I thought I could finally escape chronic unemployment. I guess not. I just can't go on like this. They want to bleed you dry.

If I made between $300 and $375 a week, I guess this would again extend my dwindling unemployment benefits. At this point, I don't even know that they'd hire me, becus I don't know Quark (not sure she's aware of this) and I don't know FileMaker.

I'm just really so upset. I feel like every door I knock on is shut in my face. Full-time, salaried jobs with benefits just seem like an unattainable mirage that's always just beyond my reach.

I spent $76 this a.m. grocery shopping at Shop Rite. That's a LOT for me. They had those little Polar fruit in a jar things on sale for $1 each, so I decided to try a few, and I'm rather pleased. There were just 3 ingredients in it: pears, sugar, water, and it's not overly sweet. What's more, the pears were pretty firm, not mush like the Del Monte fruit cocktail I grew up with. It's a good way to work more fruit in your diet during the winter. I think I'll go back for more while they still have their sale.

I also splurged a bit on a quart of Kefir, which is so good, plus the Kozy Shack puddings were all on sale. I love my puddings!

I'm feeling a bit twisted and demented because I HAVE NOT HEARD from the editor in chief at the publishing company who was supposed to contact me early this week to schedule a time for me to come in to talk about the project manager job. I just dashed off an email to her. They seem to move slowly over there, but I hate the waiting game. It sounded so positive. I'm going to scream if she says anything negative about it.

I responded a few days ago to an ad for a freelance real estate blog writer, and they wrote back tonight asking me my rate. Turns out they're a husband and wife realtor team with a well-known brokerage in the Hartford area.

I'm so tired of getting backed into a corner on "my rate," as it's invariably too high for them to consider or so low it's not worth doing. So I sidestepped answering that and said it depends on how much research is involved, whether I'm doing phone interviews to get some quotes, etc. etc. I invited her to tell me what she had in mind, and I was once again galled and floored when she said she could they could manage $25 for a 350-word story.

Hardly worth the trouble, but I wrote back, hiding my anger and explaining that as she saw from my resume, I have 10 years of experience as a real estate copywriter and nearly 30 as a marketing writer. And maybe they could get a college kid to do it. But then I threw caution to the wind and said I would be willing to write a relevant, meaningful and topical general interest, 350-word real estate story, with their keywords, no interviews of anyone, for $50 and invited them to try me out on one and see how they like it.

So they agreed to do that. We'll talk tomorrow. If I could get them to work with me and do even 2 stories a week, that would work out to $400 a month, which would be very helpful. And I could do it all from the comfort of my home.

Warning: Rant ahead. I remember when I worked at the website at my last perm job, I managed a team of 4 freelance writers. Well,none of them were professional writers (and it REALLY showed, the writing was atrocious) but they all had the subject matter expertise, plus we were bound by a contract to work with them. So I was stuck with them basically, but I remember that we paid them $275 for a a 350-word story, which was a GREAT rate of pay, but just $75 for a blog post, which was too little, and just out of sync with the article rate. But anyway, you see how even $50 is a pittance. But like a lot of others, they go to these online sites like elance and see there are writers in places like India or China who offer to write a story for $5 or $10. You get what you pay for: local irrelevance and someone who wants to practice their English skills. End of rant.

I met The Author yesterday at Starbucks and she paid me the final payment on the first book. Expecting to get Book 2 in the next week or two.

Back in November, I ordered an economical Hamilton Beach hand mixer for i think about $25 at Amazon. I couldn't figure out the proper way to insert the beaters, even after reading their instructions,and I may have ended up bending them somewhat cus now when i insert them and turn it on, they click together, touching each other.

So I called Hamilton Beach and explained the situation and she agreed to mail me out replacement beaters at no cost, once I showed proof of purchase. So I am pleased, as I like the mixer. It got very good reviews. I certainly don't need a $300 stand mixer.

I am now charging up cashback credit card #4 and waiting to get the bill for #3 (Discover) so my cash back there will be awarded. I think you have to pay the bill first before it appears online.I was able to charge my car insurance to the new card so I think the new one will add up quickly to $500.

I think I will try making my first ever fritatta tomorrow with a recipe I saw somewhere, using sun-dried tomatoes, onions and eggs. I'll omit the bacon/ham.

I got a few bank statements today that I'll need to do my taxes, but still waiting on 2 contract employees to send the 1099s.

I finally replaced the hard-to-find battery in my garage door opener after doing without it for months. And all this time it was at Ace Hardware. It will be the only way I'll access the garage now because the basement door is so drafty, I decided to seal it up pretty well by stuffing foam insulation all around it with a butter knife, but obviously it won't stay in if I open the door.