I got my new Citi Thank You Premier card today. Oh my gosh. You should have seen the fancy schmancy package it came in via Priority Mail. Talk about trying to make an impression.

Funny thing is, it bears a new circular design that I've been quizzed about as a citi online forum member. They wanted to know if I liked the card design but here it is, already produced and in circulation.

Of course, I will have to be careful to cancel this card (I can be rather lax in cancelling cards) before a year has passed so I don't get hit with the annual fee, waived for the first year.

I'm looking forward to earning my $500 in gift Cards by spendng $3,000 in 3 months. I have friend who like to help me do that by letting me pay for their bills and paying me back in cash.

Gas prices are low today. $2.49 a gallon. Heating oil is too, but with the new 150 gallon minimum, I'll have to wait til at least November to fill up, by which time prices will have probably risen as demand rises.

So my grandfather had 4 brothers. One of them, my late Uncle Tony, had a granddaughter about my age, and she's the one who came to visit my mother today with her friend.

When they arrived, my mother wasn't there. I was totally annoyed with Maplewood because last week I emailed the activities director and specifically asked her to make sure my mother wasn't taken on any shopping errands or other trips today because she had special, out of state visitors coming whom she hadn't seen in many years. The director wrote back and said absolutely, she will be here.

Except she wasn't. They had taken a group to Friendly's for lunch. As an aside, this means I'll be charged for that lunch despite the fact I'm already paying for her 3 meals a day at Maplewood. This doesn't make any sense to me when I'm paying $69,000 a year for her there!!!

Anyway, she eventually returned and had a very good visit with my mom at the assisted living place, from what my cousin told me.

They came here afterwards so she could pick out some art for herself. She also picked out some art for her 2 grandkids, which I couldn't really say no to, and then she asked if her friend could pick out some art. I was starting to feel a little put upon at that, but the friend did not pick anything out.

We did have a good visit and it was very nice to meet real "family" since I hardly have anyone outside of my immediate family. Both my parents were an only child, so it's just the siblings of my grandparents, whose children and grandchildren I can call family. And of my 4 grandparents, this is the only grandparent, my mother's father, that we even this tenuous connection to.

We promised to scan, copy and exchange some family photos and I invited her to come up again.

I was so annoyed with Maplewood that I once again began thinking about what it would take to have my mother live here. It would take a lot.

1. My mom has allergies; I would have to give up my 2 cats, which I don't think I could do.

2. I would have to renovate the downstairs bathroom and put in a shower so she could live on the main level, taking over my family room as her bedroom and using that bath.

3. I'd still have to hire an aide 8 hours a day to supervise her while I was at work. Even at a modest $20 an hour, which I think was around what I was paying before I put mom in Maplewood, that would come out to $41,000 a year vs the $69,000+ I'm paying now, so while yes, it would be cheaper, it would still cost quite a lot of money.

4. I'd have to defer my longheld plans to sell this place and buy a condo. Not to mention my total loss of privacy. Wouldn't make sense to buy a condo for 2 as I don't know how long I could care for my mom before she worsened and it got to be too much. Could be just a matter of a few years.

If I were going to do this, the time to do it would be sooner rather than later, if we assume I wouldn't be able to have mom living with me when she got worse with the Alzheimers. And of course, if i waited too long to do this, her money would be spent that much sooner.

In my heart, I feel it's not realistic and perhaps I'm just wishful thinking. I don't think it would work, if only because I don't have the mettle to be a full-time caretaker. I just wish there were other options.

Today's doings:
1. Sold 4 loom harness shafts to the woman who bought one of my mother's looms, for $75.

2. Visited a 2nd nursing home in the area on my lunch break but was disappointed to learn that if my mother's dementia got worse and she began to pose a danger to others (vis a vis agitation) or herself (by wandering) they would not be able to keep her there. I wish she'd told me that on the phone and saved me the trip. I don't think I'd move my mother to a facility if I knew there was a good chance I'd have to move her again. It would be too disruptive to her life to do that to her a 3rd time.

3. On the way home from there I stopped at the PO to mail another shipment of yarn to Boston, and stopped at 2 banks, my mother's and my own, to make 2 small deposits from yarn sales.

4. I calculated since May, I've raised $3346 by selling my mother's stuff.

The main categories are:
Yarns & accessories: $1331
2 looms: $1160
Car: $750
Miscellaneous household items: $105

I still have plenty of yarns and accessories to sell, plus her art.

Instead of discouraging myself by focusing on the meaninglessness of these numbers when compared to the $5850 monthly rent, I need to instead tell myself that these monies are still helping, by making it easier for me to manage the out of pocket expenses that really add up. Like, when I paid $531 to recarpet the 2nd staircase at the condo, I had to charge it to my credit card. Or the monthly bills from the pharmacy that come to about $50 a month.

I still feel undecided about how to handle her expenses. I've been toying with the idea of setting up a money market account dedicated to her expenses, and then contributing to it on a monthly basis. The idea would be that although it would be my money I'd be putting in it, if the account is dedicated to mom, when the money becomes a sizable amount over time, it will be easier for me to just apply it to her expenses rather than feel like I'm withdrawing large sums from my own (other) accounts.

It's more a psychological tactic than anything else. I'm afraid if I don't create a special account just for her expenses, I'll be less inclined to use my own money to pay for these expenses if the money's coming out of my regular accounts.

The whole exercise may be stupid. If I don't want to really impact my own savings plan, realistically, I probably wouldn't be able to contribute more than $500 a month to this account, and that only adds up to $6000 a year....again, a drop in a bucket. Which leads me to ask myself for the hundredth time, What's the point? $6,000 will buy my mother one extra month at the assisted living place. That's it.

My closest friends are of the mind that I should just relax about all of this and let things happen, put my mother in a nursing home when the time comes and let the state pick up the tab. Which will happen eventually, but it's hard to just not try to do anything to prolong my mother's time at the place she is now, since it is SOOO much nicer than any nursing home. The place I checked out today had a kind of homey feeling to it, but when it got to the rooms, it was about as institutional as they come, 2 to a room with only a curtain divider for privacy and looking very much like a hospital room. Precious little room for paintings on the wall or anything else.

Yesterday I had my meeting with the Social Security Administration, at their office, to officially apply to become payee of my mother's SS checks. I don't need to do this as the checks are already deposited into the checking account to which I had my name added a year or more ago, so I could pay my mother's bills from that account, but in order to update the mailing address on her monthly Medicare statements, they said this is what I had to do. Because it's all tied together. They will send a notice to her doctor, who has to agree my mother can't manage her affairs, and then I'll have to take that to her bank so they can set up a specially designated Payee account. With that paper in hand, I have to then return to the SSA office and it will be official. A lot of running around just to update a mailing address.

It will actually complicate things a little because since I will want to apply her SS checks to her rent, but since it won't cover all of it, I'll hav

Dear God, I hope I get an offer soon on the condo. Foot traffic through there seems to have quieted down this month, and we're just weeks away from back-to-school time, so it looks like any buyer that miraculously appears now will not be a family buyer.

Last night I was sitting in my sun room on a lounge chair watching TV. It was around 8 p.m. and I was absentmindedly scratching myself. A lot. After 15 or 20 minutes of scratching, when I figured maybe there was an insect on the lounge chair that bit me in multiple places, I stood up and realized I had red welts all around my torso, lower back, butt, upper leg. HIVES!

How the heck did I get that? I ate nothing out of the ordinary.

I popped an antihistamine pill that expired in 2009 and I woke up at 8:45 a.m. this morning! Yikes. Work starts at 8:30 a.m., even when I work at home. I scrambled to get the laptop running.

The hives are nearly all gone, although I do seem some welts (not red) on my stomach. This is a 24-hour antihimstame and I'm wondering if they're gone for good or will they come back?

But the bigger mystery is what caused this to happen?

I assume the allergic reaction will occur a few hours after eating whatever you're allergic to.

Unless this is a brand new allergy with 1st time reaction, I ate NOTHING I haven't eaten a thousand times before.

Around 5 pm I made myself a smoothie with almond milk, kale, banana and frozen wild blueberries. All things I've eaten before, even regularly.

Sometime after that, maybe around 6 or 6:30 pm, I made myself a salad made up of green lettuce, homegrown tomatoes, cucumber, a handful of walnuts, croutons and Paul Newman's creamy caesar salad dressing.

I would think the reaction, which occurred around 8 p.m., was for the 2nd meal I had around 6 or 6:30 pm. These are ALL foods I eat often, even every day when it comes to the salads.

The only other thing I can think of, based on my online research, is that it was cat dander. I was lying on the lounge chair which is covered with a cotton throw, and the cats do frequently lay on it. I was wearing shorts and t-shirt that i think may have been riding up a little as i lay there in a recumbent position. So part of my back was directly exposed to the cotton throw. The worst hives on me were top of my butt and lower back.

What do you think? I'm totally thrown by this. The only other time in my life when i had hives was about 5 years ago when i was overdosing on Andrographis, an herb I was taking, along with others, when i had Lyme disease.

This journey is just beginning, but I continue to be shocked and dismayed by mental changes happening with my mother.

Yesterday I mentioned to my mother that my dad (they've been divorced for years) was looking into back surgery because he's been in a lot of pain.

Today my mother called and mentioned that she was thinking of going to the wake with me. Somehow, her mind made the leap from Dad isn't feeling well to Dad is dead.

Frightening and disturbing. It's only just begun.

Hopefully her cousin from NJ will visit her this weekend as planned. It will likely be the last time they see each other.

The sound of rain gently falling around 5:45 a.m. made me realize with a start I'd left my rubber boots out on the front stoop, exposed to the sky. I also left my wheelbarrow full of weeds sitting out on the brick patio.

I already went through one wheelbarrow with legs that rotted because I'd left it outside one too many times. And they're not cheap. So I snuck outside in the dim early morning light to don the squishy boots and walk around back to dump the weeds and bring the wheelbarrow into the garage. Oh, I also left the garage door open last night.

That being done, I'm sort of "awake" now.

Didn't do a whole lot yesterday...let's see....In the a.m. I dropped off the final carload of miscellaneous art supplies (unassembled wood frames, sketch pads, hardware for picture frames, tracing paper, etc.) at the local middle school. There wasn't really enough here of any quantity to try to sell, so at least it went to a good home. Art supply-wise, I am left with about 25 16 x 20 glass panes (for picture frames) that the school won't take due to the likelihood of them breaking. And I can't ship all that glass, so will have to scout around for a local buyer. Like looking for a needle in a haystack.

After that, my dad came and we went to lunch together to take advantage of a birthday coupon from a local restaurant. We both enjoyed it. After that, we stopped by the wood stove store and spent a good amount of time there with the salesperson as my dad wants to install a wood-burning stove in his new apartment at my sister's. It'll run about $4,000 with installation.

Yesterday I also managed to sell my mom's old Singer sewing machine for $20 to someone I used to do editing for. She lives locally and will pick it up today. I had previously posted this on Facebook together with the beautiful cabinet my grandfather made and the drawers stuffed with sewing supplies, but no one seemed willing at that time to spend $90. I decided the cabinet was too nice to give away, so that's why I'm just selling the machine.

I also sold another smallish batch of yarn to an Illinois weaver, a few small cones and skeins, that will likely net me after postage and Paypal fees about $24.

Waiting on a check from a Boston weaver and her package is already packed up. Will net a little more from her, I think.

Trying to sell bits of yarn online can take a whole lot of time without a whole lot of payback, but I am making something and it does decrease my overall yarn inventory. I'm going to try a cone next, as I saw someone on the same site selling some rayon chenille for $15 + shipping.

Postage is really not cheap once you move beyond a 1-ounce letter, and I'm finding the tricky part is finding a box that perfectly matches the size of what you're shipping or you'll pay to ship air as they charge not only by destination but by overall size and dimensions.

Picked a few ripe tomatoes from the overlooked tomato plants, already dieing back from blight.

Discovered a small bag of frozen tomatoes left over from last year's garden, so I dethawed that and made a vegetable soup with it last night.

Oh, and one big accomplishment, yet seemingly so little, is I managed to stop procrastinating and OPENED the envelope I received a few days ago containing some medical records from my mom's visit to ER last May, in the seminal event that triggered her admittance to assisted living. I had wanted to appeal the denial of her claim for the EMS transport to hospital, which cost $665 without Medicare coverage. I realized that the reason they didn't deem it "medically necessary" was because that was the one time my mother called 911 because she had constipation.

However, looking over some of the doc notes and hospital discharge papers, they listed the diagnosis as atrial fibrillation, which my mother is on meds for. So it's worth a shot to make a copy of these documents and submit the appeal.

We really don't need that kind of big bill at all right now. How sad. My only consolation is that we shouldn't have that happen again since she's living at Maplewood and presumably they would only let her go for a true emergency. But anyway, it was very hard for me to address this all; i get so tired of paperwork and stressful administrative things like this and had to call the EMS people AND Medicare AND Maplewood (before I realized this occurred prior to my mom's admittance there..true to form, they never returned my call anyway, something I find truly, deeply disturbing because no matter who you're calling for what reason, they do this consistently.)

I got my delivery from HSN today and was pretty happy with getting 4 coloring books, plus 10 pencil colors, for about $20.

I like the images too. Here's the 1st one I've started:



It's kind of a flora/paisley design, although the position of the wheel-shaped circles at bottom right and top left make me think of a Harley every time I look at it.

There's enough detail here that it will probably take me a few weeks to do just this one image! I'm using colored pencils here but still plan to order fine-tipped magic markers. you can get a box of 100 for just $15 or so.

It's a little addictive. Several times I said, okay, I'm going to take a break and stop, but then I couldn't resist doing another section.

I can see how this could usurp reading books at night. I'd gotten into the habit of picking up several used books at a time at the weekly book sale at library in the city where I work. They're so cheap, some at .50, that I'm happy to read and then re-donate. And I like the designs so much I may yes, even frame them.

I'm psyched. Haven't brought them over to mom's yet although I did see her this morning.

I got the carpeting installed on the lower staircase and I'm glad I had it done. It looks so much better.

I also dropped off 4 pieces of art at a gallery about a half hour from here. We priced the large one at $400 and the smaller ones ranged from I think $65 to $125. I like the large one. It's a woven tapestry of the ocean and a few sailboats, and since we're near Lake Candlewood here, it seemed fitting to try to sell this during the summer months.

I picked up some groceries at the supermarket and made a double batch of breakfast granola this evening.

So tired, once again. It all catches up with me at week's end.

I just redeemed a pile of points on my last new card, the US Bank Flex Perks card. I got $250 in the form of a statement credit.

AND, I just applied for and was approved for my next card, the Citi Thank You Premier Card. You charge $3,000 in the 1st 3 months and get $500 back in gift cards.

I have to make sure to cancel this card afterwards as the $95 annual fee is waived for the first year only.

I wanted to have the card to use on my upcoming 2-night VACATION in Rockport. I can get my friend to let me charge his room expenses and his meals, etc., and he can just pay me back for everything. Then in October I've got my homeowner's and car insurance totaling over $1,000.

I committed to paying $531 to get the 2nd staircase at my mother's condo recarpeted. I'm paying more than I should have to because I foolishly overlooked this 2nd staircase when I had the rest of the condo done. I was stalling on doing it (though the carpeting looks SO ratty/disgusting) but my friend Dave, who previously owned a real estate brokerage, said just go and get it done...don't worry about the cost, in the grand scheme of things it matters very little. I suppose he's right.

So Empire is coming back to do it tomorrow a.m.; I have to wait around until they call to tell me when. Even thought they upped the price on me, they were still cheaper than the local mom and pop carpet places so i just swallowed my pride and called Empire back.

Dido who posts here put me in touch with a friend of hers who works for the Alzheimer's Assn. We've traded a few emails and today I received a care package from her that was really very sweet. It contained a little stuffed bear, an AA t-shirt, an AA ballcap, a book that has been recommended to me by several people called The 36-hour Day and a nice tote bag, all in AA's signature color purple. It's really heartwarming when you meet very caring and supportive people.

I just made lunch plans with my dad for this Monday, when I'm off from work. He is still living half unpacked at his new apartment at my sister's, but he won't let me help him because he feels he has his own way of doing things. I'm a great organizer. I would respect his stuff but he might be afraid I'd tell him what to do. Oh well.

For our lunch, I got a certificate in the mail from a local restaurant that somehow knows my birthday and they sent me a certificate good for $18 off an entree! It expires at the end of the month, so we'll go there, assuming they're open Mondays. If not, I also have gift cards worth $35 for Red Lobster. So dad won't pay either way!

Today was the quarterly get-together with the rest of our "team" in Massachusetts. This time we had our picnic at someone's home and it was a picture-perfect day.

Everyone is really super nice. However, I find these things SO incredibly exhausting. About 3 hours drive to get up there and 3 back and 5 hours at the picnic....way too long IMO, especially for an introvert.

I acquired a tension headache when we arrived. And I felt so wiped out on the car ride home, i mean, totally physically exhausted. I met some nice people and had pleasant conversations, but it always feels like a big effort for me. It takes me another 24 hours to recuperate from the driving, although I myself was not doing the driving. There were 5 of us in a rented Chevy Tahoe.

There was tons of food and also plenty of delicious food for a vegan. Volleyball and horseshoes and a beautiful pool no one went in becus we're all too self-conscious about our weight, I think.

I felt so much better as soon as I got home. Still very tired, but I just feel more myself when I get here, cuddling with the kitty cats and relaxing in my sun room looking out onto green trees and green grass and hearing the crickets singing.

I regret now ordering the coloring book set from HSN that I posted about earlier because since doing a search on Amazon there are dozens to choose from, many with their own theme such as gardens, animals, cats or mandalas. I put them all on my wish list. I'm also ordering from Amazon a 100-piece marker set.

I kicked myself for not asking my boss if I could work from home tomorrow, as most of those I rode with today are. One of them rides a ferry to get to work from Long Island, and her commute is especially long. I could have asked her at some point today, but I don't know, I always feel like I'm asking for a special favor, and I dislike doing so. So I'll schlep in tomorrow.

However, next week will be great because I'll have my usual Tues/Thursday at home PLUS Friday, becus Friday is the day our office moves down two floors in our building and we'll lose Internet access at the office at 3 p.m. So we can work at home that day. Plus my boss is out Thurs/Fri anyway. Even better, I have this Monday off. So I'll have a 4-day work week with 3 days at home. Yippee me.

Do you remember coloring in coloring books when you were a kid? I do, and I enjoyed it.

I was intrigued and very excited to see on HSN TV that they were selling coloring books for adults. The pictures were interesting and fairly intricate designs not meant for kids, and the kit of 4 coloring books came with a half dozen colored pencils (you could also use your own magic markers or watercolors) for about $20.

They were marketing it as a great way to de-stress, pass the time while you're waiting for your plane at the airport, etc. A nice alternative to a book, I think.

I thought it would be very peaceful to do this myself, as a way to relax, but I also was excited because I wondered if I could get my mother to do it.

As you know if you read my posts, she was a lifelong artist and given how passionate and dedicated she was to her art for such a long time, it has been shocking to me to see her show little if any interest in creating art now that she has dementia. Coloring books are simplistic, yet if I sat down and did it with her maybe i could get her to apply herself and enjoy it as well.

Then I did a search for "coloring books for adults" and found this interesting story in the Times from this past March. Seems we're onto a trend here....

http://www.nytimes.com/2015/03/30/business/media/grown-ups-get-out-their-crayons.html?_r=0

Today's my only work at home day this week since our team picnic (11-5, what a long day) is in Mass. on Thursday.

Here's what I got done so far:

1. A week ago I noticed something GROWING in my back gutter on the roof. Got the gutter guy to come out same day I called (today) and clean out the gutter. He showed me big handfuls of what could only be described as "mossy muck," which allowed said plants to begin sprouting. $120 but at least it's done.

2. My dad called and wanted to stop by on his bi-weekly trip to Jersey. When I opened my front door, he brought a bouquet of flowers for my birthday (sweet, dad and said, do you know there's a tree blocking your driveway? I looked, and lo and behold, a birch tree branch/trunk had come down in last night's thunderstorm. Dad and I both went at it with my 2 bow saws, but didn't quite finish it. He had a doc appt he couldn't be late for, so I urged him to go.

When the gutter guy drove up, he took the saw from me and finished cutting it so that at least my driveway is clear, I'll deal with the rest later.

3. I was able to sell a very small wood tapestry beater (looks like a comb) and after Paypal and shipping costs, netted $11 and change. I had only decided to sell that item on Facebook group because it was so lightweight and I knew it would be cheap to ship ($2.52) After receiving payment, I ran down on my lunch break to the PO.

4. I started the drawn-out process of appealing a medical claim denied by Medicare for my mother. It was a trip by ambulance to the hospital in May when she had an upper respirator infection, and they have paid her ambulance many times before, so I don't know why there was an issue this time. The bill is $665!!! I called and spoke to billing at her PCP's office and asked them to email me any doc notes, diagnosis from that date. He emailed me the medical release form which i signed and returned, along with a scanned copy of my POA form. Hopefully I'll get the actual medical records soon so I can send off the appeal to Medicare.

5. I did a load of laundry, specifically to have a certain outfit clean and ready to wear on my Thursday work picnic. I hung the laundry out to dry on my front stoop. I'll iron it all tonight.

This afternoon I still need to make my no-bake choco nut clusters for the picnic, load my car up for the landfill tomorrow a.m. on my way to work and ideally to get a call back from a 2nd nursing home so i can do a quick tour and get my mother on the wait list.

Also, importantly, I want to look at my mother's current asset allocation, not to try to reap any further earnings, but to protect her assets in case of a correction. It'll all be gone in 3 years, but until then, I want to make sure I don't lose any more in a market downturn.

My friend came down today and took me to lunch to celebrate my birthday early (it's tomorrow) at the German restaurant that's across the street from my mother's assisted living place. I had goulash, which was pretty good, and he had the sauerbraten. After that, we stopped in to see my mother, which was nice, although my friend, perhaps understandably, was ready to go after about 40 minutes. I usually stay much longer.

My friend also brought me a hanging basket of pretty pink impatiens he grew from seed. I will try to overwinter them as he said he's done it many times, and I know how easy it is to propagate them from little clippings, which I'd like to do this week as there's still plenty of summer left.

I had time before and after my friend came to do some much needed weeding on the back brick patio. Crabgrass is the worst to pull out from cracks between bricks, let me tell you.

In fact, the whole back area is in dire need of attention. At least I made a significant dent in the weed situation but if I don't stay on top of it, all will be swallowed up whole.

I noticed while I was back there that I have weeds growing in the roof gutter! I'll have to hire a guy to hose down whatever debris has collected in there, which it shouldn't have since i have screens on the gutters.

This evening I also made my lunch for tomorrow at work: I cut up fruit for a fruit salad, put some of my peach and wineberry crisp in another container, and then put some cooked basmati rice with white kidney beans in another container with a cilantro olive oil dressing over it. That's quite filling because i used a full can of beans plus one of those little Seeds of Change packets of rice which you can heat up in the microwave, oh so conveniently. Rice and beans is probably one of the healthiest meals you can eat; I'm trying to fit in more legumes in my regular diet.

Oh yes, and for my thermos, I prepared a pitcher of cold water with a half cup of lime juice (2 limes), 2 packets of Stevia and a half cup of fresh mint leaves, all to steep overnight, resulting in an amazingly refreshing beverage tomorrow and through the week.

So I got a few things done but at a leisurely pace today.

This Thursday is our annual "team outing" with others we work with in one of our Massachusetts offices. a group of 5 of us will be renting a van to ride about 2 hours to the home of someone in the group where we'll have our daylong picnic. Not especially looking forward to it; I don't interact with any but 2 of these people and it will be a big group of 50 or so. After about a half hour I'll be ready to head home but it's basically an all-day thing. And it takes place on one of my work at home days, so I'll only have one work at home day this week

No yarn sale activity this weekend though I did trade messages with a weaver here in town. She sounds very busy so I'm not sure if she will ever get over here, which is my hope. Also this week I will post a small weaving comb for sale; it's lightweight so should be easy to ship for $3 or less. I'll ask $12 for the wood comb.

I'm preparing to apply for another bonus credit card mid-month in August. The timing will be such that I can charge the remainder of both my friend's room and my own for a planned 2 night stay in Rockport, Mass, so I guess about $500. Then I can charge both my car and homeowners insurance in October so that will get me well on the way to charging $3,000 to earn the rewards. It's the Citi Thank You Premier Card and I would earn $500 in gift cards. I don't think I"ve ever had this card before, but I did have the Citi Thank You Preferred, which i THINK is a different card.

...that's what the chimney cleaning company hired by my mother's property management association is.

All the residents got notices saying you MUST get the mandatory chimney inspection and if they decide it needs cleaning, it's $89. Never mind that my mother never used the fireplace in 15 years; the insurance company still requires a biannual inspection.

Fine. So I scheduled it for Sat. July 18. Of course, they give you a 3-hour window during which time they will show up. My window was 12 to 3 p.m. She said they'd be there closer to noon than 3. So i got there at 11:30 a.m. and waited til 3:05. They never showed. I stayed busy most of the time as I was still emptying out my mother's lower level, but this still totally annoyed me.

I called them twice during this window and got their machine. I called them the following week, leaving messages and my phone number. I called the property management company and he said unfortunately, all the inspections have to be done by this weekend, so we'll have to "tag team" "Jenny," meaning he would call her and I should call her. He said there were 4 or 5 people they didn't get to. Jenny said I was the only one they didn't get to. Which is it? Who knows.

When she finally called me back, instead of apologizing for the no-show, it was one excuse after the other and I caught her in all her lies. She said she returned each one of my phone calls. That was baloney, and she said, yeah, the phone number we have for you is.... and she gave my mother's old number, which was disconnected 2 months ago, so she couldn't have left me any messages. I also explained that if she listened to the recording it would have given my phone number as the forwarding phone number. Never mind that I gave her my phone number each time I called anyway.

She also said someone came during the appointed time, knocked but no one answered. Again, not true since I was here hauling things out to my car the whole time.

Could they not have made a 30-second phone call to me when they knew they wouldn't make it?

So anyway, we scheduled a 2nd visit for them to come today from noon to 3 p.m. And guess what happened???? They failed to show AGAIN. They wasted 6 hours of my time now!! I have so many more important things to do than sit around an empty condo waiting for someone to show up.

I left an angry message with property management. I am NOT waiting for another 3-hour window. How rude and inconsiderate. I wonder what their excuse will be this time.

Aside from that, I made a deposit into my mother's checking account, got a new leather band for my watch, got some ink cartridges for my printer at Staples and picked up more free shipping supplies at a post office branch. Also did some mulching and weed-pulling both at home and in front of my mother's unit as weeds had taken over.

I realized I haven't really talked all that much about my vegan ways.

It's a work in progress. It's not unusual for me to stray from strictly vegan, most always when I don't have time to cook and I'm eating out, OR when I'm so hungry at work and either I didn't bring my own lunch or I did, but I'm still hungry. So then I wander down to the cafe and wind up getting something with meat or cheese in it.

Still, I eat healthier than 95% of people I know. Here's what my typical diet might look like:

Breakfast: Almost always cereal, my half and half combo. That means I fill half the bowl with a store-bought cereal, always something healthy like Barbara's or very simple and low sugar, like Cheerios or corn chex. I especially like Uncle Sam's whole wheat cereal. The other half is my homemade granola, which I've been making regularly for years. It's made of old-fashioned oats, flax seed, which I grind up from whole seeds in my little coffee grinder, a heaping tablespoon or two of cocoa powder (you get the flavonoids of dark chocolate without the calories) a bit of honey, raisins or other dried fruit and walnuts, baked in the oven. But wait, there's more. I always top off the cereal with almond milk and berries. In July,when the wineberries ripen in my yard, I pick my own berries, but most of the time it's blueberries, raspberries or blackberries, organic when I find them or feel I can afford it. Organic blueberries are ridiculously priced so I usually just get regular.

Lunch: I have about 15 or so regular recipes I use to make my bring-to-work lunches. One of my favorites is pea soup with parsnip, celery and its leaves and celery root and carrots too. Mmmm. In the summer, I make a cold pea soup which is also very good (mom's recipe, and it's her granola recipe as well). What i like about the cold pea soup is that you cook nothing so you don't heat up the kitchen. The frozen peas don't really need to be cooked, just like frozen corn.

Other workday lunches often include carrot and celery sticks with a small container of hummus (garlic hummus is my favorite). I love to make my own baba gounsch, which is a pureed eggplant in the blender with garlic, tahini and lemon juice, which you eat with very good bread or pita or with veggie sticks. I have a lot of good cold salad recipes, like pasta shells and sun-dried tomatoes, a wheat berry salad and another favorite, black beans and sweet potatoes with a cilantro dressing. I nearly always bring fresh fruit or a homemade fruit salad as well and sometimes a granola or fruit bar.

If I'm working at home, I like to keep Amy's frozen bean burritos on hand so I can heat them in the microwave. Either that, or I'll have a frozen veggie burger. Sometimes, it's as simple as almond butter and preserves on wheat toast.

Dinner:For dinner, this time of year I often have a huge salad with tomatoes, cucumber, avocado, walnuts, sunflower or pumpkin seeds, croutons and as a treat, a chopped up hard-boiled egg, only from the organic farm. (I realize this isn't vegan.) In cooler weather I'm back to soups like the split pea soup, corn chowder soup, my own veggie soup, etc.

I really don't miss sweets that much. Not too long ago I was eating small pieces of dark chocolate daily, but I don't especially miss it. I'm not much of a cake person, but if I do crave something sweet, I like to have fresh fruit or make something with fruit in it. I do eat a LOT of fruit, maybe too much. This afternoon, for instance, I made a crisp using sliced organic peaches, a bowl of wineberries and blueberries with the oats and walnuts. Much like my morning cereal except this is baked in the oven.

I don't eat much bread, and in recent months I feel I'm eating a lot less oil. I used to cook with a lot of olive oil, which would be the only kind I'd use if I am using oils, but this also will put the weight on you. I love to saute onions in olive oil, for instance.

The one bad habit I haven't been able to break is my love of pasta. Maybe it's the reason why i haven't lost much weight. I'm at about 140 lbs now at 5'4". Not hugely overweight, but not too thin either. I love pasta with a red sauce, a homemade pesto sauce and in cold salads. I'm not crazy about whole wheat pastas. I like the regular. And I could eat it every day.

I also snack a lot on nuts. This is high fat but I won't give it up. And it's the good kind of fat anyway. And as mentioned I do eat eggs, but only from the organic farm down the road.

As far as the vegan part, the only fish I'm allowing myself to eat is the very occasional shrimp and broccoli at the Chinese place on a Friday night and wild Alaskan sockeye salmon. I do my best to avoid eating beef, poultry and cheese.

Another thing I still crave, but only splurge on once every few weeks, is a can of diet Coke. I swear they do something to make it addictive, becus I've gone without it for many months and still felt a craving for it. Nothing refreshes like it, IMO. I crave it just thinking about it now. I won't buy it for home, but I do from time to time get one from the vending machine at work. And to think I didn't drink my first can of soda til i was about 15 years old, at my best friend's f

I had great success yesterday selling yarns online.

I decided to expand my outreach toward area fiber arts guilds to nearby Westchester County. I came up with the names and contact info for a few guilds and inadvertently sent one email to a textile group located in New York City, which is way too far away (1.5 hrs), I imagined, for anyone to pay me a visit simply to buy some yarn.

Well, someone from that group did contact me the day she received the email about my yarns, and she asked to come up that very day. She drove all the way from BROOKLYN with her girlfriend and went nuts here, spending $328 on assorted yarn cones. Although I have to shake my head, don't people know better than to show up when you're buying something from a stranger without cash?? She did, and I would not accept a check (no way, no how) so she had to find a local bank and return. Which she did.

You could hardly tell any yarns are missing from my house, that's how many i still have. And the Brooklyn woman thought my prices were great, never mind that I had just hiked them from what I priced them at before, based on advice I got from some area weavers who, it turned out, had me price them way, way lower than they should have. They suggested pricing them at $1 or $2 a cone; I wound up originally pricing them at $2 and 4 a cone, I believe, but since then I priced them between $4 and $12 a cone, depending on size.

In addition, I also on Tuesday sold about 50 yarn tubes to fiber people on a Facebook destash site. In hindsight I also priced them way too low, at $5 each and a split of shipping costs, so even though I was selling these in groups of 4 only, to take advantage of a flat ship rate of $5.25, I only netted about $16 per box after ship and paypal fees on each foursome shipped, and I had 11 customers to deal with, all of whom wanted different colors.



I had no idea people would be so interested in these cute little yarn tubes, and I didn't have much success researching prices as this company, like so many, went out of business. People were responding online left and right, I had to keep sending paypal invoices out and then they would pay, then i had to pack up the right colors, sometimes i ran out of different colors and had to dialogue with them about substitute colors, oh my gosh it became so stressful. Then had to print out USPS ship labels, schedule PO pick-ups from my home and as it turned out, USPS screwed up and did NOT pick up 4 boxes from the front door today even tho they were here to drop off shipping supplies I'd ordered online and even tho I spoke to the mail woman and said YES I will have more shipments this week. Now I'll have to call them tomorrow to make sure they pick up.

It was all rather stressful and all told, my net profit from this learning experience was only about $180.

Yarns are generally lightweight so you wouldn't think they would cost much to ship, which is true, I think, as long as you can ship more than 1 or 2 at a time to make it worth your while. Becus the PO bases shipping charges on both weight AND the size of the package, so if you can't stuff your contents in a fairly small-sized box, you'll still get stuck with sizeable shipping charges. Which tells you why their "small" flat rate box is very, very small. It measures only about 8 inches by 5 inches. There's not much you can fit in that. Roving, which is feather light, would be easier to ship because you could fit it in an envelope.

There was one unpleasant woman who I spent a long time with helping her decide about colors, yada yada yada and she said she wanted to buy them but she didn't pay right away and hours later i sent a query, no answer....waited all afternoon and into the next day and finally, annoyed, I sent a note saying she wasted my time, she could have just told me she changed her mind, to which she replied that she wanted a refund (!!), to which I replied but you NEVER paid me, dingbat (i didn't use that word but i was thinking it) and now she's wailing that she's had problems with paypal before and she used some sort of prepaid credit card and she wants a refund, to which I replied I NEVER GOT any payment from you in any shape of credit card, debit card or paypal account.

I broke my own rule of not holding yarns for anyone unless they paid, and she was the only one I held these for, I guess becus she really seemed to want them. Anyway, I think I need to pick which yarns to advertise on this site next more carefully, based on my knowing what the fiber is (most of my mother's yarns are unlabeled) and what its true value is, and also, what's the most efficient way to ship it.

I prefer using the USPS Priority Mail flat rate boxes (they have small, medium and large sizes) becus it's one rate and you don't have to weigh it. My sense is that these flat rate boxes would make the most sense for faraway destinations like the west coast to limit my expenses, but for destinations up or down the east coast, I would probably do better to pay by weight. You can still print out your ship receipt and schedule home pick-up of your box online, but if you underestimate shipping, delivery will be messed up. I had been using my kitchen scale, but I did order an official, digital postal scale so all should be more accurate moving forward.

Plus I can tell the buyer upfront what the shipping will be once they give me their zipcode. The small box, as mentioned, is $5.25 to ship anywhere in US, but it is really very small and certainly you couldn't fit any kind of yarn cone in there. The next size up is more than double the cost, and the size up after that even more so.

I hadn't really planned on getting into shipping yarns as it does so obviously cut into my profits, but I would like to selectively post certain items and see how they do. My yarn tubes generated a TON of activity and I could barely keep up with the reply posts. OMG.

It is SOOOO hot and humid here on CT. Relief tomorrow afternoon, hopefully, after some storms roll in. I'm working at home tomorrow; not sure if that's a blessing or a curse, with this heat. Today I locked the cats in the basement before I left for the office becus they don't really seem to know to voluntarily go down there when it gets this hot. Of course, they didn't know I wanted them in the basement so I had to chase them around and round until they finally went down there to escape from me.

I'm continuing to "negotiate" with my friend how we will spend 3 days having fun. I'm not especially interested in sharing dog-sitting responsibilities. Hopefully we can not only get thru this with our friendship intact but actually enjoy ourselves as well.

It's 7:30 a.m. and we're having a thunderstorm. Strange. This was to be the day I do some gardening, and I'm so glad I started doing some of it yesterday, because today will obviously be a washout.

Yesterday's doings:
I weeded my very overgrown and neglected veggie garden, which only has 3 tomato plants and 3 squash plants which have yet to bear a single fruit. I get a lot of flowers on the squashes, but all male and no female that need to be pollinated.

I bought another bag of chopped hay in a bag and spread that over the area where I weeded to keep the weeds down and allow me to walk in there.

I also mostly weeded a perennial bed on the slope in front of my house. I got to a low-growing shrub, I forget what it's called, and as I weeded close to and under it, I jostled the shrub and several insects flew out. I couldn't quite see what they were but worried that they could be ground hornets, so I avoided the area. Then I started thinking about it again and figured it could be any number of insects, not necessarily the stinging kind, so I returned to weeding...cautiously...in the area. Out flew more insects again and this time, I saw that they were indeed hornets/wasps. So I was unable to finish weeding that area. Hmph.

I picked more wineberries and froze some earlier in the week. I would have liked to freeze more today, as I have more than I can eat, but it's way too humid now for them to dry after rinsing.

I did a bit of grocery shopping. I went to the hardware store to get another key made for my mother's condo becus a visiting realtor dropped the key outside in between a concrete stoop and side of condo and could not retrieve it. I have to drop the key off today after seeing my mother.

I also stopped at the healthy pet food place.

Also went to hospital first thing for skin cancer screening and was relieved to learn I don't have skin cancer on my face. There was a little spot, not a mole exactly but a raised surface that wasn't there before and didn't look right. She said it actually was quite common and I could have it frozen off if I wanted. Which I may do so.

I also shipped out $200 worth of yarns to the woman I told you about, stopping at the PO and paying $13 for shipping, which the woman kindly paid for. It should arrive there Monday and hopefully her check, which I already deposited, won't bounce. I think it will be okay.

Also deposited close to $500 in mom's checking account.

I finished reading 50 Shades of Gray. I'd seen the used book at the library in city where I work, in their weekly book sale, and decided to spend the $3 to see what all the fuss was about. It annoyed me that the woman at the desk made discouraging remarks about the book, and I knew enough about it to know she disapproved of the sexual content. I ignored her comments and was tempted to say something about censoring book purchases of patrons, but decided not to.

I can see why this book got so much attention as the plot totally revolves around the sex life of the main character and "Grey." I saw at the same book sale that they also had the 2 sequels to this book but wasn't sure I needed to read about yet more cataclysmic orgasms. I think I got the gist of it.

Today's doings:
Today I'm scheduled to view a "lifestyle suite" at the assisted living place; afterwards I'll see my mother. There's a wait list for the lifestyle suites and they often go to married couples. If you're not part of a couple, you have to make sure the 2 people sharing the suite are compatible and that both families want it. A lot of hurdles there but I have to at least look into it as a way of saving money ($750/mth).

Also need to stop at Wal-Mart, do the paperwork for Masonicare wait list, mail the physician's portion of the application to my mother's PCP and make some sort of lunch for work tomorrow.

It's Friday.

So with the yarn sales to 2 different people this week, I will be able to deposit about $475 in my mother's account tomorrow.

I discovered that the supposedly well meaning advice I got as to pricing from 2 different weavers was way, way low. Yes, I told them I wanted to get rid of it fairly quickly, but they also knew I wanted to put the money toward my mother's care. They said well then price the cone yarns at $1 or $2 each for the small ones, maybe $3 each for the big ones, or sell a whole bag of them for $30.

No wonder the 5 or so women who have come here to buy have bought so much at a time. Because they were getting an unbelievable deal!

One weaver I sold to suggested I try selling at a Facebook site where people sell yarns. I checked out the prices there and was astonished to find cone yarns like i was selling for $3 going for $30 online!

One problem is I don't know what materials they all are, or where they were purchased, but I want to start out posting something on the site this weekend that has labels and see how it goes. I do have a Paypal account so that would eliminate a lot of delays and nervousness about whether someone would pay or if a check was good. I can just sell a little each week and not drive myself nuts with it. I think I have a small fortune in yarns here and I don't want to give anymore away at ridiculous prices.

I'm really a little annoyed at the advice I was given. I'm sure it was well-intentioned, but I had no inkling of the true value of these cone yarns.

In other news, Patient Saver is GOING ON VACATION. Not til early September and only for 2 nights because Waldo shouldn't go any longer than that without his twice daily meds. He would not take meds from any other human than me, and I don't want to separate the cats the entire time I'm away, although that would make it easier to put the meds in his food and then know he would eventually eat it.

I'm going with my platonic friend Ron and I booked us separate rooms in the same motel in Rockport, Mass. It's oceanfront and is $205 a night. For him it will be a little bit more because he won't leave his dog alone so the dog is extra.

I got my neighbors to agree to feed the cats each of the 3 days I'm gone. I could leave an entirely dry food diet out for them but it could attract bugs and also Luther gets constipated when he eats too much and then skoots his butt on the floor, which is majorly gross. I can't reasonably ask the neighbors to come twice a day, though, so I will have them leave canned food, to be supplemented by dry food to nosh on. Or maybe I would skip the dry entirely and have her leave 2.5 cans out each day, which is what they normally consume.

Anyway, I am SO psyched to get away. It will do me wonders. I just hope I can get along with my friend without any major issues. Already I am annoyed with him because he insists on bringing the dog with him and just after I confirmed with him I'd made the reservations, he made a comment about his maybe wanting to have me dog sit the dog for a bit if he wants to go do something. NO, I DONT want to dog sit your dog on my short and precious vacation. It's his decision to bring it and already I know I'll have to put up with the dog standing on my lap (butt in my face) the whole ride up and back, becus this dog has never been trained or crated and only has eyes for my friend. It was never properly socialized and mostly ignores other people. If I'm with my friend and his dog and my friend leaves for some reason, the dog gets all anxious and totally oblivious to everything but my friend and the direction he's disappeared in.

I may decide to sit in the back seat just so i don't have to deal with the dog standing on my lap. I like animals, but this one, as I said, was not properly socialized in my opinion.

Here's more art for Kiki and others who may enjoy seeing some of these... These are just representative samples.

My mother's passions were weaving and painting (although she also did photography). She found a way to combine these two loves by creating what she called "woven paintings." She would paint on canvas first, then cut up the painted canvas into horizontal or vertical strips which she then wove back together on the loom. Galaxy and Origami in Flight below are good examples of this technique.

If you see anything you like, let me know and I can give you a little more info on it, like the dimensions, title if not shown here (not all are labeled) and medium, price. I apologize in advance for my poor photography skills.


2 matted waterfalls


Woven tapestry (behind plastic)


Bedlam at Sea, there are all sorts of sea creatures embedded in the netting




Galaxy (behind plastic)


Leaving the Weaving


Mountains, River, 2 Sails & Sun (matted)


Origami in Flight


Posies in Tall Vase


Regatta


Sacred Door


Sails & Gulls


Smooth Sailing on the Lake


The Model

A woman stopped by after work tonight with her husband (drove 40 minutes to get here in rush hour traffic) and bought $263 worth of yarn!

I'm gratified that people are buying it. I seem to have a very high ratio of # of people told I have yarn for sale and # of people who buy something. But finding weavers and knitters is the more challenging part of this equation.

I've been in touch with a number of weavers' and knitters' guilds.

Most of the money will go into my mother's checking account, but I know she also needs some spending money, so I'll give her a small amount, like $20. She's been on a kick lately of wanting to buy an iron (NO) or a small fridge (NO) so I don't want to give her enough to do that.

I will go over there this weekend with an iron and iron all the clothes in her closet in one shot so she stops asking about it. I also really want to see a lifestyle suite.

Sorry, I know I talk about all this stuff incessantly. I've been on this site for years now; years ago I would do the same when I thought of nothing else but dating and finding Mr. Right; later, when I was laid off, all I ever talked about was finding a job and doing freelance work and finding ways to save money.

Here are some pix of the yarns I'm selling, which, like mom's art, are so nice to look at.













Tomorrow I work at home again. Yippee.

After paying 2 months worth of bills from assisted living in the neighborhood of $5300 each, I got the shock of my life when I got this month's bill for over $8,000.

They seemed to have caught up with the fact that I wasn't being charged their $400 a mth medication management fee, and so they socked it to me this month with $1200 worth of their stupid, outrageous fee. Keep in mind my mother takes ONE medication, which they hand to her twice a day. For this I will pay $400 a month.

I had noticed I wasn't getting billed for this in the 1st month but chose not to say anything.

Oh well. So instead of the bonanza $5300 a month cost, it's really $5750. That's $5300 for "rent," $400 for med management and $50 for the phone, plus any miscellaneous activity fees.

Do you know how much stress bills like this are causing me? A great deal. My sister is wholly uninvolved. They only give you 2 weeks to pay the bill, so I have to always make sure I've made a transfer from her brokerage account to her checking account a week ahead of time to ensure the money's in the account.

After talking with 2 good male friends, I've come to a decision, one that won't be easy to implement but which is essential to my own well-being.

Instead of driving myself nuts over every dollar spent, for my own sanity I'm trying to reach a state of acceptance, and what will be, will be. No doubt in a few years' time the state will take over my mother's care. I just don't know what kind of mental shape my mother will be in at that time; right now, she would be extraordinarily upset and very likely view me as having utterly betrayed her by putting her into a nursing home. (Never mind she put her mother in a nursing home years back.)

Aside from her mental difficulties, my mother does not appear to need to be in that kind of setting. For 81, she's in very good shape, walks well and dresses quite well and is most of the time a peach to deal with, at least for short visits. At the same time, I know there is no way I could live with her.

My friends have urged me to fully reimburse myself for out of pocket expenses for mom because if my mother's alive in a few more years, a nursing home is inevitable, so there's no need to spend my own money, is their reasoning. I understand it, but it IS hard when it's your mother and you'd like to shield her from the cold, institutional setting that most nursing homes are.

There are only 3 real ways to generate big money savings that would affect how long my mother could stay where she is instead of go to a nursing home. Unfortunately, I had to rule out one of them today.

1. VA Benefits: I was able to dig thru legal papers of my mother's 3 divorces and determine that she was married less than 10 years to husbands #2 and 3. My dad, husband #1, said he believed they were married for 12 years, which would make my mother eligible for substantial VA benefits if she were still married to him. The divorce makes her ineligible.

2. A roommate: I could save $750 a month in the rent if my mother shared a "lifestyle suite" with another resident. The 2 obviously would need to get along. My mother hasn't really connected with anyone there, but lately she has been on this thing where she keeps saying she wants a small fridge. Never mind that they serve 3 meals a day in the dining hall. I wouldn't get it for her except that I might be able to use the lure of a fridge and small kitchenette (sink, fridge and cabinets, no stove) to get her to share some living space with someone. I don't know if she'd go for it; she really likes her privacy. But i believe with the suites they have their own bedrooms but share a bath if I'm not mistaken. I am trying to see a suite to see if i could picture my mother living there, and if so, to show it to my mother. This could be a long shot but it's one of the very few things that could really save some money.

3. The only other option would be for me to suspend my plans, decades in the making, to retire in 4 years, at age 60, and continue working solely to pay for the assisted living which currently costs $69,000 a year. I'm not sure what I net now making $81,200, but it's less than $69,000, and I need at least $25,000 a year to pay my own current expenses. And assisted living will raise their rates 5% or so next year, they told me, plus when she deteriorates due to the disease, they will start billing me more for her care as well. Still, working a year or two (i thinkt hat's all i could stand) beyond age 60 could inject sizable and much needed money infusions into my mother's account.

Doing something like this, against the advice of well-meaning friends, would require long, hard thought. I wouldn't be jeopardizing my own retirement, becus by that time I should be pretty close to my own savings goal and I don't intend to withdraw from savings, only divert current earnings toward her bills.

I'd be interested in hearing your opinions on whether I should do something like that.


Here is a painting of a waterfall my mother did that is going on exhibit (and sale) at a local spa. Think restful and relaxing. Actually, my mother, a longtime weaver AND painter, did many things like this called "woven paintings," where she was able to blend her two passions into one by first painting on canvas, then cutting the canvas into horizontal or vertical strips, then weaving them back together again on the loom. The result was a unique three-dimensional effect like you see here.

I've pretty much wrapped up dialogue with another yarn buyer. I'm excited that she's buying over $200 worth of my mother's yarn! It's all boxed and ready to go; I just will wait to get the check in the mail and ideally delay a day or two in shipping it to make sure the check doesn't bounce.

I have been selling the yarn piecemeal; most weavers I find are very interested in it and so I've done fairly well considering I've only had a few people buying.

On Thursday, my next work at home day on my lunch break I will be zipping over to local nursing home for a quick tour and then to do the paperwork to get on their wait list, which is over a year long.

Although mom still has money to pay for assisted living, it will be spent down fast, and when we get to about $30,000 left is when I will need to start seriously considering calls from the by then 2 or 3 nursing homes whose wait lists I'm on. They will contact you periodically when a bed opens up. You can take it or pass (you don't lose your place on the list), but since it's totally random when beds become available (when people die) you have to make sure you don't wait til all money is gone. Ideally, you go to the nursing with your $20,000 or $30,000 left, you pay a few months for the nursing home out of pocket and then when you get down to $1,600, Medicaid starts picking up the tab. Nursing homes, becus they have skilled nursing, are even MORE expensive than assisted living, which really boggled my mind when I learned that.

I just can't see my mother in a nursing home and shudder to think about it. But who knows with the Alzheimer's how she'll be like in 3 years?

This will be my first full week of Tuesdays/Thursdays at home. I realized with delight just now that with this new schedule I will only have to go into work for 1 day at a time, then I will work at home. At times in the past, the work week just drags on so long, but the work at home days will really change that, as I can get so much stuff done that usually is all bunched up to do on my weekends. I really hope this extra time in my life will make me more sane, less anxious.

Several good friends have told me I'm worrying too much about taking care of my mother. All the what ifs, and what i still feel is worst case scenario, what if we run out of money in 3 years and i have to put her in a nursing home.

It's been pointed out to me that, assuming she's still alive in 3 years (she's only 81 now but she does have AZ), that a nursing home will be inevitable, so all the angst and stress I feel saving a few dollars here or there, or not reimbursing myself for the hundreds out of pocket spent on her each month, is really all for naught. Because once her assets are spent down to $1600, the state will take care of all her needs. So my friends both said go ahead and reimburse yourself for legitimate mom expenses.

Intellectually, I know this to be true, though of course when it's your mother, you can't stand the thought of moving her from the oh-so-comfortable Maplewood with its locally grown food and private room and bath to a shared room with institutional gray walls and absolutely no privacy.

But I need to stop imagining what will happen 3 years from now and just Let. It. Be. Otherwise, I'll just worry myself sick.

So I'm trying to do just that, even while I plan to pursue 2 cost-saving options for my mother: VA benefits if I can document she was married to my father, a vet, for 10 years (I have to call the county courthouse in NJ) and a possible roommate situation in a so-called "lifestyle suite" at Maplewood where i believe you still have a private bedroom but the bath is shared.

In the meantime, I was absolutely SHELLSHOCKED to get a monthly bill Friday from Maplewood for $8,000, not the $5300 I'm used to paying. I have to call them tomorrow; I DO hope this was a mistake.

Looking at the big picture, these could be the best days my mother has left. I don't know how quickly she will deteriorate, but she seems to be in much better shape than many other residents at her place. She still dresses with care, always thinking to put on a colorful scarf (AC on at her place) or chunky beaded jewelery to throw a look together, and she always looks casually elegant.

I have been taking her on occasional little trips now that the condo is mostly emptied out and the place is listed. She enjoyed the trip to a local garden nursery, especially petting the cat lounging on the counter. She also enjoyed the ice cream cone at Friendly's, our trip to Target and the trip up to a local gallery where she is very friendly with the owner. There is a Japanese garden I took her to years ago, I think, that I would like to visit again, but it's better to go on a weekday. Anything related to music, art or animals is a sure hit with her.

Otherwise, progress in selling her art, yarns and weaver accessories is excruciatingly slow, becus I'm basically inviting select interested weavers/knitters over to the house, one at a time, when I find them.

My big plan to have several weavers stop by here on their way home from a regional weavers conference in Mass. was a big bust; nobody responded to the flyer they put up for me there.

Today a knitter from the office stopped by and wound up buying $165 worth of yarns, a warping board and an old weaving book. I was delighted she was in a such a spendy mood. And she gave me a few inches of square space back in my living room. So I believe she was the 3rd yarn buyer here.


My office friend bought this jute, with the basket, for just $40. I love the colors.







She even also expressed interest in buying one of my mother's smaller pieces. I wasn't sure about the price but then told her $50. She didn't have that much more cash anyway so she couldn't buy it, so I sure hope her desire to buy it doesn't fade away once she gets home. In hindsight, so as not to lose the sale, I should have urged her to take it home and pay me for it at the office. DARN.

There's another potential weaver/buyer in CT, but a good 2 hours away, but her son's wedding next month comes first. She may be able to stop by on the way home. Another woman from the same weaving group is also interested, but is going to the Cape for all of August. (Green envy)

I've been talking to my friend about a quickie 2 night getaway, maybe to Rockport, Mass. We wanted to go in August, as I already planned a week off then, but most places are already booked. We started talking about this way too late. However, there are plenty of rooms at this one oceanfront motel in early September, so I may push back my vacation yet again.

I called my vet and he said it would be okay if Waldo had to go without his meds for 2 days...but not any longer. I can probably get my neighbor to come feed them, but she won't be able to administer the meds.

The wineberries have finally ripened. I only picked a quarter cup 2 nights ago but I plan to go out in a little while. It's just so blasted hot out there. It's 82 inside my house despite all the shade and curtain closing and fans going. My AC is in the attic, where it's probably over 100, and it's just so heavy I don't relish dragging it down.

The good news is that the cats will only have to tough it out alone tomorrow. I will be working from home Tuesday and can monitor things here and then the weather will moderate after that. In fact, I saw no days with temps over 82 through the rest of August. Of course, all that can change.

Someone's looking at the condo today. I've had a fair amount of traffic but not a single offer yet. It was listed mid-June and I lowered the price by $5K 10 days ago. A lot of people are probably on vacation.

After my office friend left here with her yarns, my handyman Bill came by and cut and then attached the new vinyl stair treads I got for my basement stairs (last winter) using contact cement. Unfortunately, I could see after he left that the edges of it where the treads meet the risers were curling up. He had put a bunch of bricks on the stair treads to weigh them down, but I went outside and brought in 8 or 10 more. He may have to come back and use nails so nothing's sticking up. This is annoying. The manufacturer had recommended NOT using nails becus over time they will tear into the stair treads.

The contact cement was very stinky so I had a big fan running down there and blocked off the cat door so the cats wouldn't go down there. It did seem to dry quickly though so now they can down to their litter boxes.

I made granola in the big oven; probably not the best day given the heat, but i was completely out of it. Also picked up about $40 worth of groceries, mostly fresh produce and almond milk, from Big Y.

Those are probably all the chores I will get done for the remainder of this exceptionally uncomfortable Sunday. I MAY just have to get the AC down here so I can sleep tonight.

Did you ever imagine that you could get your boss to let you work at home so that you'd have more time to take care of non-work-related stuff in your life during the workday?

That's essentially what I've done. But honestly, I have been stressing for such a long time now, trying to manage a f/t job and deal with the seemingly never-ending series of little "issues" that need to be dealt with as they relate to my mother's care at the assisted living place. Mostly in the form of phone calls, but these very senior level people there....I've counted 5...never return my calls.

I kept feeling like something had to give, and soon. And yet my job is incredibly important to me. I'm in good shape now, financially, but I can't retire yet. I need a few more good years.

I'm shelling out $5300 a month in "rent" and I do expect premium service. I can't figure out if they're extremely understaffed over there or if they would rather avoid my calls then have a quasi-unpleasant conversation. Although I have not been rude or out of line in the least. But I do expect accountability and answers.

Anyway, back to my job. I was going to wait to make another strong push for working at home until after our floor moves to another floor next month, but that really has nothing to do with my situation, and yesterday things came to a head with certain mother-related things so I somewhat impulsively decided to act. First I was only going to ask for one day a week, but then I figured I'd ask for two since my boss would probably feel better if she could win some sort of concession from me, eg, getting me to agree to 1 day a week instead of 2. Two would be ideal, but I'd be very happy with just the 1. I'm so tired of running into stairwells or empty offices just to have a personal phone call.

My boss agreed to the 2 days off without a fight after I sent her a rather detailed note with an Outlook meeting invite to talk about it. I was telling her about how I am still so pressed for time, even after getting my mother situated at the assisted living place and even after getting her condo on the market.

When she had read my note asking to work at home 2 days a week, it appeared she thought I was asking to cut back my hours from 40 to just the 2 days at home, so it may have possibly been a relief to her to hear me say that wasn't the case.

I work for a very enlightened company, one that very recently has been ENCOURAGING its 10,000 employees to work at home. After a downsizing in my location last year, they're smooshing all of us remaining employees onto 1 floor, to save money, so they are again emphasizing work at home arrangements. My boss always resisted my suggestions, direct or indirect, to work at home. She just likes to have me there, she feels a greater sense of control, she's a little old-fashioned, I really am not sure.

Now I think she didn't try to fight it given the urgent and impassioned appeal I made, which comes direct from the heart. Usually I don't share a lot of my personal issues at the office becus I am somewhat reserved, but it has been worth my while to analyze her personality type, and hers is very different from mine, so I adjusted my approach to talk about the work at home stuff. Meaning that, like a lot of women, her primary personality characteristics are emotion-based. Her heart dictates her decision-making, or at least makes a strong contribution. I, on the other hand, am highly logical/analytical and don't usually let my personal feelings get in the way. But I did share a lot of highly personal information with her to make sure she knew this was for real, it wasn't just a story or something.

Also, I think one reason she caved is because she knows she'd have no leg to stand on if I wound up leaving the company and then she'd have to tell her boss why I left. That would look very bad becus as I said, this company is very open-minded about work at home stuff.

I was also able to set up my work phone today so that when I work at home, any calls going to my work phone will automatically get routed to my home phone, so I won't miss any calls.

So I have Tuesdays and Thursdays at home. In addition to the all-important having extra time to deal with my mother's affairs, working from home will also offer these benefits:

1. So much less stress becus I'll be able to get mom-related things done more promptly, without having things drag on from one week to the next, simply becus I can't find time during the workday to make some phone calls.

2. I'll spend one-third less on gas and wear and tear on my car

3. I can more easily attend monthly alzheimer's support group meetings, which i hadn't done before becus there's very little time for me to get home first, feed the cats, and i'm often too tired to head out. If I'm working at home all day, it's much more likely I'll be able to attend the meetings.

4. My cats will love having me around more. They get so bored alone all day.

5. I can sleep a little later if I need to, and I have insomnia a lot, so I could sleep in a full extra hour if I wanted.

6. I don't have to dress up for work.

7. I'll have better home security simply becus I'm around more during the week. This is always something I worry about, somewhat, becus if someone really wanted to break in here, they could.

8. I can potentially save money by there being less likelihood of eating in the office cafe as I'll only have to make carry-in lunches 3x a week.

9. I can more easily keep my house cool in summer, which I routinely do by closing drapes and opening windows throughout the day. It does make a difference. Don't have to close up all the windows when rain is forecast either.

10. I can more easily schedule heating oil deliveries or home repairs becus I'll be home more.

11. Less usage on my cell phone minutes.

The only downsides I see are that I'll use up somewhat more heating oil in winter since I'll be home and wont' want it too chilly, and I also won't be able to shop the farmer's market on Thursdays in the city where I work, though there's a farmer's market here in town on Tuesdays which has organic stuff, so even better.

It's all about work/life balance. Such a simply concept, and yet so many people don't get it. It makes sticking with this job for a few more years so much more doable. I got a call from a recruiter when i got home from work and I quickly deleted the message. I have zero interest in other job prospects. The one I have is becoming pretty near perfect.

So my mother's condo has been on the market for about 7 weeks now.

There has been some traffic and a lot of lookers are saying they don't like the set-up with the finished basement, which requires use of a staircase for access to it that is shared (just the staircase) with one other, adjacent property owner. So whenever you leave that lower level room, you'd always have to lock up.

People have also commented that they prefer wood or laminate floors to the wall to wall I just put down, but I mean, at this price point, beggars can't be choosers. The condo was listed at $158K with me chipping in $3K toward the buyer's closing costs. It's hard for me to believe that a 2 bedrm, 1.5 bath condo in Fairfield County, Connecticut could be had for so little money. This is a pretty expensive area to live in.

Unfortunately, I agreed yesterday at my realtor's recommendation to lower my asking price by $5,000. Because another unit in the complex was just listed for barely $2,000 more and it has a new kitchen, hardwood floors and a garage instead of the finished lower level. Most people seem to prefer the garage. (Clearing snow off a car all winter gets old fast.)

So my realtor said we should do whatever we can to set my unit apart from that one, price-wise, and to try to get mine sold first, cus otherwise, the sale of the other one would be used as a comparable against mine, and it might make mine look overpriced and force me to drop my price further.

I'm not happy about dropping my price by $5K, but the place needs to be sold, and the stress from having it hanging over my head is not something I want to have over the winter. My carrying costs are about $500 a month. That includes property taxes (discounted becus my mother was eligible as a low income senior but she would have to reapply next year and I'm guessing she would be ineligible becus she was no longer residing at this address), electric (which is $40 a month cus nothing but stove and hot water heater are running, tho this would rise even with minimal heat in the winter) and HOA fees, which are $363 a month.

I really wouldn't care so much about the price if, say, my mother had passed and the money from condo sale was just my and my sister's inheritance. But in this case, my mother's assisted living is running $69,000 a year (and will rise when her condition significantly deteriorates). I won't get much for the condo at this rate, given the already 1 price reduction, realtor's commission (which drops to 5% if they don't sell it in I think we said 2 months) and oh, i just learned of the $1200 or so conveyance fee, which state of CT collects from sellers, just becus it can.

So the net proceeds from condo sale would barely pay for 2 years at her assisted living place.

This weekend there is a weavers conference in Northampton, Mass, and I was able to get the woman I've been dealing with who manages the website for the CT weavers group to post a flyer I created at the conference inviting weavers to stop by my home to buy some cheap yarn on their way home from the conference. Northampton is a few hours away from here but this is a regional conference.

I learned about this conference very last minute from another weaver who stopped by here and so I don't think the webmaster would have received the flyer I mailed until yesterday. (Yeah, she could have just printed it out herself from an emailed copy from me, but she didn't suggest that and since she was doing me a favor, I didn't ask.) So hopefully she will look at her mail and post it today so I get some weavers calling me. I said "By appt only" so I don't have people popping in at all hours. I am hoping I will get at least a few tomorrow afternoon.

The liquidator for the art said he wanted to meet to discuss a few marketing ideas he had, but he failed to follow up after I told him I was working from home yesterday. I'm not sure I can count on him for anything, so at the same time I've been talking to another gallery person who was very interested in showing my mother's art.

On top of all this, my mother still leaves me phone messages saying she misses me terribly and she hasn't seen me in ages, even though I've seen her every weekend for the past year. As usual, stretched too thin, and the issues with selling this condo are also a worry hanging over my head.

I have to accept the fact that I can only do so much and that the condo will sell at what the condo will sell for. It would be better to sell it now at a lower price than refuse to negotiate or lower it further and then be stuck with it, and its monthly carrying costs, through this coming winter and into next spring.

I have to accept the fact that if my mother is still alive when she runs out of money at assisted living in about 4 years tops, I will have to put her in a nursing home. I have to accept that I cannot make everyone's lives perfect, even for those I love. I have to not allow guilt to goad me into stressing and worrying more about all the what ifs.

Yes, I got my usual paycheck today from my employer, for which I am ever grateful.

But it was also a "payday" success because I was able to sell my mother's 2nd and larger loom to the couple from PA. She's been a weaver for many years and so she knew right away how to dismantle this thing:



She said she'd been looking for this particular loom for a long time and that they were no longer making it. So she got it, with 2 extra reeds, some shuttles AND 2 bags of yarns for just $200. Then she spent another $120 on more yarns and a shuttle. So I was quite happy to get rid of a FEW of the piles around here and make some money which I immediately deposited at her bank before they closed.

However, there is still plenty of fiber around here:





While she and her husband were dismantling it, a carpet guy came over to measure and price the 2nd staircase, but their price of over $600 is way too high, if I compare that to the $400 or so that Empire would have done it at (or $500, after they jacked up the price). I won't deal with Empire again but I won't pay $600, either. I may just wind up giving a $400 credit to the condo buyers.

After they left, I filled up my car with more stuff from the lower level. I was so pooped, not sure why, I didn't make that many trips up and down the stairs. Maybe just the heat.

Now that the condo is listed, there is a somewhat lesser sense of urgency to move, so the stuff I am moving I am a bit more reluctant to toss or donate like so MUCH other stuff, since I theoretically have some spare time to try to sell the stuff.

So I took some pix of a stained glass floor lamp I'm keeping in the condo for now, for staging, but I'm asking $60 for it on Facebook Tag Sales. There's a full size wood artist's easel I might like to try selling too.

While at the condo, I took some photos to replace a few crappy ones my realtor took. I mean, she posted one photo purportedly of the front of the condo which mostly showed a lot of cracked asphalt and a bunch of ugly mailboxes. I retook it to get a whole lot of summer flowers now in bloom in the foreground, with the condos at an angle behind the flowers, the American flag in there too. So much better, what was she thinking.

I am still feeling so pooped. Possibly dehydrated.

I'm looking at my schedule for tomorrow and see that mainly, I can do yardwork, before it gets too hot, and then pay a visit to my mother.

There is another woman who responded to my handweavers guild ad who was interested in a pair of hand carders and a niddy noddy. Yes, there really is such a weaver's tool that goes by that name. It's like a whole other language. Anyway, I invited her to pay me a visit this weekend, since I have Monday off too. Perhaps I could entice her to buy yarn.

A knitter acquaintance from work also expressed a mild desire to visit this weekend after she saw my photos of the yarns on the hand weavers guild website. So please, please come. The sooner I sell these yarns, the sooner I can make some order in my house.

I am sipping a smoothie I made of green melon, plain yogurt, agave nectar, lime juice and mint. Pretty refreshing.

I had hoped to break the $700,000 barrier for my investment assets on the 1st of July as i was up to $699,000 but that was not meant to be. Stock market's been a little jumpy lately with the Greek default issues so I lost $12,000.

My next 4 days off are jam-packed with things to do.

This morning I saw 2 female turkeys and 6 poults (baby turkeys) in my yard, Very sweet. It's been a while since I saw poults around here, and they were so small, I'm guessing they weren't born more than a week or so ago.

The adults were on guard. When I remember how my sister had problems when hawks swooped down from the sky to grab one of her free-ranging chickens, I can see that the poults might be fair game as well, as they were quite a bit smaller than a hen.

I watched the first show of a series called Catastrophe on Amazon Prime. It was recommended somewhere. About a British woman and an American man who have a fling of a few days when he's in Britain on business, then he goes home and she learns she's pregnant, so they rather impulsively decide to get married.

After the intensity of about 3 weeks when I was feverishly trying to empty out my mother's condo, and the subsequent abandonment of my vegan diet for the convenience of fast food (mostly Boston Market), I have been able to get back on the vegan wagon.

I'm looking forward to a 4-day holiday weekend (Friday through Monday).

I will be kept busy.

Friday, especially. Friday is the day the weaver from PA is coming with her husband to disassemble and buy my mother's large loom. Later, another carpet guy is coming over to measure the 2nd staircase and bring some carpet samples; hopefully, their prices will be reasonable enough, or not over $400, to do the stairs, but who knows.

I'll fill my car again with stuff from the lower level, get a pair of movie tickets as a thank you to the very kind neighbors who have visited her several times and helped me out in other ways, and do some other things.

I hope to get some real yard work done, have a friend over for a beer and to admire my new entry stairs, catch a movie with another friend and take my mother out somewhere. If I can get my handyman to install the new vinyl treads on my basement stairs (long deferred), I'd be a happy woman.

At some point (no rush now) I will want to borrow my dad's pick-up, hopefully for the last time, so I can load some largish matted art pieces from my mother's basement studio, along with 5 folding tables. Come to think of it, if I borrowed my dad's truck this weekend, I could really use 1 or 2 of those tables in my dining room so that I could at least get the trash bags filled with yarns up off the floor and better displayed for eventual sale. I may just make time to do that, I think, this weekend.

My 3rd and final ad just posted tonight on the weavers' guild website with the yarn prices and photos. Crossing my fingers I get some takers because I have such a vast quantity it would be a shame to not make any money at all on it.

Not much interest in my mother's sewing table, machine and all the drawers filled with supplies. I guess people just don't sew these days. The original price was $200. My grandfather made that table 50 years ago and it is in perfect condition and very well made. I dropped the price twice and had one woman who, when i had it priced at $80, asked if she could have it for $60. I told her I already lowered the price twice and now she says she wants it at $80, but after talking to my friend at work, she encouraged me to just keep it and look into having my handyman/carpenter make a piece of wood perfectly fit in the hole where the sewing machine goes and use it as another desk/storage. It's a pretty little cabinet and I may hold onto it and do that as I feel I'm being robbed to let it go at $80. Some things are more important than money, and $80 would keep my mother in assisted living for exactly 10.8 hours longer.

Tomorrow I will talk to the realtor to catch up with where we stand. There haven't been that many showings yet although they did one condo open house for realtors and the regular open house for realtors showing is tomorrow. After that she'll do a public open house on July 5, this Sunday.

I finally finished watching the entire series of The Sopranos, from start to finish. I had seen part of it years back but missed most of the middle and the finale. Hated the finale...so indefinite. Amazing how much analysis I found online about that final episode, people likening it to The Last Supper and finding all sorts of clues pointing to not only Tony's death, but the death of Carmella and AJ. Meadow supposedly survived.

You've all seen the commercials with the catchy little jingle, I'm sure. Buy 2 rooms, get a 2nd one free.

Well, I'm not going to talk about that promo, but I will tell you I think their sales tactics are pretty sleazy.

I had them carpet my mother's condo. The sales guy took the measurements, and amid everything going on, I overlooked a second staircase that leads to a finished basement.

The new carpeting looks great, although I wasn't thrilled about a few things that happened. Like, without asking me if it was okay, the carpet guys were throwing large rolled up pieces of the old carpet out my mother's 2nd floor window onto the sidewalk below. Umm, someone lives in the unit below and you could knock someone to the ground that way. Not to mention there were assorted flower pots on the stairs.

They also didn't bother to vacuum the unit after removing the old carpeting. They just started right in installing the padding.

The next surprise was when the carpet guy, whose English I couldn't understand, let it be known to me that he couldn't cut the carpet inside the condo becus there wasn't enough room. And that he couldn't cut outside becus it was raining. So they up and left.

They returned the next day and true to his word, he lay brand new carpeting on the filthy dirty parking lot asphalt and cut it there, then rolled it up and brought it inside the condo.

They did agree to give me a $100 credit for the inconvenience of having them come back the 2nd day. Luckily I had taken vacation time, but what if I hadn't??

The day after that is when i realized I should have carpeted the 2nd staircase going down to the lower level. Empire came back to measure and told me the price would be $381 plus a $60 "add-on" fee.

The current carpeting is disgusting and needs to go. One thing that had caused me to delay in this was the realtor's comment that i should probably check first with the management company to make sure the space wasn't considered public space, since the staircase is also used by the adjacent condo owner for access to their own finished basement.

The next day I was in touch with Empire and asked him to remind me what that add-on fee was. (I knew what it was.) He told me $65, but that I had to commit to doing the job that day.

In the meantime, management told me go ahead and carpet it but try asking the next door owner to split the cost. I left a note in his mailbox saying I'd pay for the whole thing but could he provide access/open his doors when the installers were there so they could install properly. Never heard back and told Empire the same.

About 5 days later, I decided to forge ahead without the neighbor's assistance and called Empire back.

He said it could no longer be considered an "add-on" and that the minimum cost was usually $750 but he could "probably" get it down to $500.

I never talked to him again.

So the condo listed a week ago today, and yesterday we had our first lookers. Their realtor said it showed well for the price.

Today was the realtor "condo caravan" for the city where the condo is located. One realtor said they may have a client who would be interested in it.

I believe next week the condo goes on the regular realtor open house tour.

After that, I'll press for a public open house.

I have not heard from the estate liquidator guy who came with his wife, the fine art expert, to peruse my mother's art. I have a feeling this is a dead end; I don't think they really know what they're doing, nor do they have any specific art dealer contacts.

Tomorrow a longtime weaver is coming over to look at the yarn supply and help me value them. That will enable me to post them for sale on various websites. There are so many different kinds, made of different materials (acrylic, cotton, wool, silk, chenille, etc) that I really need an expert's eye.

After she leaves I will embark on a busy day of things to do which include stopping at the condo and possibly recaulking the bath tub, continuing to clean out the lower level and visiting mom. Also getting a pair of movie tickets as a thank you to the neighbors who have visited my mom several times and helped me in various ways.

Sunday will be a rainy day so will plan to try to tidy up around here instead of working in the garden as I'd hoped. I can also get busy posting the yarn for sale ads. One of these ads will go on the CT Hand Weavers Guild site; I bartered for this ad and the prior two. If people lived close enough to me, they could come to my house or meet me halfway; otherwise, I've have to deal with shipping.

I can't go back to Empire Today for the carpeting of the 2nd staircase, which I'd overlooked when I had the rest of the place done. When I first asked him if we could do it after the rest of the place had been done, he mentioned a $60 fee; the next day when I asked how much was that fee (I knew what he said but wanted to test to see how honest he was), he said $65. A week later, after I'd mulled it over, I said I wanted to proceed but now he said the lowest price was usually $750 but he could "probably get it down to $500." This after the price started at $381 + the $60. So screw them.

Having worked all week my progress on other mom-related things was slow.

The slider doors were installed; I am trying to get a full refund of the $175 estimate instead of half that amount, which is what they usually do. Of course, I'm trying to get the full refund after I already paid for the job, so I don't have much leverage. I can post about it on Angie's LIst though.

I finally figured out that if I manually type in the code for photos instead of simply copying and pasting, the photos will appear in my post.

Here, then, are some before and after pictures of my front entry.

The Before:
I dug up this old picture of the staircase. Note how dark and narrow the stairs are. Not exactly inviting, is it? I think this old staircase really dated the house, which would otherwise appear to be a much newer home, thanks to the vinyl siding I put on in 2012.


My goal was to widen the stairs from 3 feet to 4.5 feet, make them less steep and rebuild the retaining walls which had large cracks in them and ugly concrete. Overall, I wanted to make the first impression of my home more welcoming and inviting.

This is what it looked like at the end of day 1 reconstruction:


The After:
Here's the finished look, standing in the driveway:

Notice how I immediately put some potted plants on the steps.

This view shows how they extended the stone facade about a foot and a half back (on left) to where the stone wall meets the garage. Prior to this, there was a funny looking strip of cement wall showing to left of stone wall.


At the top of the stairs, I had them create an 8-foot circle of pavers. It's a nice design element, I think.

If there was one teeny thing I was a little disappointed in, it's the somewhat washed out color of the pavers. I had seen photos online of a more multi-colored set of pavers, which I liked a lot. These do show some gray and reds, but I wanted something a bit more noticeable.

This is another view of the landing at top, looking down the stairs. You can see where I already began replanting the sedums I'd dug up to make way for the widened staircase. I mulched it last night.


Overall, I'm very happy with the finished product. The firm I hired, found through Angie's List, was a father and son team. Their crew was Macedonians + 1 Croatian, where I guess they got their stonework skills. The 4 workmen were all over 50, interestingly, and worked very hard.

After 5 weeks of very hard work and 6 lbs. lighter, my mother's condo was listed yesterday.

I raised the price by $3,000 but am offering $3,000 toward closing costs. The net result is the same except that while buyers can finance whatever amount of money they need (in keeping with income, of course), they often seem to have trouble coming up with upfront costs like deposit and closing costs. So this could help motivate some buyers, and this is a starter condo community.

The main living area looks great, with just a few key pieces of furniture (bed, couch, coffee table, loom) for staging purposes. The new carpeting makes a world of difference.

This Tuesday a new slider door unit will be installed in finished basement, which is the one part that is still being cleaned out and looks rather a mess. Once the slider doors are in, I'll also get new carpeting for the 2nd staircase, which I overlooked when i got the carpeting for the main living area.

Another wierd thing about that staircase. It's shared with one adjacent neighbor, whose unit is the same as my mother's, with the shared staircase leading down to their finished basement and my mother's.

So to replace the carpeting on those stairs, "technically," i would need that neighbor to open up their 2 doors (at top and bottom) so installers can secure the carpeting under the door (not just squeeze it under). When the carpet sales guy was there with me, he thought the neighbor's unit was my mother's unit and accidentally opened the neighbor's door to their finished basement. It was locked but he just pushed it open. I tried it later myself and it did the same thing.

I had put a note in neighbor's mailbox saying i was willing to pay the $400 for new stair carpeting but could he find a way to open up the doors for installer or possibly have a neighbor do it if he was working.

I never heard back from the neighbor, and another neighbor said he hadn't been around lately. So I'm tempted to just push open the door like I did before and have installer quickly do his thing, then close the door. Don't know if the door at top of stairs would also open, but if it didn't, I would just ask installer to give me the tacks and strip or whatever he uses to secure it and I would keep it in case neighbor asked.

I mean, I need to sell my mother's place and it seems stupid to allow a filthy dirty carpeting remain in place just becus a neighbor doesn't respond to me. If I had to, I would just have installer install and squeeze it under the door and give him the tacks to secure himself later. Who could object to that?

Yesterday I dropped another load of wood frame supplies to the local middle school as a donation. I was next going to haul over all the glass panes that went with those frames, but the art teacher said they couldn't take it cus glass breaks and kids are always bumping into things.

I will have to make some other phone calls on the glass then.

In my "spare" time, usually in the evening, I've been shredding my mother's old bills from circa 2002.

The buyer from PA who is buying my mother's 2nd loom, the big one, also wants to get the "beater" for $45. I have listed an assortment of weaving supplies on a CT weaver's guild website. So that's great, and she's coming July 3 to pick up.

On the yarn front, the place in Tennessee I found online that buys yarns was only interested in lighter weight or "novelty" yarns. Which I have, but then she told me they only pay $1 a pound and she would pay shipping. You can imagine how much yarn it would take to get to a pound. I might as well give it away at that price. I think I'll do better to advertise it piecemeal locally, and let people periodically come to the house and pick what they want.

Now that the condo is listed, I can take a breather and try to catch up on my own stuff. Thank god i have someone mowing my lawn for me this year. I went to Costco yesterday using my mother's membership card. I also began replanting the sedums and daffodil bulbs I'd dug up to make way for the masons to widen my staircase (see earlier post).

Today I'd like to weed and then finish mulching my veggie garden before it becomes engulfed in weeds. And I'm folding laundry right now.

A friend may come down for lunch and a visit tomorrow. Was going to see Dad for father's day, but he informed me he'll be down on the Jersey shore, taking care of his own house sale business.

I will probably go back to the condo today to keep emptying out that lower room because once I go back to my regular work schedule Monday, progress on that room will be limited to weekends only, and I don't want many visitors to see that mess, even if it is an "artistic" mess.