I finally figured out that if I manually type in the code for photos instead of simply copying and pasting, the photos will appear in my post.

Here, then, are some before and after pictures of my front entry.

The Before:
I dug up this old picture of the staircase. Note how dark and narrow the stairs are. Not exactly inviting, is it? I think this old staircase really dated the house, which would otherwise appear to be a much newer home, thanks to the vinyl siding I put on in 2012.


My goal was to widen the stairs from 3 feet to 4.5 feet, make them less steep and rebuild the retaining walls which had large cracks in them and ugly concrete. Overall, I wanted to make the first impression of my home more welcoming and inviting.

This is what it looked like at the end of day 1 reconstruction:


The After:
Here's the finished look, standing in the driveway:

Notice how I immediately put some potted plants on the steps.

This view shows how they extended the stone facade about a foot and a half back (on left) to where the stone wall meets the garage. Prior to this, there was a funny looking strip of cement wall showing to left of stone wall.


At the top of the stairs, I had them create an 8-foot circle of pavers. It's a nice design element, I think.

If there was one teeny thing I was a little disappointed in, it's the somewhat washed out color of the pavers. I had seen photos online of a more multi-colored set of pavers, which I liked a lot. These do show some gray and reds, but I wanted something a bit more noticeable.

This is another view of the landing at top, looking down the stairs. You can see where I already began replanting the sedums I'd dug up to make way for the widened staircase. I mulched it last night.


Overall, I'm very happy with the finished product. The firm I hired, found through Angie's List, was a father and son team. Their crew was Macedonians + 1 Croatian, where I guess they got their stonework skills. The 4 workmen were all over 50, interestingly, and worked very hard.

Done: The carpeting is in. I have to say they finished product looks great. He did a good job measuring and cutting, as far as I can tell. So while I actually took photos from the unit of them outside cutting the carpeting on the filthy dirty parking lot, I probably won't bother pursuing the matter. Now if I can only get rid of that awful chemical smell.

Nearly done: My new entry way is looking GREAT. The stairs are done, as is the extension of stonework to the foundation of my house. The stairs are super wide now (4.5 ft) with beautiful stone walls on either side and seem like they're more in scale with the dimensions of the house. Instead of a narrow, dark and somewhat cavernous steep staircase, the new staircase seems more fitting for a front entry way, and more welcoming.

All they have left to do is the paver circle landing at the top; he had also said he would repair loose mortar joints in the landing directly in front of the front door, and I will remind him of that.

It was quite a bit of money, but I'm so happy with the results. Now I'll never want to leave here! I'd like to share photos here, but so far I've been unable to post them.

Scheduled: The replacement of slider doors in finished basement. The guy had come over last Friday to take measurements and told me to call on Monday for the price. Well, I called on Monday, still not ready; called on Tuesday, still not ready. Finally, on Wednesday, they told me the guy who took the measurements left the company, which I guess accounted for some of the delay.

Because I was able to get contractor #2 to install the door I picked out at Lowes, I was able to save $1250 compared to contractor #1, who said they only installed certain brands. The labor both were charging was about the same, $1100 vs $1,000. So yes, it was a cheapie set of doors at Lowes, at $300 (!), but it actually got 4 star reviews, and since the place will be sold, I don't really care about how it holds up over the long term and I didn't get it with Argon gas inside.

The wanted to install this Tuesday, which would be great except that I'll be back at work at that point and it won't look good if I return after a week away from work and announce I need to take off Tuesday. So on Tuesday at 8 a.m. I'll meet the contractor at the condo to open the place up. I will give them the 2 keys needed to lock up and they will return the keys to my mother's neighbor, a few doors down. I will get them from him next time I go over there.

So much in the way of logistics, not to mention making sure Lowes knows someone other than me is picking up the door, giving them the guy's name, etc.

Yesterday I was back at the condo. I cleaned the floor and counter of the half bath. As before, I was down on my hands and knees (with a gardening cushion, what a lifesaver) scrubbing the black stuff off the joints between the tiles) but it seemed to go much faster than scrubbing the linoleum floor in the kitchen.

Onto the master bath. I also scrubbed this floor, washed down the counter and the mirror and the bath tub. The tiles in the shower surround, however, look terrible. There is some mildew/mold that just wouldn't come off, but I notice some of the tiles really need regrouting; there are some holes are gaps where there is no grout at all.

So I think I'll try my hand at regrouting. I think it's fairly easy. After cleaning anything loose, press the grout into the grooves with a spatula-type object, than use a washcloth or rag to clean any grout off the tiles. Any other tips on this, fellow do-it-yourselfers? Also, anyone know how to make an old, dull bath tub (ceramic) shine?

I have to also leave the disclosure form for the realtor today, at the condo. It's a form required for any CT real estate transactions where you disclose any known major defects. Because I'm not the resident there, my realtor's attorney advised that I might want to just check "Unknown" for every item on the list down the line. My realtor had told me earlier that buyers may be suspicious if they see "Unknown" checked, but I think if it's explained that a daughter is selling a parent's home they might understand.

Yesterday I also donated a car full of frames, matts and photo frames of my mother's to the local middle school here. A custodian there helped me load everything into a cart, an art teacher stopped by to see what the goodies were, and they were both very appreciative. I had original plans to donate to the local Montessori school and had already set that up with a woman there who said call before you come. But when I called and asked if someone could help me unload my car, she seemed annoyed and changed her mind, saying it wasn't a good time for me to donate, they had art camp going on, that no one could help me, and when I asked how far a distance I would need to carry stuff, she changed her mind entirely, saying she didn't want the stuff. I thought she was really unpleasant.

I also went to the dump yesterday and got rid of a pile of stuff. I also dropped off a few extra parts to the small loom I sold to the realtor who bought them, at her office.

In between all this I managed to shred some health insurance paperwork and other items with my mother's Social Security number onf them, going back to 2002.

At day's end, when i was reading my emails, I found a brief note from my sister informing me that my mother was back in the hospital with pneumonia.

I had called and left a message for a nurse at the assisted living place 2 days prior after my mother's neighbor told me he'd visited her and during his visit she began having trouble breathing, wasn't sure if it was an anxiety attack or allergies. So I called the nurse, she never called back and next thing I know, 2 days later, she has pneumonia.

I spoke to her on the phone last night, and the nurse at hospital, who said she's doing much better and is on antibiotics but it sounds like she'll be there several days longer.

My day started at 7:30 a.m. with a phone call from Empire Today, telling me the carpet guys would be at the condo between 9 and 11 a.m.

It was 2 very young guys whose English was not so good. I told the lead guy I'd be working in the kitchen while they did their work. Before I knew it, they were throwing cut up sections of carpet out the window to the sidewalk below.

I had to tell them to STOP since someone lives in the unit below and what if they walked out and got hit in the head? Or they hit the planters/pots on his steps?

They worked very fast, and before I knew it, they had installed new padding in most of the condo. Without bothering to vaccuum, which was spelled out somewhere in something I read, about how Empire works. I mean, I could feel the grit on the floor with my hands. I may not be living there, but the idea of putting brand new carpeting down on dirt just turns me off.

I told them to vacuum and not take shortcuts.

Next thing I knew, he was on the phone with his boss and was telling him there wasn't enough space inside the condo to cut the carpet rolls and so he had to do it outside, and he couldn't because it was raining. So they left.

I have never heard of such a thing. The need to cut carpeting outside. I mean, the parking lot is filthy dirty. It's very upsetting to me. I spoke to his manager, and then his manager's manager; they gave me a$100 credit due to the inconvenience of having them come back again tomorrow, but frankly, I'm still feeling nervous about the way this will all turn out.

The other issue, apparently, was that the carpeting came in 2 big rolls and the lead guy told his boss it was too heavy for them to carry it up the stairs. Well, they knew there were stairs since they will be carpeting them, too, so why didn't they send 3 people then?

Unfortunately, to add to my carpet issues, there is a 2nd staircase leading down to the finished bonus room that I overlooked when I had the sales guy here initially to measure. I had called Empire last Friday to see if I could add this staircase on and the sales guy said he'd come over today, which he did. Price: $381, but if I don't have it done tomorrow, when the installers return, there'd be an extra $60 charge cus it's a small job.

That would be fine except that this staircase is a shared staircase also used by the owners of the adjacent unit which they use to get to their own finished basement room. The carpet on the stairs is filthy dirty and I'm sure they'd love to see it replaced, except i need them to open the 2 doors so installers can install it correctly. They work during the day but i left them a note in their mailbox tonight asking if they could make themselves available to permit access. I doubt they'd be able to but perhaps if they know the friendly other neighbor, Barry, who is retired, he could open the door for us? Only problem, I forgot to say in my note that I must have it done tomorrow if I'm to avoid the extra fee. I have a feeling that won't happen. I guess for now I'll let it go; this is all just too much for me to handle right now.

After the unexpected carpet job left undone (they just removed the old and put padding down partially until I complained about the no vaccuuming), they left around noon. I had already agreed to meet the salesguy at the condo for the estimate for the 2nd staircase, and he finally showed up around 2. In the meantime, I finished cleaning the rest of the kitchen floor. Looks SO much better, but I think I'd better wax it now before dirt gets into all those little pits again. I also cleaned the fridge, inside and out, and use a little toothbrush to get in the crevices along the seam of the countertops and backsplash. Tedious work, but looks better.

I hope to clean and polish the wood cabinets tomorrow and the countertops and then I'm done with the kitchen. Next stop: Bathrooms.

Once the sales guy left, though, I wanted to salvage the rest of my day and get some other stuff done.

I ran over to the AAA office to renew my driver's license, something that would be difficult to once I'm back to work. I regret not being able to get a "verified" license but I didn't have time to grab my birth certificate when I headed out the door.

After that I drove 30 minutes in the other direction to return my mother's pool key to condo management. They had said I could mail it to them, but since there's a $200 fee for "lost" keys, I didn't want to chance losing it in the mail, so I dropped it off in person and got a receipt.

After that I came home and finally had time to make a simple lunch around 3:30 p.m.

Immediately after that, I checked my email and happily found an email from someone who lives in PA but who very much wants to buy my mother's large loom, for $200. She's a longtime weaver and is comfortable dismantling it, and her husband will be with her to help. We agreed on a date 2 weeks from now and I should have the day off as it's the Friday before July 4.

I'm sure she's excited becus the price is very low, and I know my mother paid over $3,000 for it35 years ago. However, I went with the advice given to me my the retired doctor who said the larger tapestry looms are hard to sell becus they're not portable and not many weavers are doing tapestries these days. (The smaller portable loom of my mother's, on the other hand, sold for $700.)

I'm happy to be able to dispose of it so quickly. I had considered the possibility of not being able to sell it at all and having to get it out of the condo quickly if the condo sells.

I also needed to address 3 emails from this doctor who volunteers with the CT hand weavers guild, thru which both of these looms were sold. She will also post another ad for me with all the miscellaneous weaving supplies and yarns, so we've been trading lots of emails. I've needed her help to identify most of these parts since they are all very specialized, and we've both been checking weaving websites for ideas on pricing, generally pricing my used stuff for half what they go for new. And I haven't had to pay anything for the ads as this same woman was here last weekend to pick out a bag of yarns as payment.

Now my day is winding down and I am wiped out, as usual. I was very frustrated about the unexpected aborted carpet install and do hope they get it done tomorrow. There will be thunderstorms around 1 p.m., so she they should be able to cut the carpet outside before then. I hope to god they don't drag in dirt with it.

I plan to take photos of the guy when he cuts it outside and quite possibly using them in a complaint to the company. I shouldn't have to be worrying now about a dirty brand new carpet and i also didn't like him throwing carpeting out the window like some construction job site nor did i appreciate him skipping the vaccuuming, which he can only do partially now since the padding is down. With all these issues, it is doubly frustrating having a language barrier.

Yesterday I arrived at my mother's condo at about 10 a.m. I knew I had 3 hours to do some deep cleaning there, before I went to visit my mother at assisted living.

I thought perhaps I could finish up the kitchen in that time, and I had it in my head that I would start with the floor. Well, I spent 2.5 hours SCRUBBING it with a brush and just using hot water and dish detergent. It is covered with pit marks which trap dirt, giving the overall appearance of lots of black dirt spots.

So in 2.5 hours of constant scrubbing, no breaks, I managed to clean HALF of the kitchen floor. It really took a lot of elbow grease to get the dirt off, but oh, does it look like new now! I can't imagine that a professional cleaning crew would spend as much time on that floor as I did, or if they did, I guess I'd be paying more than I expected.

If anyone has any nifty tips for cleaning kitchen counters or wood cabinets, please let me know. I was going to try full strength vinegar on the laminate counters and try to somehow clean the cabinets first before using a wood polish on them. There's a stainless steel sink and chrome fixtures too. And the fridge to do.

Today the carpet guys are coming between 9 and 11 so I will be there at 9 and will continue working on the floor while they work. Hopefully, I won't be in their way.

After working on the floor yesterday, I went to get my mother. I took her to Shakespeare's Garden a lovely garden nursery where they have lots of interesting planters in unexpected objects. Most of all she enjoyed the laid back cat lying on the counter of the gift shop.

After that I took her to a photography exhibit at local library, and then we went to a veggie juice bar where she had a mango/coconut drink and I had beets and pomegranate.

She still talks about going back home, which makes me feel guilty as hell, because I'm making lots of decisions disposing of her stuff which are irreversible.

I feel like I've taken away everything that was precious and meaningful to her, but simply put, she couldn't take all her belongings with her to assisted living.

Holding onto her stuff indefinitely is really problematic, as my house right now is filled with it and I have narrow little passages to get from one room to the other. I could rent a bin somewhere, but then how long would I keep it? And I don't need any more bills!

What's most important are her relationships with friends and family, and I am doing my best to see her regularly, take her out on little day trips and encourage the staff to keep her engaged. It's a lot of responsibility for one person and once again I must point out my sister's lack of involvement is something I just can't forgive. I suppose we are all flawed human beings, in one way or another.

I sent an email to staff at assisted living with a link to a local place that lets groups visit their llama and goat farm. My mother would like that. I would take her myself, but it appears they're only open to groups, and they did mention senior citizen groups on their site.

I've been working hard these past 4 weeks, cleaning out my mother's condo and getting ready to sell it. At the same time, I'm managing her bills, her finances and trying to ensure she's as comfortable as can be.

When I first moved her in there, I was visiting nearly every day, or every other day; gradually, this lessened to just the weekends because, quite frankly, I need all the time I can get to accomplish the above. I'm also still working f/t.

Part of what's driving me to work so hard is fear and guilt. Two unhealthy emotions.

Fear that if I don't get it on the market very soon it has less chance of being sold to families with kids who want to be settled in before back-to-school time. Fear that if it doesn't sell by Labor Day, I'll be stuck paying taxes, common charges and electric all winter and then some, draining my mother's resources. Fear that my mother will still be around when the money runs out, in about 4.5 years from now. Fear that I'll have to put her in a nursing home and she'll be miserable and unhappy.

To be brutally honest, I would rather my mother passed before that happened. People have told me that as the Alzheimer's progresses, she'll be less aware of her surroundings anyway, but I don't know.

And then there's the guilt.

Yes, my mother can hardly finish a single sentence due to memory loss. But she can still express her thoughts pretty well, and what she is saying to me with some regularity is that she doesn't like it where she is. I had a sit-down with some staff there last week and said my mother needed to be more engaged and stimulated, so now, she says, they are trying to get her to "talk about my art" in group settings. But my mother doesn't really want to talk about it, particularly (although she loves compliments and praise of her work), but she wants to create, and that's not something you do in a group setting. (Altho another time, she acknowledged NOT having created any art lately, because, she said, "I don't always feel like it." I wonder if the Alzheimer's is affecting her artistic abilities.)

Everything at this place is done in a group, because of course it's more efficient that way and they probably don't have the resources to do things individually with people.

My mother says she doesn't have any friends there, that they're all "a little crazy" and they all look like they're in their 90s and use walkers and it's all depressing to her. My mother has no physical infirmities and is very spry for her age of 81.

She complains about her lack of privacy. People who come in to clean her room just walk right in, sometimes when she's half-dressed, and they don't knock. This pisses me off. What's worse, my mother told me the cleaning person was "reorganizing her dresser drawers" and even my mother knew they shouldn't be doing that. Maybe the person was nosy and wanted to see what she had, so they pretended to be "organizing" when they need no organizing.

I have already emailed one of the directors over there about this.

My guilt comes from knowing I have plucked my mother from her home and dropped her in this facility, believing it was the right thing to do, but I have exchanged one set of concerns with another set, and there is a void here that needs to be filled.

Living alone, my mother was overwhelmed with the tasks of everyday living, I think. Even though I was managing most of the bills, she still fought very hard to stay on top of her finances and kept asking me for an accounting, and then the questions never stopped because no matter how much I explained, she didn't understand. Issues started popping up when fairly typical repairs or maintenance need to be done around her condo, and I needed to step in more and more to schedule repairs. But even then, when the plumber (or whoever) showed up, she was totally stymied becus it became clear she didn't understand what the plumber was saying. I didn't know if he would recognize her mental challenges and try to rip her off and I could only do so much from a distance, from my workplace where I can't make private phone calls, etc.

In hindsight, I'm pretty sure my mother was also forgetting to take her meds, and that's why she was having the heart palpitations, which the medication was supposed to prevent. I read some warnings on her med that says you have to be weaned off it gradually.

I worried constantly about her still driving her car. Really, really didn't like it.

These are just some of the kinds of things that were happening when my mother lived alone. Whenever I saw or talked to her, she seemed stressed, anxious, lonely, depressed and unhappy. She was always talking about her need to deal with her "paperwork," which, without the bills (which I was paying) really meant the wads of sticky notes she left all around for herself, to capture fleeting thoughts she would soon forget. There were so many sticky notes, she began trying to organize them into little piles, but when I looked at the piles, I saw that none of the sticky notes in any individual pile had any relation to one another, and so if she was ever looking for one of those notes (which she wouldn't becus she wouldn't remember it) she would never find it.

In a way, the paperwork that stressed her so much was her own creation that came from her desire to retain control her life as much as possible at a time when control was becoming harder and harder to hold onto.

So with one fell swoop I moved her to the assisted living place, where she arrived with no paperwork and she is no longer responsible for plumbing repairs, cooking, planning or scheduling much of anything.

Now, she said, it sometimes seems like all she does is go eat a meal and before you know it, it's time for lunch already.

There are all sorts of activities planned, and from what I'm told, she takes part in nearly everything, but my mother has told me after trying these things out, some are "boring," like the hours long shopping trips to local stores where "no one ever buys anything." Or the "corny" cowboy songs some guy was singing to them. Everything's done as a group activity.

The only things my mother said she really likes is whenever a dog is brought to visit (pet therapy), because she is an animal lover, and the exercise classes where they sit around in a circle and have to try to keep several balloons up in the air by batting at them.

My mother likes to go outside but is not allowed to go unless accompanied by a family member (that would be me, my sister has not gone to see her since she was admitted) or a staff person. My mother complained that a staff person was bringing someone else outside and had my mother join them too, but then for some reason they had to bring the other person back in and so they required my mother to return inside the building as well.

I feel bad for my mother becus, Alzheimer's or not, I would react the same way in many of these situations. She talks about returning to live at her condo and driving her car. If she ever learned that her condo is nearly cleaned out, that I have donated many of her belongings to GoodWill, Montessori and Make a Home and that I am about to sell her condo, she would feel utterly betrayed by the person she is closest to. This is what kills me and makes me feel like an awful person who has put their parent in an assisted living facility as much for her own convenience as for her mother's well-being.

It is true, having my mother at the assisted living place gives me a measure of peace of mind that she is being taken care of. But it is an institutional setting very different from my mother living independently. I just couldn't keep up with managing my mother's life from afar, although I live just 20 minutes away. For a short time before I moved my mother, I had set up having a home health aide visit her twice a week for just a few hours at a time. My mother had resisted that for a very long time until I finally just did it. That seemed to work ok although it wasn't without its own challenges. I wanted the aide to take her grocery shopping and to doc appointments so my mother wouldn't have as much of a need to drive herself, but my mother treated her visits as something she needed to "fit in," in between grocery shopping (which she did nearly every day) or visits to the doctor!

I was considering increasing the aide's hours, against my mother's wishes, when my mother's fateful 2 911 calls on Mother's Day and a few days later precipitated a whole chain of events leading to the hospital's refusal to release her to her home where they knew she lived alone.

Although legally they probably couldn't have forced me to place my mom, I didn't fight it because I knew they were right. They said she needed round the clock supervision. Even if she lived with me, I'd have to hire someone to be here. And I have thought about that many times, having her live with me, but I know it would be an untenable situation, even without her having mild Alzheimer's. She's always had the ability to drive me crazy in a very short amount of time. I have often thought of my mother as a high maintenance kind of person who constantly needs tending to. It's just the way she is. She was an only child and in some ways spoiled. So she will point things out to me and then I have to run and "fix" it.

I know what my capabilities and limitations are, and I know that moving my mother in here would be a disaster. Then I would have to move her somewhere else again and it would be another disruption in my mother's life.

As mentioned earlier, I had a sit-down meeting with 3 staff people at the assisted living place. They are making an effort and want us both to be happy, and they are trying, but it is a work in progress and they likely are not accustomed to having a resident artist who is used to lots of solo time and the freedom to do her own thing. Not everyone in this world is an extrovert, and so "talking" about her art is not at all the same thing as actually "creating" her own art.

They have a beautiful arts and crafts room filled with supplies at this place, but my mother has shown no interest in using it because, she has told them, "I have my own arts supplies at home."

My sister's disinclination to help out with things is getting in the way of my doing what's best for my mom. Or rather, I am aware of this and am trying to make sure that doesn't happen. I am still very angry at my sister. When I kept telling her i needed her support and help, she demanded, What do you want me to do? I encouraged her to come by the condo, if only to pick out things she wanted. She started working in my mother's upper studio, and i told her if you can concentrate on this one room, that would be a big help; I'll work on cleaning out the other rooms. Well, my sister did take all the paints, brushes and other art supplies, which I believe she will try to sell. (I told her to keep some for my mom at her new place.)

But i also emphasized that she should try to get everything up all the floor because the new carpeting would be installed by such and such date. Well, my sister came maybe 3 times and she did not finish cleaning out the studio. She pretty much came and went at her convenience and never told me when she was coming. I have been over there every day after work this past week. So yes, I'm very angry at her. Every day I came home from work around 6, fed the cats and made sure Waldo got his meds, changed my clothes and then headed out the door again for the 20-minute drive to mom's. And I wound up cleaning out that studio, along with all the other rooms, myself.

My biggest urge is to not bother interacting with her anymore, to finish up the whole process myself because she's largely useless. Yet I wanted to make sure my sister set aside some of those paints and brushes for my mother before she sold it all. It doesn't make sense to spend precious money on new supplies. So i had to swallow my urge to have nothing to do with my sister in order to send an email asking her again to set these things aside and putting them someplace where I could pick them up.

When I first told my sister I was looking to put my mother into assisted living, the first thing she said is "I think you're jumping the gun." I know those words came from someone who has little to do with my mother, and so has no basis to make that kind of statement, but those words continue to haunt me during periods of self-doubt. Did I do the right thing? Did I jump the gun? Perhaps I could have had my mother live 6 months or a year longer where she was if I'd increased the visits by the home health aide.

There is one other possible option I want to explore. If I can't have my mother live with me, and assuming that most other assisted living places will be similar in price and activities, there is one place I learned of (which has gotten both rave and bad reviews) which is local and which is not dedicated to memory care, like where my mother lives now, but they do appear to have small apartments. I'm not sure my mother would be eligible for such an apartment due to the Alzheimer's, but if she was, it would much more like her old condo where she had several rooms, not just one with a bath, and she would be able to interact with other residents who did not have memory loss issues. These are the 2 key issues for my mom, I think.

I don't know much more about this place than what I saw on their website. I have exchanged phone messages with the director there. No idea how the cost would compare with the $5300/mth I'm paying now, and of course there's the question of when and how quickly the Alzheimer's caused her to deteriorate, would she be able to age in place? I believe this facility has the apartments and a nursing home on site, but no real in-between. Would they force me to move her out of the apartment at some point when she progressed? At the place she's at now, it's all dedicated to memory care people and they have 3 floors segregated by how bad the mental impairment is, so as a patient progresses, they can easily be moved to another level with appropriate care.

Tomorrow is the carpet installation; i have to be on site for that but plan to make some important phone calls, this being one of them, while I'm there.

Yesterday morning right before I left to meet my carpenter at the condo, a woman on Facebook said she wanted to buy some shelves and said she could meet me there at 9. I figured, perfect. I didn't have to bother my friend who lives 40 minutes away to have him drive over to provide "security" when meeting to sell something to someone you met online, since my carpenter would be there. Well, the woman never showed up, so me and carpenter moved out the last 4 bookshelves and loaded them in his truck for GoodWill. We demolished a small, damaged particleboard desk. Once again he said he didn't expect any payment from me, but I gave him what I had in my wallet, which was $29. He's been a greater help to me than my own sister.

I try to make it worth his while even though he's given me a break on payments. This time, he asked to take an old stool and I offered him 2 compact cube-type tables, which he liked. (He lives in a tiny cabin about 500 sf so he can't take big stuff.) Last time I gave him an old (not flat screen) TV, a boombox, VCR, and a very good Sony stereo receiver and CD player. I had no use for it and he's done a lot for me. The CD player wasn't working, though it could be fixable, I don't know.

On today's agenda: Head over to condo this a.m. and concentrate on cleaning the kitchen and baths. Continue emptying lower level studio but since I'm going to visit my mother afterwards, I can only fill up the trunk, not the back seat, so my mother doesn't see it.

I may take her to a beautiful Japanese garden about a 1/2 hour away, or maybe just a more local garden nursery that's interesting to explore. I can give her my camera to take some pix if she likes. That's the plan for today. I hope I'm not too tired to take her out because she really needs it.

Work on the front entry redo is going gangbusters.

Here's what it looked like yesterday, at the end of Day 1:



Has anyone else noticed that it "appears" the problem with uploading jpgs has been fixed on this site, but for some reason, images still don't appear, although the code now does.

The Great Cleanout trudges on (of mom's condo).

Main Living Area: It's in pretty good shape. This a.m. my carpenter and I will meet there at 9 a.m. to haul out 4 bookshelves and a small desk. Of my mother's 7 bookshelves, I sold 3 of them for $20 each on Facebook Tag Sale (so much better than Craig's List or Patch). They are particleboard, so the Make a Home Foundation people who picked up the other furniture didn't want them.

I will call Good Will this a.m. and see if they accept particleboard shelves. If so, it will save me money I would otherwise have to spend to leave it at our transfer station/dump.

I would like to keep one of these shelves myself, so we can load up carpenter's truck, hopefully drop off the 3 shelves and small desk at goodwill and then drop off the 1 shelf at my place.

The additional challenge there is that my masons have started work redoing my front entry and it will be difficult to get up the driveway. We will have to carry the shelves up from my basement.

Yesterday, while I was waiting for one of my shelving buyers to show up, I began cleaning out the finished basement. My mother used it as a 2nd studio and it is packed with artist supplies, matted work and so on. I found 2 whole boxes filled with nothing but wood dowels that look like they came off furniture. Several cigar boxes packed with staples. Things she collected over the years.

One thing she has even more of is frames: photo frames still unwrapped in original packaging, frames for art, etc. I've been in touch with the local Montessori school and they will take the frames and miscellaneous supplies as a donation, but I still have to pack up my car with it and bring it there, next week.

My mother also kept half used or leaky tubes of paints, which I'm pretty sure qualify as hazardous wastes. So I will save those couple of small boxes in my garage until the next household hazardous waste drop off day occurs. Unfortunately,my town just had theirs so i may have to wait another year.

The glass replacement on the slider doors in lower level has now morphed into replacement of the entire sliding door unit, becus i discovered the lock was busted on it. I had a guy over there yesterday to measure for an estimate. I will likely go with this guy over the first place I called becus the first place I called told me they only work with certain brands of doors, and these were not especially cheap. I found I could get some slider doors at Lowes/Home Depot for as little as $300, and they got very good reviews to boot. The place I had measuring yesterday will install whatever you want, so i gave him the info about the Reliabilt 300 Series.

I amt thinking of calling Empire Carpet back to see if I could add on replacement carpeting to the lower staircase to the finished basement, which I sort of overlooked when I had the main living area priced for carpeting. I counted and measured the stairs. Probably a few hundred more but it would look so much better to potential buyers.

My mother cataloged all her life's work with slides. I mean, it's a small cabinet filled with nothing but slides. My house is bursting at the seams with her stuff. IMO, slides are obsolete; if someone were interested in her work, I could simply take photos and email jpgs. Do you agree? I would like to dump her slides; it will be hard to do, as it obviously took so much time to do, but I don't think they are needed. I have so many other records of her work in other forms.

This afternoon a woman from the CT Handweavers Guild is coming down to my place to see my mother's yarn supplies. It'll be about an hour's drive for her. She agreed to let me barter for the cost of the $30 ad I want to place on her group's website for my mother's larger loom and all the yarn supplies. She will pick out some yarns. She usually gets supplies at 60% of wholesale price; I assured her I would make it worth her while to drive down here.

I also contacted a place in TN whose website I found who buys yarns from people. However, the woman said shipping costs could outweigh the benefit. She will have the owner call me next week.

Ideally, I'd like to find another place just like that one that is closer to where I live so that shipping is not an issue. Selling these yarns individually isn't really a viable option, not when you have over 20 large trash bags and baskets sitting in your dining room filled with yarns.

In the living room and family room, meanwhile, I have all my mother's art propped up on the floor and against the walls. Next week an art/estate liquidator is coming with his arts expert to see if they might want to buy my mother's art as a lot. I suspect the price they may offer, if they even do make an offer, will be a real lowball offer. Not sure how this will go.

So there you have it. Still cleaning out the condo, trying to sell the big loom, yarn supplies and art. I have next week off; condo scheduled to go on MLS on Friday, come hell or high water. New carpeting in on MOnday, slider door replacement will follow.

Did I tell you I lost 5 lbs from all the work?

It's hard to believe it hasn't even been a month since I moved my mother into an assisted living community. (It will be a month this Friday.)

Here's what I've done (in between working full-time):

1. Nearly single handedly emptied out my mother's condo. My sister came 2 or 3 times and then seemed to have lost interest. I had my handyman/carpenter come twice with his truck to move furniture. My friend Ron came once but didn't really help, to be honest.

I can't tell you how many trips I made with either a car full or my dad's pick-up full of donations for Good Will. My own home is upside down with my mother's artwork all over, not to mention her clothes and things too valuable to donate.

Can't tell you how much I simply trashed, dragging stuff to the dumpster at the condo.

I mean, I can't even begin to tell you how exhausting just this part of the process has been. I am DOG TIRED. And I lost 5 lbs, after not being able to shed a single pound since I passed age 50. Amazing, but that's what a double flight of interior stairs will do to you. That's a big part of what's made this so tiring, the stairs.

Most of the rooms are mostly emptied out except for what will remain for staging purposes, except for the 2 studio rooms.

2. Sold my mother's 96 Subaru for $750.

3. Terminated the cable TV and returned their stupid little box, cancelled the phone and Internet service, cancelled a few credit cards.

4. Interviewed 3 realtors and then picked one. With the help of a friend of mine who used to run a brokerage, we established the list price and a strategy to sell it quickly (hopefully). I negotiated a 5% commission with my agent and then will pay an additional 1% bonus commission to any agent who gets the condo under contract in 2 months time. If I still have this condo by back-to-school time, I'll have lost my window of opportunity and will likely have it thru the winter til next spring, and I'll be paying the taxes and common charges every month, which I REALLY don't want to get stuck doing. So it needs to sell quickly.

I already wrote the listing description (i used to do a lot of that as a freelance real estate writer) and the agent is using it.

My agent's agency will get a sneak preview of the condo later this week so they have an opportunity to make more money on it before it goes on MLS the following week.

5. I met with a carpet place and it's scheduled to get new wall to wall carpet this Wednesday. What's there is shot, looks terrible and makes the whole place look dirty.

6. The only other improvement I'm planning on doing is replacing the fogged up glass in the sliding glass doors in finished walk-out basement. I'm meeting the glass company guy there tomorrow for an estimate, but expect it will be $300 or $400.

7. Also tomorrow Make a Home Foundation is coming with 2 guys and a truck to take all my furniture donations, which includes dozens of book shelves, cabinets, desks, file cabinets etc. I HOPE they will take it all and not turn their nose up at anything.

8. In between all this, lots of visits with my mother to try to make her feel comfortable. Today, for instance, I spent a few hours in the a.m. scrambling to clean out the upper studio as my sister failed to clean out this one room as I'd asked her to. My concern is they won't be able to do replace the wall to wall carpeting in there if there's too much stuff to move. Then I drove over to my mother's to take her to a matinee and when i got home around 5:30 p.m., I sank into a lounge chair, exhausted.

Still to do: Find an attorney to represent me at closing.

Find buyers for both looms; I may have to donate the larger one to a nonprofit group in Hartford area that teaches blind people a skill (weaving). The smaller one should sell...I have a possible buyer coming tomorrow to look at it.

Next week an estate liquidator guy and his art expert are coming to my home to look at my mother's art and ideally buy it all as one lot to sell to dealers or whatever.

Later down the road I will want to sell my mother's 2 diamond rings, and 2 antique Koran holders my mother bought in Morocco that I believe are worth something.

There's also a large Moroccan rug that could be worth something.

I may also hire a cleaning company to deep clean just the kitchen and 2 bathrooms.

I need to find a place to donate a zillion photo frames, picture frames and mats and miscellaneous art supplies. I'll throw in yarn supplies to whoever buys the looms. May call a Montessori school about the frames tomorrow.

Have been in touch with mom's accountant; concerns about taxes. There's just so much to think about. My only consolation is that for most people, this kind of thing happens when their loved one passes, so then they have to do all this stuff while they're still in mourning. At least for me, my mom's still alive so it's not quite as emotional, though it is still difficult and I do feel very guilty at times becus i feel I'm dismantling her life and leaving her with very little.

From the surface, if you spoke to her, the only thing amiss would be that she can't remember anything, and even has trouble finishing a sentence. Otherwise, she's not overweight, she walks quite well and looks pretty well put together.

One week after starting to clean out the condo, here's what's been accomplished:

I made another two trips over to my mother's today, heading over in the morning. Discovered one entire large cabinet filled with fabrics, scraps and what-not; all of that I threw in trash bags and put in the dumpster at condo. I loaded the car up with a pile of stuff for Good Will, dropped that off, then returned to mom's condo to load up again, then returned to my town and stopped at the library to unload a trunk full of CDs, vinyl records and still more books. Went home and unloaded the rest of the stuff at my house. After 5 p.m., I returned to mom's condo again and loaded up. Lather, rinse, repeat.

Here's where we stand:

Kitchen: While there's still stuff all over the counters, most of the cabinets have now been emptied, and 2 full sets of stoneware dishes, glassware, pots and pans, et, etc have been packed up; there are 4 or so boxes ready for my next trip to GoodWill. Fridge was also emptied. The art on the wall is down.

Dining Room/Living Room: All the books on the 4 narrow and tall bookshelves have been emptied and hauled to library. Two other large cabinets and a large cedar chest have also been emptied. Most of the small stuff has been packed and taken away. What remains are a bunch of small and large pieces of furniture and a dozen or so larger framed art pieces that won't fit in my car. I emailed Habitat for Humanity tonight with pix of the furniture and will await a callback for pickup.

Small linen closet: Partially emptied; I'm using mom's many towels between the framed art pieces so nothing gets scratched. When this is all done, I can donate the towels to the local animal shelter.

Bedroom/office: My mother's office is in her bedroom, and this room is a real mess. The only work done here is the 2 dressers were moved with my handyman to her new place, and some clothing in the closet as well as some books in a smaller bookcase. STill a ton of work here that includes a large metal desk, a small desk, 2 4-drawer metal filing cabinets and her closet. This room will really slow me down. I know it will take time to sort thru the papers, and that's why my initial thought was to take it all home so i could do it at my leisure.

Studio: My mother's studio/loom room is also filled with art supplies and piles and piles of yarns. My sister volunteered to sort through this and thinks she may be able to sell it all in bulk to one or two people, but we had a testy moment because I asked her to give me the proceeds from such a sale because my mother's going to need every penny to keep going at the assisted living place. My sister looked like she was about to say umm, if i'm going to the trouble of disposing of it, i'd like to be reimbursed for it. I actually didn't let her say that. (I should have, but yes, I've known her all my life and she rarely does something without motivation, so I read her mind.) I told her I've already spent hundreds, like buying my mother her new twin bed, and don't plan to reimburse myself for it. That's when my sister said I don't have to play the martyr.

So I don't know where we stand, and it really irks me to think my sister would just pocket the money from the sale. But I'm already in over my head and need the help.

However, my mother's 2 looms, 1 large and 1 small, are worth some real money and I won't let her profit from those. I was researching the brand names and the larger one retails for several thousand dollars new.

The Lower Level: This is more art space and is filled with mostly unframed pieces. My sister also volunteered to work in there.

I know it seems like we (mostly me) got a lot done in 9 days (dare I say 4 weekend days since I worked Monday thru Friday and did not go down there then?), but once i go back to work the progress will slow. I do have 2 extra days off this week and a week off in mid-June, at which time I expect to be interviewing realtors, but I'm also considering using more of my vacation time in June to help ensure this place is on the market by July.

The car: My friend R. said he would help me out by selling my mother's car for me. But then he said he wanted a cut; he first suggested one-third, which seemed like a bit much, but he agreed to one-quarter. So if the car was sold for $1,000, I'd get $750. This money, too, will go back in my mother's account. Of course then I would need to drive the 40 minutes down to his place to drop it off, and I wound up having to post it on Craig's List becus he didn't know how to do it. And I knew his prep school reunion is coming up next weekend so likely no test drives then. It wasn't the ideal situation, but it would relieve me of having to go on test drives with strangers. Especially the kind of strangers who would be interested in a $1,000 car.

But then my sister said her boyfriend would be interested in buying the car for $750. So I'd get the same thing I'd get if my friend R. was selling it, for a lot less hassle as the boyfriend lives much closer and I wouldn't have to wait for a sale. It's possible the car is worth maybe $1200, but honestly, when you put it in reverse it doesn't sound good and sister's boyfriend is planning on replacing the transmission on it.

So hopefully the sale will take place tomorrow. Told my friend R. of all this and thought he'd be relieved, as he kept telling me he was doing me a favor (but wanted some compensation for it) and he actually sounded annoyed. Yet this is the same person who asked me if he could have a particular piece of my mother's art, not for him, but for a friend of his he thought would like it. I let him have it becus I've known R. for 30 years, but it irked me that he assumes it's ok to get something from me for free, yet he finds it necessary to build in profit to sell my car. He also said well gee, you're making $80K a year and I'm working p/t at a gas station making $15 an hour. Well, yes, that's true, but he also chose to give away most of his life savings, several hundred thousand dollars, to his niece. That was his choice. Grr.

I've been to visit my mom at her new assisted living address frequently since moving her there 8 days ago. Aside from a mid-week hump where she became very upset after accidentally locking herself out of her room, she seems to be adjusting pretty well, although there are periodic, sometimes perfectly lucid remarks like, "I'm still trying to decide what I want to do, but this isn't it." She seems somewhataccepting of her current residence, if not always happy with it.

She continues to enjoy the food there, is getting to know other residents and does not seem to recollect her prior life in any great detail. She also was amazed the other day when i told her she'd only been there a week becus she said it felt like 5 months to her.

Another time she got agitated becus she started reading the discharge instructions from her time at the hospital. A nurse or someone had written "for daughter" on the outside envelope, but my mother read through everything and where it said "Likely dementia" (they apparently didn't know she was diagnosed a year ago) my mother underlined it and put 3 question marks after it.

While i was there visiting i mentioned all this to someone who worked there, and she suggested I remove the paperwork because, she said, their mind gets on a kind of "loop" and keeps coming back to the same thing. So I took it all away from her desk and she didn't notice it was gone because once again, her short-term memory is pretty shot.

She is still having trouble using the phone I set up for her; she seems to have trouble processing the simple instruction to dial "9" before the number. It's written down for her, but she still has trouble with it, although she has called me several times.

So much more I could tell you about how she's doing, but my subject here was meant to be about the next step.

I talked to one realtor, who agreed with my friend Ron that rather than wait til next spring to put my mom's condo on the market with various improvements, like painting and the carpeting, that I should get it on the market asap, because there are generally 2 kinds of buyers there: entry level buyers who are generally young people not unwilling to put in some sweat equity and do things themselves so they can have exactly what they want, and also there is some investor activity there, the realtor said, since prices are so low there.

So for an investor,then, putting in new carpeting or new anything would not make sense. They want to buy it cheaply and then flip it a few months later after making their own upgrades.

I want to sell it quickly so I can stop the drain of money for property taxes, condo common charges and electricity every month while I'm paying an arm and a leg at the assisted living place ($5850 a month). I had hoped to get $150K for it but there are several vacant units in the vicinity (the complex itself has over 200 units) and at least one foreclosure, which is now priced at $137K.

I really feel it's imperative to sell it asap, even if I get less than $150K.

So I've been over there cleaning out every day, starting with the day after my mother moved. Mostly by myself, but one day I did have my handyman with me, and his truck, another day my friend Ron came, and yesterday my sister finally came and helped.But she informed he she won't be going over there today or tomorrow because she want's to get her garden in.

It's a huge task becus my mother didn't throw anything out in the 15 years she's lived there.

I have a ton of her artwork already in my dining room, living room and family room. She has well over 300 pieces, and I will deal with disposing of much of that at some later point, when i can investigate possibly selling it as a "lot" like they do at auctions. There are a few other items that would be worth my while to research and sell separately, like the room-sized loom and her 2nd smaller loom. I can possibly advertise to some local weaving group here in CT becus I couldn't ship it. She also a ton of yarns and weaving supplies.

But aside from all that, after my sister and i have largely picked out things we wanted, there is a ton of stuff that has gone or is going to charity. I filled 4 large trash bags with just used VCR tapes and gave toGood Will, which conveniently is about 2 miles down the road. There's also one at my landfill.

I also learned that Habitat for Humanity picks up wood furniture (not upholstered stuff as they have plenty) and I was instructed to take pix of each item I want to donate; then they call to schedule a pick-up time with you. So I'll be taking the pix today of at least a dozen mostly small-sized book shelves, cabinets, chests and trunks which hopefully they'll want so I don't have to pay my handyman to move it.

I will still likely have to pay handyman to move other stuff. Like, she has 2 four drawer high metal file cabinets and it would be too heavy to get down a double flight of stairs, so will have to carry down 8 drawers individually, bring to my house so i have time to sort thru before tossing away most, and then getting him to help me move the file cabinets a 2nd time to dump. Unless Habitat would take the file cabinets after I unloaded them.

I will keep a few select items in the condo for now, for staging purposes, including my mother's bed and headboard, the above-mentioned loom, her leather couch and some of her art on the walls and art supplies.

I haven't even begun to sort through her finished, mainly one-room basement which functioned as a studio and has more art stored.

Please pray for me that I can do all this. Aiming, at least in my head, to get on market in July; that gives me 5 weeks but I'm not sure it's realistic because I still have to go to work! I am taking off 2 days after Memorial Day and 1 week in mid-June, but even then....

It's been a rough couple of days. I think it fair to say this was one of the most difficult periods of my life.

Well, it's been rough all week in fact, starting with Mother's Day last Sunday. We were supposed to go out for lunch but my mother was having heart palpitations and called 911. She got the heart palpitations because apparently she wasn't taking her meds. She had always told me she was, and I believed her.

I took her home Monday afternoon. On Tuesday, she called 911 again, this time for...wait for it...constipation.

This time, the hospital kept her for Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday and Friday. My mother was climbing the walls.

They wouldn't release her to go back home, where she lives alone, because she appeared confused and disoriented and they said it wasn't a safe environment. (Well I would too if I sat around a hospital for 4 days.) But I also agreed with them. They said she needed round the clock care, and again, I agreed, though I have been trying very hard to keep my mother in her home for as long as possible.

But the truth is, I was worrying all the time about her. Worrying about her cracking up her car. Worrying about how so many different people in so many different scenarios could take advantage of her, financially. Worried about her getting depressed and lonely and always anxious because she was trying to hard to keep it together with her million different sticky notes on which she tried to capture and retain her thoughts, but they were a jumble of thoughts.

So I knew, and I guess in a way the trip to the emergency room was an opportunity for me to get her into an assisted living place more easily than going from home, because I could use the doctor's orders as an excuse.

With a sister who is useless and unhelpful, it was all pretty much up to me as to where to put her. I had researched just 2 different places. Masonicare was quite a bit cheaper (about $500 less a month) but it did seem more like a typical nursing home with dated, old-fashioned looking furniture and darkish hallways and not really a whole lot of activity going on. It seemed more about "maintenance" than stimulation.

On the plus side, besides the lower costs, the available room there had a view of a lovely pond with fountain and a walking path around it which I know my mother would enjoy. I was nearly ready to commit to that place, but the guy really did not seem eager to help me get in, at least, not in the way the people at Maplewoods wanted to help me.

Maplewoods was just built this year and it looks like a resort, just gorgeous. All the spaces are light, bright and airy, and each of the 3 memory care floors has its own sun room, large lounge areas with a large flat screen TV and fireplace, books, etc and their own dining room that looks like a classy restaurant, with an open kitchen where you can watch the chefs prepare the food. Each floor also has 2 computer stations where you can use it free.

My mother's studio has a good sized room with small closet and attached bath but no kitchenette. It does, however, have a great view of a pond with fountain and a lovely kidney shaped pool at the upscale condos across the way that was also very recently built.

If after some observation as to her default mental level, it's possible they could move her to a higher functioning floor where she'd have a "kitchenette" in her studio: basically a sink, small fridge and cabinets, but no stove.

My day started at 4 today due to anxiety of my own. At 1 i was at Maplewoods to review and sign the legal paperwork and hand over lots of money. I felt very much the way I felt when purchasing my home; the stress comes from making legal commitments about so much money!

After that, I met my handyman who had agreed to follow me in his truck to my mother's condo to load my mother's 2 dressers, a small but very nice table and chair. I had already made at least 3 trips on my own prior to this earlier in the week, loading up my car with stuff I planned to take to set up in my mother's new room and trying to empty out the fridge so it wouldn't smell and I could pull the plug.
Mostly I took her art because I knew that would be comforting to see on the walls, but of course I also grabbed clothing, shoes, some of her jewelery, toiletries, etc.

The Maplewood people said the kindest thing would be to tell my mother a white lie, that the doctor said it wasn't safe for her to live alone (true) and that her stay there was "temporary (not true).

My mother saw right through it and was angry and talking about people telling lies, etc. Very, very upset, with them and me. I was so emotionally drained by it all that I just dissolved into tears, and then she asked why I was crying and I said it was becus i didn't like to see her so upset. This distracted her from the reason why she was upset and about a half hour later, she calmed down and I walked her down the hall to her room, which was now pretty well stocked with her stuff. We knew she would be startled to see all her stuff there. I smiled inwardly because her very first comment was, I did a good job hanging the art. Then I said I was starving and did she want to check out the "restaurant" and we had a very nice dinner there together with no other residents around. By the time I walked back to her room with her, she was pretty calm and peaceful, we hugged a few times and I left and said I'd be back tomorrow.

I am so grateful and appreciative for the support my friends have shown me. My handyman saw what I was going through and said he didn't want to charge me anything and said he would take $20, but I gave him $35; he should have really gotten $75 for his 3 hours with me.

And my friend Ron told me he'd come up tomorrow and drive me over to my mother's old condo so I can drive her old Subaru home and more easily sell it. I'll be lucky to get $1,000; it's a '96 Legacy wagon. And we can stuff his SUV with more stuff for my mom or just more art I want to take, and then we'll visit my mother on the way back. She will be so happy to see him; she knows him from when we were dating in my 20s, so he's like an old family friend. His mother died of Alzheimer's so he knows what that's about.

Billy the handyman has agreed tentatively to make another trip to my mother's next week with me to load up stuff in his truck, whether to take to the dump like the queen bed or to just take the good stuff, like the art; most of the furniture is old and junky and not worth keeping but I will at least look into having a professional tag sale company price and try to sell it for a little extra cash.

I also ordered a new twin mattress, frame and headboard that will be delivered to maplewoods on Wednesday; right now she has a bed on loan from them.

After I clear EVERYTHING out of there, and that will be a while, I plan to have all the walls painted first. Then I'll have them rip out all the disgusting old carpeting and new neutral carpeting put in its place. If this doesn't exceed $10,000, I'd like to also replace 2 rickety old ceiling fans as well as the equally old 3 faucets in kitchen and baths. That is all I will do to update and then I will plan to put on market next spring.

I feel a little under the gun to do this quickly because the money from the sale of the condo, probably around $150,000, will be used to pay for my mother's very steep rent at the assisted living place ($5800 a month). Yes, you read that right. Comes out to $69,600 a year. If she deteriorates further and the level of care intensifies, the cost will rise even further, and i can also count on a 4 or 5% increase every year, she said.

Interestingly, they said the average age upon admittance was 86 (much older than I thought) although there are some people in their 60s there. (Sad.) And the average stay there is just 2 years. My mother is 80, so who knows how long she'll last, but the woman also said she didn't think my mother would run out as I feared; she said that in her 15 years in the business, she'd only had about 15 families who had to leave with their parent because they ran out of money. Usually, the resident died of Alzheimer-related illness or other causes. This actually makes me feel better becus I don't want to have to transfer my mother to a nursing home.

The monthly "rent" includes three meals a day plus snacks anytime, and the chef there is excellent. It really is restaurant quality food.

My mother was doing a little drawing in the hospital and I would like to find some sketch pad at her place to bring over, with some pencils. I wasn't sure my mother was capable of still creating art but at least she was drawing, and enjoying it.

By moving her there, she should have 4.5 to 5 good years before the money runs out. If she is still alive at 85, then I will have to put her in a nursing home under Title 19. I hope that doesn't happen. This place is probably the nicest place she's ever lived in and I believe that by removing her from an environment where she was feeling so anxious for so long over "paperwork" she just couldn't let go of, her more simplified life right now will allow her to just relax, let go and enjoy life.

I am exhausted, but in much better spirits than the past 3 days, when I kept second guessing myself and waffling between these 2 facilities. My friend from work assured me that both facilities were the right decision and I did the right thing. And Ron also said, after I told the long story of what I did this week, that I got a lot done in just a few days. I really did, but in the midst of it I felt nearly incapable of reaching a decision, because it came down to do I want to extend my mother's stay in assisted living 6 months longer at Masonicare, due to lower cost, or do I want to go for the place with the better quality of life and stimulating activities so she can make the most of it now while she still can and deal with what happens after that when it comes. Because I am so frugal, I was leaning first toward Masonicare, but when I thought about whether my mother would be happier at Maplewoods, that's what won out.

Now that I'm back in a salaried f/t position, roughly 98% of my income comes from my job, and given how much time it takes out of my day, I don't have a lot of time left over for side jobs if i want to hustle for a little extra cash.

Which is something I wouldn't mind doing as it seems my expenses have been crazy lately, and I seriously question whether I'll be able to save $11,000 this year in after-tax savings (see my sidebar goals).

I'm already committed to the masonry work on my front entry, but it's quite a chunk of change, $9800. I'm also having a lawn care service take care of mowing my lawn here for the first time; that should come to close to $1,000 by early fall. (They came yesterday for the first time and I was amazed at how quickly 2 guys could mow my front and back...1.5 acres. It took them about 10 minutes, and then another 10 minutes for trimming. Seriously, it would take me 3 hours and sooo much effort to achieve the same thing.

Besides the lawn care and the masonry job, I had big vet bills for Waldo (about $500 so far) which aren't over yet. I've also begun changing their diet plan so it's only 50% cheap canned cat food (aka Friskies and Fancy Feast) and 50% "the good stuff." Currently their preferred brands are Nature's Variety Rabbit and Weruva Steak Frites, but these premium brands are 250% more expensive. A can of Friskies goes for .52 at WalMart but the better brands can go for $2.50 or more for a single can.

So aside from my f/t job, I have retained just a single freelance client who started out with me a few years ago having me edit his emails. (I think he's ADD.) These days I've also been editing copy for his new poker website. But this is very small change and infrequent work.

I also very occasionally get some income from class action lawsuits. There's a website/newsletter you can sign up to get and it consolidates all the current lawsuits. Just the other day I got a check in the mail for $15 for the Truvia lawsuit. If you qualify and have purchased the product, all you usually have to do is fill out a claim form.

I also still participate in 3 online forums, for credit cards and AARP, answering simple surveys or commenting on something or other, so I can get $30 a month in Amazon gift cards. Of course, this is not really income in that I have to spend these rewards on Amazon merchandise.

Realistically, I just can't free up any time to, say, sell more perennials on Craig's List or something. The best course of action is to continue to tone down my spending again, which I admit got a little too much with all the stuff I've bought with discretionary money. Dishes from Williams-Sonoma, a silly Choo dynasty dog from One Kings Lane, gemstone jewelry from HSN, clothes from Macy's and Kohl's, a large canvas image of a horse in snow, a stock pot. These are the many ways I have largely wasted my money. Not that most of these don't give me pleasure, but many were ridiculously priced. (In fairness, the choo dynasty ceramic dog ended up being free because it was part of a pair of dogs and one of them arrived broken when delivered, so they issued me a credit and let me keep the one. The dishes from Williams-Sonoma were purchased using some of my $250 in gift cards I earned as wellness incentives from Cigna for getting my physical and so on.)

Today being Mother's Day, I'm taking my mother out to lunch and then maybe we'll stop at Whole Foods. I redeemed some of my wellness incentives from Cigna for a $35 gift card for Red Lobster, so that's where we're going. Before and after the lunch, I hope to get some more yard work done.

I had a yard of black mulch delivered and dumped in my driveway, so I began yesterday spreading it around my many perennial beds. I should have gotten 2 yards, but oh well. Yes, I can order it again but there's a hefty delivery charge which should have encouraged me to get more in a single delivery. There is SO much work to do in my yard, even without the lawn mowing. I have less time for it now, and less energy. And maybe less interest, too.

Lately I'd been thinking that maybe I could "age in place" here without having to move to a condo. This house has everything I need except that it's got somewhat more space than I need (more heating costs, more cleaning, etc.) and definitely way too much land to maintain). But if I'm honest, I'll admit it's still a better strategy to sell and move. It's just the thought of everything that would have to be done to prepare for a sale is so draining to think about. I AM getting a few things done, like the front walkway, but it's very slow-going. I should get out my punch list again and try to get some more things targeted for doing.

So here it is May, and I have yet to do ANYTHING from my goals list #2. Well, I did go to one Alzheimer's meeting but that's it.

This week there is a historical club meeting AND a genealogy club meeting and I really want to GO.

Waldo seems to be doing pretty well on his twice a day pill routine. Thank God for pill pockets. If I remember days of yore when I had to coat a pill in slippery butter and then get it down my cat's throat, well, it wasn't easy for me OR the cat. Pill pockets make what could be a real hassle to a treat for kitty. There is the next vet visit for another blood draw next weekend. That will really tell whether the meds are working, working too much and/or whether there is any underlying kidney disease, which i guess is somewhat common from what I've read about an overactive thyroid "masking" underlying kidney disease. Well, one day at a time.

Waldo was diagnosed with hyperthyroidism. I started him on meds and he seems to be doing well, but I have to bring him back in 2 weeks for another check of his blood to make sure we don't over-correct the thyroid, because that can cause problems in itself.

I had been sure he had kidney disease because the symptoms for both are so similar: drinking a lot of water, peeing a lot, losing weight, lethargy.

On top of that, the vet also told me he had an injury to his back foot. I knew he had arthritis in his back legs and was having trouble jumping up or down as a result. But she said he injured his knee and it can only be corrected by surgery, which I won't put him through at his senior age of 14.

The bill for the complete exam, bloodwork and meds came to......$500.

Mainly because this is a 24-hour, 7 day a week vet. I chose to go there becus while this wasn't really an emergency, they don't require appointments and I have trouble keeping to an appointment becus I sometimes have trouble capturing Waldo when it's time to put him the carrier. Also, they are a mile away from me so it was super convenient to go there after work.

I did talk them into a $50 refund for the urinalysis because she was unable to collect the urine while he was there and I didn't collect it at home either.

I will have to take him to my regular vet for the followup in 2 weeks; I don't bring the cats to any vet "regularly," but this was the vet who saw him when he lived at the cat shelter.

I started physical therapy because I still have 3 numb toes after pulling a hamstring last September. After the first session earlier this week, it really seemed like I had 4 numb toes; all the stretching exercises seemed to worsen things. I spoke to them about it and they said skip the at-home exercises for now. But since I'll be returning tomorrow at 5:15 p.m., I got the ok from my boss to work from home tomorrow. Nirvana.


The Famous Hooked Toes - Waldo's a cat who likes to feel anchored.


A closer look...


Just hanging out with mom.

Spring has sprung. All is beautiful in Connecticut.

I did my monthly expense and investment report a few days early and am pleased to see that I'm just $20,000 short of $1 million in total assets. I currently stand at $980,006.

That includes my home value but the rest is savings and investments. My investments for the month of April were up $16,000 from the previous month, and the current value of my investments alone is $699,727.

While this is all very nice, the REAL milestone for me will be when I hit $1 million in investments alone, not including the house value, which I think is cheating a little since you have to live somewhere.

I recently rejiggered my asset allocation to be a tad less aggressive, given I'm approaching my 56th birthday.

My current allocation is:

Total stocks: 58% (Domestic: 43%/Intl: 15%)
Bonds: 32%
Cash: 10%

In the domestic stock category, I also reduced my small cap exposure to just 5% as I keep hearing volatility will increase this year. I may also increase my international exposure as the Street says domestic stocks will be very mediocre compared to abroad.

That's the nice thing about having money in IRAs; you can move things around among IRA accounts without tax consequences.

I had a productive day today, and the nice part was, I didn't have any special plans.

1. Loaded and hauled another 3 or 4 wheelbarrows full of bricks from north side of house, where an old garden path is obliterated by weeds, to the driveway. The goal is to eventually plant grass seed from the overgrown area I'm hauling bricks out of.

2. Changed the hummingbird water.

3. Dropped off donated food at the animal shelter.

4. Took a 35-minute walk.

5. Did a load of laundry.

6. Filled the bird feeder.

7. Made a mason bee nest using a bunch of paper straws. This is the time to put these out as they finish laying their eggs end of May/early June.

8. Spent lots of quality time with Waldo, aka Purr Machine.

9. Dropped off some donated books at the library.

10. Made an edamame, corn, black bean and tomato salad for my lunches this week.

11. Made plans to get together Wednesday after work with someone I recently met online. He lives in the town I work in, so that's convenient. He seems very nice on the phone. He worked as a labor lawyer for 20 years and then 8 years ago after being let go he got into teaching, which he seems to have a passion for. The city I work in is known for its drug and crime issues. I'm feeling nervous already.

12. Fenced some peonies just now emerging from the ground so the new lawn mowers don't run over them.

13. Checked on the area of my veggie garden that I reseeded with grass a week ago; i think it's been too cold for it to germinate and not a sign of grass yet. Wondering if using grass seed leftover from last year will work okay. It's so expensive.

Yesterday I brought my car in for an oil and filter change. Note to self: Don't ever bring the car in to the dealer again. They're now charging $50 for an oil and filter change. The only reason I bring it there is because I always have to wait around while they do it, and they have a comfortable lounge area. Plus, I had wanted them to sync up the Bluetooth in my car with my new smart phone. Turns out the car was already connected to the phone, but i still have to figure out how to add contacts and then download the contacts to Bluetooth in the car. It's all a little confusing and I can't think of anyone I know well enough that I could lean on to help me with it. So ONE of these days I will actually sit down and read the car owner's manual. A painful process.

After escaping the dealer's I went to my mother's to see if her new door lock was really not working properly, or if it was my mother. It was my mother. The only difference between this lock and the one she had was that with this one, you use one key (with a special notch in it) on the top lock, and a 2nd key on the bottom lock. Before, my mother used one key for both locks, and this extra complexity is really, really difficult for her to understand.

I tried suggesting she just focus on using the 1 dead bolt lock and forget the other, but she won't remove the 2nd key on her key chain, so it will likely still throw her off. She took detailed notes about using the lock. Put key in vertical position. Turn left, Turn right. And so on. When she did the exact same thing with her old lock, but now that she has to think about it, it's a problem.

I got a new set of keys made for myself and also bought those little colored plastic caps you put on the top half of the key. I'm hoping that will help her remember which key goes in the lock. I had labeled the dead bolt key "Top" so she knows it goes in the top lock, but that label will probably rub off in no time. So the colored plastic might work better. It's exhausting having to spend so much time on such small details, especially the explaining of things over and over and over again. And then she gets upset when I lose my patience.

After that I went home and found that my handyman had already come and gone. He had cut and then nailed strips of vinyl wainscoting on the underside of a small roof that is over my front entry, supported by 2 columns. I was very pleased with myself for having found this wainscoting at Home Depot, as I wasn't familiar with what products might exist and what would be bendable enough to deal with the arc of the roof. Woodpeckers drilled 2 golf ball-sized holes in the old wood wainscoting and I was so happy that the new material looks pretty good because it has a scored surface just like real wainscoting. People apparently use this stuff for interior jobs, like a bathroom, but I thought it would be perfect for outside. As long as it doesn't sag or anything over time.

So the materials were about $72 and $50 for his labor. Next up: getting him to install new rubber treads on the basement stairs. I bought the contact cement and he needs to cut the treads lengthwise and depthwise, unfortunately.

Mid-afternoon I got an unexpected visit from my British neighbor, who seemed like he just wanted to talk. I was reluctant to invite him in becus my place gets so messy but he's had me over at his showplace home numerous times, so what the heck. We talked at the kitchen table for about an hour. He is still extremely money-challenged as he tries to get his toy business off the ground, deal with investors, one of whom (falsely) tried to sue him for embezzlement. Can't pay their taxes. And they are so tight on money he had to find another job, so he's training for a bus driver position. Their cow miscarried so still no milk and their overly food-oriented pig continues to torment them both.

After he left, my handyman returned and I was able to pay him and talk about the stair treads. Then he left, and I got in the car to head back to my mother's house since I knew she was going out to an art reception down the road. I wanted to take this opportunity to clear out a portion of the many piles of junk mail, 5-year old catalogs and publisher's clearing house pitches and so on littering her narrow little walkways. She won't even notice some of it is gone. Tough love, as so many people have told me.

I quickly filled up a single double bag of stuff. She gets too many solicitations for every non-profit in the world looking for donations, and my mother can't afford that. So I grabbed as many of those as I could find. I have to do this a little at a time.

After that, I headed to Trader Joe's and finally got home again around 6 pm. Watched another episode of the Sopranos in season 3. It was so long ago that I watched it that it all seems new, although I think I saw most of it except for the final season.

I am still working on charging $3500 on my US Bank card in 4 months. I am nearly at the 1-month mark and have already charged $1420 on it so I'm ahead of where I should be. For my trouble, I'll get $200 in gift cards.

As soon as I'm done with this one I want to try the Citi Thank You Premier card which has a much better offer. I think I had that card before, but it's been a long enough time that I would qualify again, I believe.

I took my friend out for lunch at work on Friday, a late birthday treat. I have to rein in the eating out spending; this month it came to $127, way more than I feel comfortable with. Under $50 a month would be more more reasonable. I tend to be overly generous when treating friends and dining out, I guess because I generally don't eat out that much or get together with friends, so when I do, I'm happy to do so.

Lots to do today but at least I'll have Tuesday to catch up on whatever I don't get done today as I'm working at home due to doc appointment. Seeing my neurologist for my annual MS checkup (annual as long as I don't have issues) and to see if I'm going to have to live with 3 numb toes on my one foot for the rest of my life due to nerve damage after a pulled hamstring (a real freak accident, climbing stairs) or what.

At this point in my life, I have a pretty good handle on what my strengths and weaknesses are. One of my weaknesses has always been fear of public speaking. When I had to speak in front of the class in high school, my face would turn beet red. I'm sure you knew someone like that in your own classroom.

As a writer, I've avoided most public speaking during the course of my career and have no intentions to go to Toastmasters to overcome this particular shortcoming, just as I have no interest in jumping out of an airplane with a parachute or white water rafting down the Colorado River.

At my annual performance review, I was supposed to come up with several goals to enhance/build my skill set. My boss suggested, among other things, a course on public speaking, but I declined and she didn't push it, because she is not the confrontational type. I mean, I was hired as a writer and do a very good job of it; why must employers try to force you to do things you feel uncomfortable doing, especially if it's not a part of your job?

If, for instance, my boss's boss attempted to force me to present in front of our entire group, which numbers about 40, I would actually rather QUIT MY JOB than do that. I am being dead honest about that. And with just a few more years to go until I take an early retirement, I have no interest in advancing my career or getting a promotion. I'm in it purely for the money.

At work my more immediate "team" of about 10 people meets weekly to discuss what everyone's doing. Because we work out of two different locations, these meetings always take place as a conference call. My boss has a new boss, and the new boss naturally wants to do things differently so she can feel she's making a contribution. Each week she picks on someone different to make some sort of presentation for the following week to the rest of the group. This past week she mentioned she wanted me to go next.

I guess it's not really that big a deal because I will be speaking into the phone at my desk, not in front of a live group of people who will be watching how much I sweat. Still, I'm a tad nervous. Silly, I know.

The other difficulty is talking about anything that will be remotely relevant to this group of people. I'm the only writer out of the bunch; heck, I'm the only writer in my location with about 200 employees. I don't know why I was lumped in with this particular group of people, but they had to put me somewhere, I guess. But I have felt like a fish out of water for a long time; when they discuss their jobs, I have NO IDEA what they're talking about. They couldn't be more different than my job.

The rest of my team is in product marketing, yes, but they are more or less like project managers who are responsible for shepherding each communications project, be it a letter, a statement insert, an email or whatever we use to communicate with our customers, through the various rounds of approvals and then producing and mailing it, working with one of our vendor partners.

They know all about the logistics of mailing something to 1 million customers using various specialized/proprietary software to do it, but learning how to write a regulatory letter or apply our brand is not part of their realm of experience.

So I guess my boss is supposed to discuss the subject of my presentation with me in the near future. She was out for the latter half of last week. I already created a 20-slide PowerPoint but it seems a little lightweight to me although it may be somewhat entertaining because I inserted some quotes by Aristotle, Warren Buffet and former SEC Chair Arthur Leavitt about the importance of writing clearly, as well as a cute baby photo.

My mother's new aide seems to be working out fine. From all accounts, she's doing a lot of housekeeping and going on lots of walks around the condo with my mom.

This is really just a stopgap measure but I do hope it will buy us some time before a bigger change...a move...is required to keep my mother safe.

As it is, every SINGLE conversation with my mother shows noticeable forgetfulness and her ability to grasp things is really affected. I am sure that anyone who interacts with her will see it. Even with the aide, or increasing her days/hours, I'm not sure how well my mother can continue living alone.

I gave her a $50 Target gift card for Christmas and I kept asking if she'd used it. She hadn't, and it became more and more apparent that she was confused about how to use it so I've finally decided I will give her the money and take the card and use it myself, to keep things simple.

She wanted to exhibit her work in a spring show at a nearby art and frame shop/gallery. I decided to help her bring her art there today, since this is a very local shop and she has given up other shows further afield.

Tomorrow is my "me" day and I hope to be going for a 20-mile bike ride with a friend on a nice paved bike trail in New York state. It's 10 miles up to a cutesy little town, where we can do lunch, and then 10 miles back. I need to call him to confirm that though.

I got the ok from my boss to work at home all last week so I could select and set up a home care agency to have an aide come in and look after my mother on a regular basis.

We had an in-home visit with the agency head and the aide they selected for us. It seemed to go well enough and she is scheduled to start this week on Tuesdays and Thursdays.

So I feel like I accomplished a lot.

I'm hoping this makes my mother feel less anxious about things and less inclined to call me every time she has a thought.

This past weekend, I took her to a memorial service for a friend of hers who died just short of her 100th birthday. Shortly after I got home after dropping her off, I get a message on my machine from my mother saying can you please help set up the new answering machine I bought for my phone. Pull my hair out time. It's always something, and no matter how much time I spend helping her with stuff, there's always more.

I suggested this is the kind of thing the aide can do. I arranged for the plumber's return visit to coincide with the time the aide will be there tomorrow as well so my mother won't have to deal with the plumber alone.

I tried to get my mother to move her many little jewelery boxes from out of plain site on her bedroom dressers to somewhere hidden. I said I'm sure her aide was honest and trustworthy, but there's no need to put a temptation in front of them. My mother said she doesn't like to assume the worst in people and didn't want to move her jewelry boxes. I did get her to pick out a few of her more valuable items and we hid them together under some clothing in a drawer.

I must confess that when she wasn't looking, I fished out a few more items I know to be valuable and took them home for safekeeping. Hopefully we can fully trust the aide, but if we can't, we would otherwise learn the hard way and the items would never be recovered, so why take a chance? I actually wish I could take more jewelery home for safekeeping as my mother has some lovely pieces, but I'm afraid my mother might notice and say something. As it is, I doubt she will notice the missing items I have taken, which just goes to prove my point: if the aide did ever take anything, she's never know it and that would be that.

Then today my mother tells me about some letter she has concerning property tax relief, which says you have until May to file, yada yada yada. I told her to save it for me til I could read it myself. She's filed in the past and you have to refile every 2 years. This is a big deal as it saves her a lot of money. After I hang up from her I check my emails and I find one from her outlining what the form says. In it she wrote that the filing deadline was May of 2014. So who knows if my mother took care of this...last year....or not. Yet another thing I have to look into, in addition to getting a grab bar installed in her shower and replacing the broken lower lock on her entry door.

Sunday was a day I had all to myself. I enjoyed it very much as it was a gorgeous day and I spent several hours gardening, doing general cleanup in the yard. So nice, and soon the daffodils and tulips will bloom.

Today I walked 40 minutes at lunch and another 25 minutes after work, as a stress reliever.

Luther has discovered a new basket on top of my dresser.

I finally decided on a lawn mowing company and got him to agree to $42.75 a week instead of $45. (I reminded him about their 5% Angie's List discount AFTER he gave me his price.

There was someone else here a few weeks ago who said "$40 or $45," but wanted to come back when the snow melted. I called him on Friday and again today to let him know all the snow is melted and could he come back, but never heard from him, so he must not have been needing the work that badly.

I don't think I could have gotten it for much lower than $40, and quite honestly, I don't have any time to debate prices on this any longer, so I'm prepared to live with $42.75 and I doubt that after this year, I'll ever want to go back to mowing myself.

I also had a good long talk with the agency recommended to me by a coworker, to come in and spend some time with my mother twice a week. Just having someone check on her and provide some companionship and perhaps someone to walk with will satisfy me; if they can manage to do one chore each day they're there, that will be icing on the cake.

He's going to get back to me with a final price (it will be $18 or $20 an hour) and when someone can come for the first time, as I'd like to be there.

I am also anxious to finalize the price, starting date and other details for the redo of my front walkway. I promise to take lots of pix so you can see the progress! He's supposed to let me know tonight when this week he'll be returning with his dad.

After work I got some laundry done and even spent about an hour clipping dead flowerheads off my sedums in the front yard. Soooo much yardwork to do to spruce up for spring. Of course the lawn guy wanted to help me with that but I can't go crazy with the spending.

Tomorrow I hope to start cutting back all the dead branches from my 5 or so butterfly bushes. The daffodils are beginning to come up.


Waldo does this funny thing. I call it "the toe hook." He likes to hook his one toe on whatever he's laying on (sometimes my lap) and he stretches it out so his toes are stretched way apart.


So photogenic....

Every fall, ladybugs crawl through my bathroom window and lay their eggs. For whatever reason, the eggs this year hatched way too early, in February, and I've been co-existing with a dozen or so ladybugs in the sunny bathroom for weeks.

They eventually expire, but I didn't have the heart to brush them outside while temps were dipping below freezing at night.

I've check the extended weather forecast and it seems there are no freezing temps in the near future, so I've been catch and releasing them all to the wild blue yonder.

I doubt their favorite food, aphids, are out and about now, but at least they'll enjoy their freedom in the Great Outdoors, where they belong.

This is absolutely not money-related.

Here's a recap of my 2015 new year's resolutions, taken from my sidebar:

1. Save $34,000. ($23,000 of this is on auto pilot via 401k contributions; the remaining $11K I will save in taxable accounts.)
2. Become more involved in my community thru book club, historical society, genealogy group, Alzheimers support group.
3. Cultivate a greater consciousness of how I spend my money and the degree to which any particular purchase enhances the quality of my life.

#1. Save $34,000. This is not a random number. It syncs up with my 5-year "Countdown to Retirement" plan that I've summarized toward the very bottom of my sidebar here.

I am not sure I will be able to save $34,000 this year. It was a very ambitious goal. The $23,000 that's automatically deducted from my paycheck for my Roth 401k and Roth 401k catch-up is doing fine. But I was hoping to save another $11,000 in after-tax savings, based on what I saved the previous year.

YTD, I've saved $2400 in after-tax savings, which puts me "roughly" on track to save $11,000 except for the fact that I plan to spend those savings and then some on a home improvement project, the redo of the front walkway, landing, stone walls. (See earlier post today.)

My Year 1 target savings amount is $723,000; as of April 1 my investments total $683,722, which leaves me with $39,747 to save in the next 7 months. I'm not sure how realistic that is, particularly if anything bad happens in the stock market.

#2 goal: Become more involved in community....
I haven't done this at all. No time, between work and trying to look after my mother. However, I am still very much on the lookout for meetings I want to attend.

$3 goal Become more aware of my spending. This i think I have done fairly well. After a rocky spending start where I was still spending a little too freely, an after-effect of having lived hand to mouth for so long, I think I've reeled in my shopping demons. There's really not much I am dying to shop for, although home improvements are another matter.

Well, obviously I can't do everything and I only have so much $$ to spread around. I have already chosen to proceed with the front walkway project because my old stone walls are not in great shape, some of the bluestone steps are cracked, the stairs are too steep and so on. The redo should really enhance things with much wider steps (4 1/2 feet wide instead of 3 feet) and the circular paver pattern at the top will be pleasing to look at, adding more charm to my already charming home!

I really like the idea of adding what they call "brick lights" to one side of the to-be-rebuilt stone wall on one side of the stairs. This area is always very dark at night, even with the lights at my front door and down on the garage.

However, there's the added expense of an electrician to hook these up; i have calls out for bids now, just to get a rough idea.

A cheaper way to go, and my friend at work gave me this great idea, is to have the mason drill round holes in some of the stairs along the side. I'm thinking 2 would do it as it's 9 stairs total. Into these holes I could stick a few of my outdoor solar lights, the kind attached to a stake about 1 inch diameter. I could make sure they fit perfectly into the holes and there I go..instant light, without an expensive electrician. Since the stairs will be 4 and a half feet wide, there's ample room, say 6 inches, for these solar lights, without impeding the walkway.

Clever idea, don't you think? The only possible hitch is that these solar lights might not be fully charged by the sunlight while on this staircase. Since the stairs have stone walls to either side of them, it is somewhat shaded except for when the sun rolls around to the south. I'm guessing the sun hits those stairs for a few hours before it turns to shade. In winter, I suppose the lack of sun would be more apparent. I could always move the lights to a sunny location nearby in my yard, but having to do that regularly would of course be a nuisance.

This was a very trying week.

Both my parents have been having medical issues; my dad, physical ones and my mom, mental ones.

It would be too lengthy and involved to get into the details here, but it was bad enough that I asked my boss to let me work from home today, and all of next week, so I could make the kind of highly personal phone calls I need to make (related to getting care for my mother) from the privacy of home, not my cube where 10 people would hear everything.

My boss is very accommodating, and agreed. I'm pretty sure that when I asked her to meet with me privately in a meeting room at work that she thought I was going to give notice and quit. So when I merely said I wanted to work at home for a week, she readily agreed and was no doubt relieved. I also got out of having to go to a quarterly "team" meeting out-of-state, a real pain in the butt because this time I would have to rent a car just to make a 3-hour trip up there, and then drive another 3 hours home. Due to the start time of the meeting, it would mean a very early start, and driving home at rush hour. I was stressing about it and just not wanting to go when I had so many other things on my mind, so she made it easy on me and didn't make a fuss about it.

I like my boss. I can't say I know her very well, as far as her personal life, but over the past year-and-a-half we've developed a kind of rapport and an understanding that seems to work well. She's learned she can rely on me to get a quality job done, quickly.

I wasn't able to make much progress on stuff related to my mother, though, because a lot of places are closed becus it's Good Friday.

Aside from those quarterly meetings, which I disliked from the start, I am enjoying my job. Lately I've been writing marketing collateral for the bank to talk up our student loans. Marketing is my background and so doing this all came very naturally to me; it adds some nice variety to my customer communications writing, which is probably 70% letters, 20% emails and 10% online banking messaging, statement stuffer messaging, statement stuffer inserts and that sort of thing.

I did have a lawn guy come out to give me a price on weekly mowings. I've done it for 19 years myself, but it's getting too much for me. He said the best he could do was $45, which includes trimming and blowing. Still, over the course of 26 weeks from mid-April thru October, that's over $1,000.

I had another guy here a week ago, when there was still too much snow on the ground,and he said "$40 or $45." But he wanted to return to look at the terrain when the snow melted, which it mostly has. If I can get him back here and agree to $40, I'll go with him. It's a pretty big new expense just for lawn mowings, but not only would I be GLAD to not have to have this particular physically challenging exercise, but it will save me SO much time better spent doing other things. So the money will be WELL worth it, although I will try to get it for the least amount of money possible. I am actually kind of excited at the thought that I could enjoy a summer without having to worry about lawn mowing.

I'm also still mulling over my 3 quotes for the redo of my front stairs, landing and stone retaining walls, plus a new, 8-foot diameter, circular landing done in pavers which should be very attractive and really enhance curb appeal as you approach the front door. I'm mainly negotiating with one of them and he plans to bring his father over again next week to doublecheck his measurements and give me his final best price. I know he wants the job and I believe they can do a good job, but I want to get the price below $10,000. After he gives me his very best price, I'm going to ask if he could discount further if I pay in hard, cold cash. This often works.

I will likely get it done sometime in April or perhaps early May, although this worries me as I have a lot of spring flowering bulbs that I will have to relocate at the worst possible time, during their bloom or imminent bloom. There is a fairly large azaela (well, about 2.5 feet wide and high) that could be saved, but I'm not sure if I want to as there's vinca and poison ivy tangled up under it. There are also 2 small mountain laurels that could be sacrificed if need be, as the deer nibble them to death and they don't look like much. But I also have a pile of perennials, mainly my prized autumn joy sedums, that will need to be dug up, temporarily stored under the shade to left of garage, until the work is done and I can put them back where they were.

Yet another "project" is my mother's heat system/heat pump, which plumber says needs some parts replaced to tune of $450. My mother wanted me to look around for someone who would do it cheaper, but quite honestly, for $450, I don't have time. It's bad enough I have to schedule these things for her and even possibly arrange to be there when he arrives. I'm not sure how long I can keep this up. I JUST DON"T HAVE TIME to chase prices on everything.

On the agenda this weekend, I'll be using $5 in Kohl's cash on something that doesn't get me to spend more when I don't really need anything. So a pair of socks will do.

I also redeemed $75 in wellness incentive rewards from my health insurance provider, Cigna, on $40 gift card at Whole Foods and $35 for Red Lobster, where I plan to take my mother. After signing up for Red Lobster email, I also earned a free appetizer or drink, which we can use when we do lunch there sometime soon.

Easter will probably be just the two of us. After an argument with my sister where I asked her not to come to family get-togethers with her bad attitude, she said she just wouldn't come, period. I doubt that after all these years she could change her attitude even if she tried, so I didn't bother to argue about it. So I'm just planning on picking up a whole chicken and some sides at Boston Market and that will be our Easter dinner. Afterwards, I might take my mother to Whole Foods, since she expressed an interest after I took her there once, a year ago, and I have that gift card now to use. I don't shop there regularly due to their prices, but if I see an opportunity to treat myself, like with my wellness incentive redemption, I will. Being vegan, I find very little at to buy at standard supermarkets.

I was excited to see that my local GP's office has added an acupuncturist to their roster. It was this same GP practice, basically 1 doctor and the APRN, who sent out surveys to their customers not once, but twice, attempting to gauge interest in a practice where you pay a whole lot of money upfront so you have 24/7 access to the doctor himself. This is a really elitist kind of practice that you see in affluent areas.

Apparently enough people who responded dissuaded him from pursuing that route, and I was happy to see that later, they added 2 more docs to their practice that enabled them to offer evening hours. And now they've got the acupuncturist. I was thinking how great it would be to see the acupuncturist for a possible 5 for 1 combo treatment: anxiety, depression, stress, insomnia and hot flashes, but unfortunately, I checked with my insurer and they don't cover acupuncture at all.

After work, I vacuumed the house.

I took my mother out to a violin concert featuring the renowned violinist Che Ho Lam. He's played at the White House (Obama's inauguration) and Carnegie Hall.

It was an hour of really great music. I loved watching him play, most of the time with his eyes closed.

If we saw him at venues like those, chances are we'd be peering at him through a pair of binoculars. But at the intimate Richter Center (seats about 50), we sat in the FRONT row and were just 5 feet away from this amazing master on the violin, accompanied by pianist Jiyang Chen.

I washed my car earlier and later noticed bird poop on it.

I am making something in the slow cooker for dinner, a stew with potatoes, cauliflower, sundried tomatoes, red kidney beans and coconut milk. It should have been done by now and is taking a really long time to cook so I am settling in with a glass of kefir and an apple.

Back to the grind tomorrow. I haven't scheduled any vacation time until May but I sure could use it, and have felt this way for weeks.

Tomorrow night I may catch Birdman, one of last year's top 10 movies, which is playing at our $2 movie theater for a limited time.

I got my new US Bank Flex Perks Travel Rewards Visa Signature card in the mail today. Gosh, what a mouthful.

You have to spend $3,500 in the 1st 4 months of getting the card to get $200 back in gift cards (or travel).

That's $875 a month, which is a lot, but if I make sure to charge everything to this one card through July, I think I'll do it.

I already spent $90 at Trader Joe's, $17 on gas and $35 on cat food at Walmart.

It was snowing all day today (crazy!) but not sticking to the roads. Tomorrow it will be back in the 40s so it should mostly melt.

My mason estimates thus far are as follows:
1st mason: $12,767, later reduced by $1,000 by cutting some materials.

2nd mason: haven't gotten the written estimate yet, but looks like no more than $8,000-something for an admittedly different configuration of the front stair/wall redo.

3rd mason: coming tomorrow

I wrote an unfavorable Amazon review about Goddess Garden Organics Sunny Body sunscreen, mainly because it's thick and pasty and is difficult to rub on and makes you look like a ghost. Someone from the company asked me to call them in a reply post, which I did, and they offered to send me some samples of other sunscreens in their product line and then if I called them back after trying them they would send me a full size replacement for the sunscreen I have. So I thought that was pretty cool, not to mention media-savvy.

I also thought I would get some estimates for weekly lawn mowings here. I just am NOT looking forward to the lawn-mowing season. It's more and more exhausting as I get older, and it takes up way too much of my time on the weekends. I had someone come over and while he guessed maybe $40 or $45, which I thought was a good price, considering all the obstacles in my yard and its size, he said he'd need to come back when the snow was gone cus he wants to see the terrain and make sure his 60" wide blades will be able to get around my yard. Mowings from May thru October at $40 a pop would total $960, not a small sum of money but something I think I'm ready to spring on. The price includes trimming and blowing.

I will call some other guys too, when the snow melts.

I see that Birdman is finally playing at our local $2 movie theater and I really want to try to see it before its show there ends next week.

Also can't wait for the annual cacti and succulent show at a local college in early April. I plan to spend a little money there and sit in on some lectures. It's a nice way to get in the spring mood.

I've mostly decided to pull up the fencing around my vegetable garden and put down grass seed where my veggie garden has been for the past 5 years or so. It was a good run, and I got some great tomatoes and many other things from it, but that garden also represented a lot of manual labor I'm just not in the mood for. Especially in the heat of summer when it was too hot to weed, it got overgrown and nearly impenetrable. And it slowed down my mowing. I will still try to grow dwarf tomatoes, herbs and maybe a few other things in pots in my driveway, which bakes in summer, but they will be easier to stay on top of there.

Of course, if someone else is mowing, I will have more time to do the garden, but I'm still not sure I want to do it anyway.

I'm taking a break from family issues today.

I took a short (half hour) walk on some town pathways. It is still pretty brisk for March and on the cold side, so I didn't dawdle!

I tried another new recipe I'd been wanting to try for the longest time, and it is definitely a keeper! It's sweet potatoes filled with an African-style peanut sauce. This would be the perfect thing to make for someone who believes that vegan food is bland and boring.

The sauce you pour into the roasted sweet potatoes is made of minced and sauteed garlic and onion, tomato sauce, fresh grated ginger, peanut butter, coriander, cumin and topped with chopped cilantro. All I can say is wow, how tasty. I cooked up 3 pounds of sweet potatoes for this, so I can bring them to work as one of my side dishes.

Being on something of a peanut butter kick today, I also made some peanut butter squares topped with melted dark chocolate chips. I probably won't make this one again but it does satisfy my peanut butter craving.

I also made time to do continue reading "Becoming Vegan."

I've also had some discussion today with the 1st mason to give me an estimate on redoing my front walkway. This is a major job..get ready...his bid came in at $12,767. I was hoping for no more than $10K.) This is why I skip, as much as humanly possible, wasting money on little doodads for the house, eating out a lot or on other stuff I don't really need, so that when it comes to capital improvements, I can do them. Not that I couldn't do a lot better at not wasting money on small stuff, but anyway that's another conversation....

The job entails creating an entirely new walkway leading from the driveway to my front door and would replace the set of 5 or 6 steep steps now leading to that same front door.

Because I've got a hill in front of my entry, making less steep stairs means starting the stairs further away so they can gently curve up the hill. There would in fact be a total of 16 steps instead of 6, and that is one thing I emailed him about after our conversation, cus I want to strike a balance between not having really steep stairs and having too many more shallow stairs. I'm wondering if 16 stairs is too much.

He would use pavers on the stairs with stone retaining walls (24 inches high) on either side to hold them in place. The entire length of the walkway he calculates at 48 feet, to give you an idea of the scale of this project. A new, slightly larger landing of about 8 x 8 would go in at the top in a half circle shape with concentric circles of pavers filling up the half circle. There are some other details associated with the job, but this is the gist of it.

His materials list shows that he needs 22 tons of bulk stone; that alone accounts for $3,080, along with 300 square fee tof pavers at $2.55 per square foot, 35 bags of cement, 5 tons of trap rock and so on.

it kind of boggles my mind that so much is needed. Here are some photos of the area in question.


This shows a portion of the existing retaining wall that runs parallel to my driveway; the stairs now leading to the front entry are to the left side of photo and are perpendicular coming up from the drive. The bottom of the new stairway would begin toward the end of this stone wall, and this stone wall would be repaired/recemented to stabilize it.


This is an older photo of the house before I got vinyl siding, but the existing staircase runs up between those 2 large round shrubs.




Here you get a good idea of the length of the entire retaining wall and a glimpse of current steps.


I plan to still get 2 other estimates before deciding what to do.

So I did call my dad yesterday, pretending it was just a random call, and he said he was "feeling better," so I had a reason to say why, what's wrong. He admitted only to a "bad cold" and said he was on his way to pick up the antibiotics and get lunch.

Perhaps it is just a bad cold or maybe it's pneumonia as he feared; in any case, I'm glad he got some meds and I will call again in a few days to see how he's doing. He doesn't like people fussing over him.

My mother is home from the hospital after calling 911 due to pain in her hand. Turns out she had colitis, which is a bacterial infection, so she, too, is on antibiotics. I will check in with her later today after I shovel myself out of the driveway.

Then my sister called last night since the nurse at the hospital called her, too, about my mother. My sister was speculating about something that was a moot point since she didn't know my mother had colitis, not the usual pain due to arthritis.

Since she called me, I told her that with Easter coming up, i really didn't want to repeat what happened at the birthday lunch we had a week ago, and that it is very stressful to have to sit through get-together after get-together when my sister is so nasty, short-tempered, irritable and snaps at my mother. Being in a restaurant didn't stop her for doing that again.

Without a doubt, my sister uses her anger to control and intimidate my mother, and it works on me too. We are both a little afraid of my sister. She is only like this, as far as I can tell, with me and my mother, although she is still generally short-tempered and very impatient.

Of course my sister got angry when I said all this and said I was putting her on a guilt trip. She acknowledged that her anger issues have nothing to do with me, but with my mother. Well, I'm there every time she sees my mother so of course I can't just ignore it.

I asked her to control herself and rise above it, reminding her my 81-year-old mother has Alzheimers and really can't help how she is, regardless of the fact my sister's issues with my mother were there years before the Alzheimer's surfaced. My sister 2 years older than me and in her 50s. She's not the type to see a therapist.

So I told my sister, why bother showing up for these family get-togethers since you are obviously so unhapyy about being there, and since you make everyone else unhappy, and why do you bother since you never lend a hand with mom? To that she replied well then I won't bother showing up. I said fine, and that was the end of the phone call.

Honestly, I'd rather not have someone like that in my life and since she's never helped out with my mother or taken any responsibility for her, I don't think I'm losing anything except a whole lot of unneeded stress and aggravation.

I vented to a friend of mine after that but it's still extremely upsetting. I didn't even bring up with my sister one more thing I know that she doesn't know I know...that's she invited my 82-year-old father who is shaky on his legs to live in her 2nd floor walk-up (outdoor stairs) loft apartment. I'm pretty sure her motivation is so she can collect some rent. And my dad's the only person in the family that she gets along with.

I already tactfully told my father I didn't think it was a great idea because of the stairs, and I even mailed him 2 listings for some very nice ranch homes, comparable to what he has now in south Jersey, but these homes are in the town my sister lives in, which is also just 15 minutes away from me.

I'd love to see him live closer to us so that I, for one, would be able to better look after him, but moving in to my sister's apartment I think is a very bad idea. If he became afraid of using those stairs, I could see him becoming very isolated in that tiny apartment, and he has no friends or other connections in Connecticut besides my sister and me.

Right now he has a beautiful ranch he's greatly improved over the years that is perfect for his needs with a large sunroom, a wood stove he uses all the time (no stove/fireplace in the apt), a small garden, a renovated luxury bath and buddies he meets at the diner every morning. He's just 2 blocks from the water and he enjoys being near the ocean.

He bought that house when he retired many years ago, but he is isolated down there as far as family goes. My 2 half brothers (from his 2nd marriage) live about 1.5 hours north of him in the Rutherford NJ area and as mentioned, my sister and I are even further north here in CT, so it would be difficult to help him in any sort of emergency medical situation.

I only found out about the planned move for my father after calling my half brother to wish him a happy birthday. He knew, but neither my sister nor my father had told me about it. My sister is always very secretive and doesn't share much about her life, so no surprise there, but my father? Perhaps because he knew I might disapprove.

Oh well. I won't say another thing about this unless my dad brings it up. People make their own decisions and I have enough on my plate already.

This morning since I was out of almond milk I tried out a recipe I'd clipped from Better Homes & Gardens back in October 2009! It turned out great...a pumpkin pudding with wheat berries (instead of rice)and I used coconut milk and topped it with soaked dried cranberries, chopped walnuts and sliced apple. Really good and quite filling. It did also include 3 eggs and I'd like to try it again with just 2 eggs and not the 1/3 cup sugar the recipe called for. It was pretty sweet.

Today and tomorrow are the usual assortment of errands including groceries, gas, checking in on my mother, etc.

I am grateful today to be working from home, in anticipation of some snow, but I'm feeling very distracted.

I called my dad's ex to wish her a happy birthday, and she told me my dad wasn't feeling well, thought he had pneumonia and is unsure whether or not he got in to see his doctor after waiting 5 hours at the hospital.

My mother called and left a wailing message the other day that her phone wasn't working, her computer wasn't working and couldn't I please help. Obviously her phone was working or she wouldn't have been able to leave me that message.

I am planning on calling my dad later today; his ex made me promise I wouldn't let him know it was her who told me about his not feeling well, so I'll have to pretend it's just a random phone call on my part. So stupid, but my dad doesn't' like people worrying about him but I need to make sure he sees a doctor as he's 81 and has diabetes, 2 risk factors and yes, i know pneumonia at his age can be dangerous.

I'm prepared to drive the 3 hours down there to help him out, maybe buy some groceries, whatever's needed, but he probably won't want me to. He lives alone; not ideal.

I'm anxious to get my next paycheck next Friday as it should reflect both my W4 adjustment and a small extra kick-in from my merit raise.

I had to fill up my oil tank. Prices rose somewhat compared to my last fill-up in January at the cheap cheap price of $2.15 a gallon. I got it for $2.49 but then saw it at $2.36 elsewhere so same day as I got the delivery I called them back as they advertise a "price guarantee." She said normally you have to tell them about the cheaper price elsewhere BEFORE you place the order but would credit me for the difference this one time. It's just a difference of $22, but psychologically I like the sound of $2.36 a gallon better than $2.49 a gallon!

Waiting for 1st mason to give me a price on redoing the front walkway and stairs to my home; a 2nd one is coming sometime today. He was supposed to come tonight but due to the expected messy weather, i called and told him i was working from home and if he wanted, he could come earlier. He's going to let me know. I suspect his price will be cheaper than the 1st guy, based solely on where these 2 different masons live: one in a high-priced town in Fairfield County, the 2nd in a depressed city in New Haven County.

I am reading a great tome of a book called Becoming Vegan. For someone who really likes to analyze and delve into details on things that interest her, this book is perfect. I am having little trouble being vegetarian, but eating vegan is much more difficult because there is cheese in practically everything you buy that doesn't have meat or fish in it. I don't have time to cook 100% of what I eat. And I also know that you can't simply go vegan and expect your nutritional needs will be met; I'm already supplementing with Vitamin D and B12, and I am armed wtih my recent bloodwork results from January physical, but I will be taking a much closer look at things. One mystery to be examined is why i haven't lost any weight. I do use some olive oil and coconut oil, but not to any great length, but I do also have a huge bowl of non-whole wheat pasta probably once a week. The sweet tooth is being contained, but not totally eradicated.

My quasi-vegan diet game plan is as follows:
1. I will eat eggs, but ONLY the truly free-range ones I get from my local organic farmer. The ones in the store may be cage-free, but the birds are still shoulder to shoulder, debeaked, etc and that just sickens me.

2. The only cheese I'm buying myself now are Parmesan or the reggiano hard cheese i grate fresh for my pasta and very occasional goat cheese. There is other cheese I'm getting on certain things I buy and don't look carefully enough at, but not a whole lot. But some.

3. No meats, fish or other dairy, generally. The meat and other dairy are pretty easy to follow and I very occasionally have a bit of fish.

I'm eating lots of fruit, veggies, beans, whole grains and even seeds. I've gotten into the habit of getting at least one container of fresh berries every week. Nuts I love anyway, but am trying to be content with some unsalted and non-roasted. Trying to avoid rice due to concerns about high arsenic levels, especially in US rice. (http://www.consumerreports.org/cro/news/2014/01/fda-data-show-arsenic-in-rice-juice-and-beer/index.htm)The study noted that more than 10 percent of the rice in China, Pakistan, and Bangladesh is estimated to have arsenic concentrations exceeding 200 ppb, while in the U.S., more than 50 percent of the rice is estimated to contain arsenic at those elevated levels

So I found another credit card deal I wanted to pursue...spend $3500 in 4 months (that's $875 a month) on a new US Bank FlexPerks Travel Rewards Visa Signature Card and you get $200 back.

I was surprised when they didn't give me an on the spot approval; instead, they said it was "under review" and that I'd get a decision by mail in 7 to 10 business days.

They asked for my employer, my income and housing payments. Perhaps it was the fact I put $0 under housing payments since I paid off the mortgage.

Hmm.....

Anyone familiar with this card?

I'm quite happy with the results of my tax filings. I knew I had to pay back $1700 for Obamacare subsidies I no longer was entitled to since my income for 2014 exceeded $46,000.

But happily, even with that expense, I will still get a $300 federal tax refund and a $710 state tax refund. I hardly ever get a big state tax refund.

I KNEW the agency I worked for prior to joining the bank was deducting way too much.

I had to refile the federal return THREE times before it was accepted. The 2 fixes I had to make did not change any of the figures on the forms.

Anyway, maybe now I can turn my attention to adjusting my witholding on a W4 form so not so much is taken out of my paycheck.

I am so tired and the day just whizzed by. Met a friend for coffee at the diner, then met my 1st of 3 contractors/masons I called for a price on redoing the front entry to my door. I have a fairly steep and narrow set of stairs built into a high stone retaining wall. I want the stairs to be wider and more shallow, in a pleasing curved form rather than the hard-edge 90-degree angle I have now. With pavers, I also want a half moon shape design at the top landing

Who knows how much all this will cost. I'm hoping not more than $10,000. I spent a fair amount of time with the guy who was highly ranked on Angie's List. I meet with the next guy on Friday.

After I finished up with him, i started in on my tax returns and only finished that at 5 p.m.

Yesterday was the birthday lunch for my sister and mother at a good Italian place. My sister was very ill-mannered as she always is, yelling at my mother at one point. I can't stand having to engage in these get-togethers when my sister is consistently ill-tempered, unhappy and abusive, and has been for years. I end up as referee between her and my mother. Yes, my mother gets on our nerves quite a bit, but could you restrain yourself from yelling in a restaurant please? Maybe we are enabling her since my mother and I both are intimidated by my sister and her constant anger and irritability. I would like to simply stop attending get-togethers that include my sister, but that of course would cause my mother to get all upset and trying to change my mind (instead of dealing with the true problem). It's just more than I can handle sometimes.

After dropping my mother off after lunch, I filled the gas tank at BJs, used a $10 free coupon at Kohl's on a little pillow and dropped off some donations at GoodWill and the library.

I am relieved that the taxes are finally done. I feel like I need a weekend to recover from my weekend. Luckily I'm working from home tomorrow as I have a mammogram in the morning. Once I get credited for that mammogram and my recent gyno appointment, I'll be able to redeem another $125 in gift cards/wellness incentives from Cigna. Nice.

I've started rewatching the Sopranos on Prime, starting at Season 1, so that I can eventually watch the final season which I never did get to see.

Six weeks later, I finally got a corrected 1095 form from the state of Connecticut. So I'll be able to do my federal and state taxes this weekend. Joy.

I'll also be going out to celebrate my sister and mother's birthdays on Saturday with them.

The snow is finally melting around here, but it's still knee high in my yard. It can't leave soon enough. My snowdrops are waiting to bloom!

There's a herd of 10 starving deer that are spending time in my yard, doing a real number on my rhododendron shrubs and eating anything they can. I will probably pick up a large bag of corn for them. Don't like their destructive habits or the ticks they spread around, but I also don't like to see them starve.

A zillion other errands this weekend; I'll see how many I can knock off my list. It's supposed to be a rainy weekend.

Monday I'll be working from home as I have a mammogram.

Tomorrow is my Amazon delivery of some vegan books I ordered.