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Wierd bittersweet feelings

April 10th, 2016 at 04:47 pm

Today I went to a memorial service for my ex-boyfriend's mother, who died about a month before my mother. She also had dementia, but at 90, she outlived my mother by 9 years.

Because he invited me, I made a point to go. I was feeling kind of jittery about the whole thing because it's been 20 years since we were together and I knew I would know no one there. More importantly, I knew his wife would be there and most likely would not be pleased to see me.

The memorial was held in a beautifully renovated barn on the property of an Episcopal church in the beautiful wealthy countryside of North Salem, NY.

So, confession: this is the man I should have married.

Coincidentally, we both are writers, we both began our writing careers as journalists and we both have a parent (my mother, his father) who was a professional artist. His father was a pretty well known painter of horses and achieved quite a bit of success.

They were horse and dog people, they rode in local fox hunts, traveled widely, entertained a lot and lived a comfortable life that seems out of a story book somehow. And they stayed together.

Their son and I have remained friends. He introduced me to his wife and daughter, and while his wife shook my hand, she most definitely did not seem happy I was there. I told her i was sorry for her loss (it was her mother-in-law) and really didn't talk to her after that.

I enjoyed hearing R. speak at length about his mother, and then about 5 other people spoke, each one giving their unique perspective on the kind of person R.'s mother was.

They had some great o'douerves afterwards. I could never spell that word, but you know, SNACKS. I briefly sampled some of the food and then decided to quietly leave as I didn't want to make anyone super uncomfortable.

It was all kind of bittersweet and of course it made me think of my mother. More than that, it reinforced this feeling that a generation of people has passed, and that a new generation has taken their place.

Other news from this weekend, I sold quite a bit of yarn since Friday night and have a total of 5 packages to walk to the PO tomorrow on my lunch break. I love using the pick-up service where the USPS will come to your door for the packages, but I don't want the truck driving on my new asphalt, so for now I prefer to bring them to PO myself.

Here's some of the yarn i just sold.

I picked up another piece of framed art from area gallery and left another one for her to frame. I may not frame too many more. We chit-chatted for about an hour.

Today turned out to be a brilliantly sunny day and I REALLY have some yardwork to do, but didn't want to get all dirty prior to the memorial service.

Last night I made a cauliflower soup which also called for 4 or 5 cups of fresh spinach; instead, i used 3 small wads of frozen organic greens I wanted to use up, and i guess it was too much greens, cus after pureeing the soup it looks more like pea soup than cauliflower! It has no cheese or milk in it but instead I used a cup of cashews to thicken it up.

Today I stopped at Whole Foods on way home from memorial and picked up some goodies; i try to only buy things there that I won't find elsewhere, or else their house brand, which is cheaper.

Made a big salad for dinner and then walked around the block. In for the night.

5 Responses to “Wierd bittersweet feelings”

  1. creditcardfree Says:

    I went for a walk with my daughter around our neighborhood tonight. It is nice to get out.

  2. Jenn Says:

    It was nice of you to attend the service despite your discomfort. It must have been important to him for you to attend since you'd known his mom. I'm sure he appreciated it.

  3. LivingAlmostLarge Says:

    So what happened with him? The one who got away?

  4. PatientSaver Says:

    Oh, I was young and restless, and I thought I should be passionately in love, which I wasn't. We were very, very compatible but I didn't think he would ever ask me to marry him, and I was too proud to bring the subject up. So I left him, and that's when I bought my house.

  5. FrugalTexan75 Says:

    I love the picture of the yarn with the flowers - those colors all complement each other so well!

    That was really nice of you to go to R's mom's memorial service. I can imagine it was pretty strange though.

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