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Sidetracked by probate

July 21st, 2016 at 09:37 pm

After a lot of back and forth due to scheduling conflicts, about 8 of us in my group at work are taking me and the other person laid off in my group to a farewell lunch at Captain's Cove, on the water in the city where I work. It will be boiling that day and 90 but what the heck....

My goal today was to make more progress on the job search, either by reaching out to recruiters or applying for a job.

That didn't really happen as I was sidetracked by probate issues. I got a call from the court telling me that after having the latest form rejected by them twice (over the course of several weeks, with me hand delivering each time just becus i don't trust the mail) she told me I'd forgotten to sign the return.


I ran down there to sign the return and she told me they would then "accept" it for filing and that I'm now free to file the next form, Form 237, which reports on outstanding bills paid to creditors for expenses incurred during the decedent's lifetime. Luckily there are just 4 items on the list since when your loved one is at a nursing home, it's mostly all-inclusive. Bills incurred AFTER death, like the funeral/burial, tax returns, etc., are to be reported on the final accounting form, which comes after Form 237..

Because the court is exceedingly picky about everything being perfect, I spent at least an hour this afternoon just adding up expenses reported on both Form 237 and the final accounting, just to make sure it balanced out to what I have in the checkbook balance. It does.

I also had to call them to ask whether one particular bill, reimbursement of $7,000 to the state of CT related to a Medicare Savings Plan my mother was in for years (which lowered her Medicare monthly premiums and thus increased her Social Security checks) should be listed on Form 237. They didn't know and said I should consult a lawyer. I'm not going to incur more stupid bills, but in rereading their booklet's definition of what goes in Form 237, I decided that was the right place.

The court wants complete addresses for each creditor that was paid. There was a $90 bill for my mother's last teeth cleaning last December, done at the nursing home but billed separately to me. I remember seeing the bill and paying it but could not remember the name of the dentist. I rummaged around in the attic and could not find it; finally, i remembered I a handwritten note I'd jotted down following a talk I had with the hygienist, in 1 of 2 notebooks I kept during this awful time just to stay on top of everything.

Just having to go thru the notebook to find it made me all teary and emotional. It brought back the memories in full force of a 4-month period of time from September thru December 2015 I consider nightmarish, filled with fear, anxiety, worry and an all-round out-of-control feeling as I dealt with numerous parties at the nursing home to deal with her care.I had only a few friends to lean on for support, my dad, and my cousin Margherite.

Anyway, I found the address online after getting the dentist's name and the name of the practice, which was very generic sounding.

So I have everything I need to fill out the form but at this point I'm going to wait until my next work at home day, Tuesday, to fill it out and again hand-deliver it to the probate court. That will make probably my 6th trip there. I could mail it, but I prefer knowing it arrived intact.

The probate clerk also gave me a heads up I would receive the court's bill in the mail. I estimate it will be around $650.

This has been hanging over my head for so long and I really just want it to be over so I can truly move on.

I am going to treat myself to a good walk right after work to de-stress and calm down.

1 Responses to “Sidetracked by probate”

  1. rob62521 Says:

    So sorry this is so stressful. Hang in there.

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