Home > Losses


November 1st, 2017 at 12:20 am

I am deeply saddened to learn today of the death of one of my old boyfriends. He's the last person I would think might die early, at age 60, because he led a pretty healthy lifestyle, and in fact taking long walks was one of our shared common interests.

Do you remember the neurologist I dated back in 2008? Those of you who have been reading me for a while may remember. Well, it was him. He had multiple myeloma, which is a relatively rare cancer of the plasma cells.

I only found out today as I was perusing medical news headlines at work, and I came across Pro Publica's doctor database where you can look up how much money they were paid by pharma companies to act basically as a shill. My own neurologist has this down to a science and made something like $80K in 2015 alone speaking to MS patients like me for many different drug companies.

I checked out a few of my other doctors and stopped to think of another one when my old boyfriend B. came to mind. He's also a neurologist. I can't recall my thought process at the time, but something led me to just google his name outside the Pro Publica site, and that's when I got a page of search results with an obituary near the top.

I was so shocked and I still am in disbelief. It said he'd fought the disease for a long time. Half the patients who have it live for 5 years, some longer. It's possible he was diagnosed in the year or two that followed our breakup. Here I thought...assumed...he quickly found someone to replace me. He died a year ago, about a week before Thanksgiving.

I am very sad. He was a good guy. And I remember he worked so hard but like most people had hopes for an enjoyable retirement. It was going to take him a while to get where he wanted to be, financially, because he had to pay his ex-wife hefty alimony, her healthcare til she turned 65, plus the full cost of his two sons' college tuition. One of the sons was still in college at the time of his death. Only after that, he felt, could he really sock away good money for retirement. I hope he got to enjoy some of that earlier.

3 Responses to “Losses”

  1. Carol Says:

    I'm sorry. It seems to me to hit very hard when we lose a peer, especially as you say, one who seems to live in a healthy way. And 60 is young!

  2. Tabs Says:

    I see you're into brainy guys. I'm sorry I couldn't resist that bad joke.

    But yes, I do recall you writing about him. I'm sorry it didn't work out then, and now, I'm sorry to hear that he passed away so early.

  3. Dido Says:

    I am so sorry to hear of this. One of my friends has been struggling with multiple myeloma for about five years. I do hope that, once he was diagnosed, that he was able to take time to enjoy life.

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