. So I'm eating my morning breakfast cereal today, as I always do, when, after 3 or 4 spoonfuls of deliciousness, I look down at the bowl to see what looked like an earwig resting at the top rim of the bowl, on the inside. Like it had just crawled out after being submerged in soy milk.
EWWWW.
I had to dump it. It just grossed me out. Since the blueberries came from a frozen bag and I'm pretty sure it didn't come from the half gallon of soy milk, it must've crawled into to 1 of the 2 glass cereal canisters I keep on the countertop (mason-type jars), OR the bag of raisins OR the glass jar of walnuts. I checked each to be sure there weren't others.
I very recently decided to divest myself of a lot of unframed art my mother had created. To sell it, I would have to frame it, and many of these people were quite large (like 2 x 3 feet), making framing not only very expensive but also very heavy and unwieldy.
So I decided to gift close to a dozen pieces on my Buy Nothing group (where you can just acquire just about anything, from a canoe to a set of dishes to yes, a work of art).
I wasn't sure there would be much interest in my mother's modern/abstract art, but I have been gratified to see how much interest and appreciation there has been. Much of my mother's work sat in storage in a spare bedroom for the past 8 years. I only have so much wall space. I have sold some of her work and donated other pieces, too, but I am gifting the unframed stuff. The room is by no means cleaned out, but I still felt a great sense of lightness having taken some concrete steps to do something with the art. Better they go to people who can enjoy and display them than sit gathering dust in my spare bedroom.
I do feel pangs of regret parting with some of it and it's definitely got me thinking more about my mother. I also wonder if I'm going to regret doing this later. I think she would understand, but still, I do feel a certain sense of loss and dare I say, guilt, in giving these away.
The other thing I tackled yesterday after thinking about it all year was herbicide treatment to kill tree of heaven saplings that popped up all over the property after I tried cutting them down several years in a row. This is one of a handful of invasive plants that MUST be treated with herbicide. It's also a host plant to the spotted lantern fly.
I had to mix the herbicide with an oil (for better adhesion), then add food dye so I can keep track of which saplings I've treated. There are probably a few dozen here. (I'm also keeping a written list with the date, since you need to wait 30 days for it to die before cutting it down.) Cutting it down before it's dead will stimulate it to spread even more. Anyway, I knew I had just one day (yesterday) to get started on this before the heat wave returns for most of the week. I waited til 4 pm but it was still hot as heck, and you have to wear long pants, socks, long sleeves, and mask. Because I had to clear all the vegetation surrounding the tree of heaven, including poison ivy (most all located in the brushy perimeter of the property), I was only able to treat 3 saplings in 2 hours.
The optimal window for doing this treatment is between mid-July and September, when the plant is sending sugars/carbohydrates down to its roots. If you do it another time, it won't be effective.
I'm getting too old to have to do this kind of thing. Which is the reason I've also been thinking in recent weeks (again) that I should sell this place and move to a condo. The challenge now is the really tight real estate market. My greatest preference would be to remain in my hometown here, but it never had a lot of condos, and with this market, even fewer listings.
My second choice would be a particular complex in neighboring town (where my dad lives now) but it only has about 90 units and there aren't usually more than a handful on the market at any one time. I also like the units in the much larger complex (several thousand!) nearby it, but there are 2 problems with that complex: the garages are detached and a bit of a walk to your unit, so not so nice if you're carrying groceries or it's raining, and 2) the common charges are quite high, like $700 to $800/month, due to the extensive landscaped grounds. It's like a small village unto itself. The units at the small complex that I like has attached garages and look very much like single family homes, each unit with its own yard and very private back deck or patio, usually fronting woods.
I've even been looking for updated ranches on small lots in my hometown, but not much of those, either. I won't buy a fixer upper at this stage of my life. My worst fear is that my home would likely sell fairly quickly, but then I'd feel pressured to buy something I wasn't really in love with, or feel pressured to buy when there simply weren't many choices. I don't plan to move again, so it needs to be a great fit.
So thoughts of moving sometime in the next few years are part of what's driving my divestiture of art work. I've been very slowly decluttering household items, and have made a list of maintenance/repairs that I feel should be done before I put anything on the market. I am hoping that I could wait out the tight inventory market and that things will improve in a year or two, but I don't really know.
I've done some cost comparisons of certain expenses like property taxes, lawncare, snow removal, monthly condo charges, etc. Even though my favorite condo in neighboring town includes TV and Internet in what its common charges cover, I still would be paying roughly $4,000 more a year to live in a smaller condo than here in my freestanding home. And that's before factoring in senior tax credits for my hometown. (There are both state and local senior tax credit programs, but even the more generous town program in this neighboring town has an income limit of just $53,400; my current town has a more generous income limit.) Probably becus I really do live pretty frugally here, still shoveling my own snow, which I know I can't do forever. And I don't pay any monthly fees for TV.
I just have been realizing that, not only is the care and maintenance of this property something I'm not doing a very good job at (and likely never will), but it also takes up an inordinate amount of my time when, increasingly, I'd rather be doing something else, plus it's become a source of anxiety knowing stuff needs to be done but I'm not doing it, often due to tick season or extreme heat making it very difficult. My feelings were different when I bought this place at age 36, when I embraced all the yard work and enjoyed it. Sigh.
July 15th, 2024 at 06:00 pm 1721062807
July 15th, 2024 at 07:10 pm 1721067003
Your mother’s art will be displayed and enjoyed. That is a gift.
As for moving, if you have never lived with a condo association, do a lot of research. Part of why I sold my ‘beach house’ was that the condo association politics became unbearable - during the pandemic, after 35 years - the residents started fighting over parking spaces…my dad lives in Florida and after 25 years, friendships are breaking up over condo issues.
All associations aren’t bad, and bigger, professionally run IMO are better than small ones. But there are often a lot of arbitrary seeming rules and nastiness over enforcing them. And a majority decision can cause you to spend money you don’t want to - or put off needed repairs.
I live in a small - 5 unit building now. My ‘next stop’ is going to be renting. The interest on what my condo will sell for, added to taxes and condo fees, will cover the rent. And if I need some of the principle too? Well I can’t take it with me. I have a place in mind but I’m not ready yet. My plan works well because I can move and then sell my condo - I have sufficient funds to do that.
Anyway, it’s always good to be thinking about ‘what’s next’ as our needs change.
July 16th, 2024 at 12:52 am 1721087578
I'm not telling you which way to go like I tell my mom. What i"m saying is that whatever wealth you think you have or need you probably have enough. So if money isn't a factor, what is more important to you?
Write a list. I just did that with a client today and ask you have to look in the mirror and ask about your risk tolerance. You have to ask what do you want out of life? Travel? Less work on home? And then say i am 72 years old (my mom), will i realistically live to 100? Probably not. And if I do what do I need? What do I want? How many more years of being able to walk and live independently do I realistically think I have?
July 16th, 2024 at 03:00 am 1721095248
As for the house/yardwork...maybe see if you had a regular gardener how much they would charge in relation to having a move...I don't hear good things about condos over there..and if you get bad neigbours you are stuck there....so do some research...may be able to stay in your property and still enjoy it but without all the work!!
Best of luck
July 18th, 2024 at 02:58 am 1721267936
I'm assuming you have pictures of the artwork of your mothers that you are giving away. As long as you have the memories, that's really what's most important, and meanwhile, her art will give others joy. Where would you mother want her art work? Hidden away in a stock in your spare bedroom or on display at someone's home?
July 18th, 2024 at 01:25 pm 1721305511
Sometimes just hearing what others thing puts things in perspective, in a very simple and direct way that seems to cut through all my agonizing and indecision (and groaning at the thought of having to pack everything up).
You all hit the nail on the head talking about whether I should move or not. A lifetime of frugality often gets in my own way when I'm trying to weigh pros and cons. You are right in every respect.I truly appreciate the feedback. It's giving me greater resolve to follow through on this.
July 18th, 2024 at 10:30 pm 1721338241
Yes, underspending is a RISK. Especially for someone who does not have heirs. People who have kids can focus on the import and meaning of providing for them (if their kids would need the money), but your risk is that you will cheat yourself of having the best life that you can under your particular circumstances.
This is decision-making under uncertainty. We don't know our longevity. We don't know our health-span, or whether we are going to need long-term care and if so, for how long.
I would make some kind of plan for potential long-term care needs, keeping in mind that your mother did end up needing custodial care at the end of her life and that both of your parents have some longevity. If you don't have any long-term care, you might consider getting a another annuity that has a long-term care rider that would pay LTC benefits if needed. There are also life insurance policies with long-term care riders (Lincoln Money Guard is one example), but since you aren't particularly concerned about leaving money for particular people, an annuity would probably be a better fit. You could learn a little more at https://smartasset.com/financial-advisor/long-term-care-annuity.
Other than having a plan for long-term care in place, you want to make sure that your guaranteed income (Social Security + annuities) will cover your essential expenses, and that you have a reserve fund set aside for future emergencies. Then your portfolio income can be used to cover discretionary expenses and you just adjust depending on market conditions--if the markets tank, then try to avoid taking from your portfolio that year (if you are over RMD age then just transfer monies from your IRA to your brokerage account). If the markets grow, add some to your liquid reserve and feel free to increase your discretionary spending.
The first 5 years of retirement are the riskiest--a big market drop in the 5 years before or after one retires has more of an effect on overall lifetime spending than drops that occur earlier or later. Rather than getting more conservative with age, modern planning suggests that, as long as you have protected yourself against downside risk, you can even consider investing more aggressively with age IF that is within your risk tolerance.
Consider taking the RISA (Retirement Income Style Awareness) questionnaire to hone in on your retirement "personality." https://risaprofile.com/morningstar/?utm_source=morning-star&utm_medium=referral&utm_campaign=free-risa. (I suspect your profile is similar to mine although you are more frutal than I am.)
July 19th, 2024 at 12:11 am 1721344288
I like the simplicity of the SPIA I have but also like the sound of possibly another annuity with a long term care rider (which I'd never heard of), so I will be doing some reading on that.
And yes, both my expected SS and my current annuity easily will more than cover my essential monthly expenses. I am not yet collecting the SS, though, for another 5 years. The annuity alone doesn't cover essential expenses, which I estimate at about $2500 monthly. If I move to one of those condos, that number would increase.
As to frugality, I am frugal when it comes to the smaller, everyday stuff, I am very willing to spend on bigger ticket items that I believe are quality, last a long time and provide key benefits. Like my heat pump water heater; I could have spent less on another electric one, but my research told me the heat pump version is much more energy efficient, and that is very true. I couldn't be happier with that decision. So I may not be so much more frugal than you!
And I am planning on a new vehicle next year and spending more than I need to if I was willing to go with a lesser brand or another car instead of an SUV. Along with the new vehicle comes much higher car taxes here in my state, along with higher car insurance. So this feels like a big splurge to me that will steadily depreciate every year but I'm going to do it anyway because I feel it will be safer, more comfortable and even more economical than my current Honda.
July 19th, 2024 at 06:33 pm 1721410425
I see frugality as really being more about the smaller, everyday stuff. When it comes to bigger expenses, like your heat pump or a new car, it fits with my idea of frugality to spend more on those up front, with the expectation that it will lead to lower expenses down the line.
People who are focused on spending less up front I see as "cheap" rather than frugal.
So that framing fits with our spending tendencies--I am more spendy and less cost-conscious than you on the smaller expenses. Of course, I'm finally earning 6 figures, so that gives me a litter more freedom too . Every year I increase my retirement savings but also make sure I can increase my spending a bit too. These days, instead of increasing the percentage contribution, I have started increasing the percentage that I contribute to my Roth 401(k) vs to my traditional 401(k), with the expectation that it will increase my current year tax bill a bit but lead to greater tax savings in retirement.