. So this January it will be exactly 1 year since I purchased my SUV. It feels like it's taking forever to pay the thing off, so much so that I wondered, momentarily, if Toyota Financial had calculated everything correctly. But on the face of it, I think they have. I financed a little over $20,000 and have been throwing prepayments at it each month, having started out with an extra $200 each month but lately it's been an extra $250.
I guess it's about right since I see my balance on it is $9900, so I think I'm still on track to pay it off in less than 2 years (my plan all along). I'll be throwing $5k at it in early January to accelerate that process and then I'll be on the home stretch. That's $700 a month I'd rather keep in my pocket than pay in principal and interest.
My father had a fall a few days ago and is now in the hospital. I was shocked when I saw him yesterday because he looked like a boxer who got the short end of the stick in a bout. He had a golfball-sized swelling under his right eye and a cut above the eye with lots of discoloration. Luckily, he didn't break anything (a miracle) and the swelling has gone done quite a bit today. They're starting physical therapy with him today as well as occupational therapy, and it sounds like he may be transfered to a rehab facility to continue with that, which I am very much for. Typical dad, he says it dosen't hurt.
My father, who is in his 9th decade, does not move around much and no matter how much I try to encourage him to just move more, whatever he can, "use it or lose it," etc., etc., he has no interest. He humors me by listening, but that's it. I understand that. But he will do certain movements and exercises it if someone is there guiding him through it all. That's why I'm still taking him to physical therapy every week, and we've been doing this for over a year now. But it's not enough. He has major sarcopenia, and I'm pretty sure this is why he fell. He lays in bed all day and watches the news. He still lives alone, adjacent to my sister's house. She brings him dinner daily. It's not enough. But these are dad's wishes. He doesn't want to be institutionalized, and I understand that, too. So we fumble on. I would love to have a home health aide come in a few days a week, but I already know he will tell me no. He can afford it but doesn't like to spend money. When he gets home, I'm going to bring it up anyway. Maybe with this last fall he might see the wisdom of doing this.
December 13th, 2025 at 05:56 am 1765605405
It is very hard to know when to insist and when to step back.
Perhaps if he spends some time in a rehab facility, a home health aide a few times per week might seem a better alternative than a facility. The rehab place might have a social worker who can work with you to help guide him in that direction.
We were able to keep my mom in her own home until the last 2 weeks, for which I am very grateful. It was a combination of proximity to my brother and sister in law who could actually check on her by looking out their window, a lot of my ‘free time’, and a series of home health aides - some better than others. But I was clear with her that my goal was not to keep her happy but to keep her safe and that required that she cooperated with the aides. II hope you and your sister will be able to agree on next steps.
Good luck with this part of his journey.
December 14th, 2025 at 01:47 pm 1765720021
December 14th, 2025 at 05:48 pm 1765734538
December 14th, 2025 at 05:59 pm 1765735140
December 14th, 2025 at 09:43 pm 1765748620
Tabs, dad never wants to be a burden, so much so that it can be a problem at times when he says things like, "It doesn't hurt," and "I'm okay" when clearly he's not. 95% of the time he rebuffs me when i say, "Would you like me to do this or do that?" He won't let me just do what I think best, I have to ask, and that's part of the challenge.
Dido, thanks for that suggestion; I'll try that next time.
Rob, I'm so sorry. That sounds awful. I think people may sometimes reach a point in advanced old age where they just don't care anymore and it's too much effort. It's hard when you are younger to really understand how they feel. My father has been indicating he's "ready to go" or even more bluntly said other things which leaves no doubt for several years now, even when he wasn't sick or injured. It makes me very sad. I do understand, but there isn't much I can do.
December 15th, 2025 at 06:30 pm 1765823415
December 16th, 2025 at 04:01 am 1765857681
December 19th, 2025 at 09:04 pm 1766178284
December 25th, 2025 at 10:12 pm 1766700768
I experienced that with my mom too, the last few years of her life - she kept refusing any PT or OT or any other efforts to get out of bed/move. It was so frustrating and sad.