. Another major holiday is approaching. Not really being religious, I never really thought of Easter as a major holiday, but truth be told, it was one of 3 major holidays, not including Mother's Day and our respective birthdays, when we all got together.
Now that mom is gone and I still have no relationship with my sister, the approaching holiday has been causing some stress. I know if I did nothing on Sunday and stayed home alone I would be depressed and sad after 55 years of always having someplace to go.
I thought about past Easters when I would buy some flowers or sometimes bring even a homemade Easter basket for my mother and sister. I think about how some years, when Easter was warm and sunny, how both me and my sister, I think, shared a secret longing to not have to show up for Easter because we both just wanted to stay home and plant stuff in the yard and otherwise enjoy the weather outdoors instead of being holed up in my mother's condo where she never opened the windows (due to her allergies). Now i would give anything to have another Easter with mom.
So I asked my friend R. if he was going to his niece's home for Easter, knowing full well that he would be, and hoping he would invite me to come. That's what he did, and so I am feeling weepy and grateful to have a family to spend Easter with.
This past week when I was in various stores I would see the aisles with all the Easter bunny chocolates and lilies, and it all reminded me of Easters past, and it was terribly depressing to think I had no one to buy little Easter treats for.
Now I have my friend's niece's 2 daughters to buy for, plus his sister and niece. I feel so relieved. I am waiting to hear back whether there's a dish I can bring. It's almost like having my adopted 2nd family.
R. and I are like fire and ice. (I'm a Leo, He's Aires.) When I fell in love with him about 30 years ago, we fought a lot, and that hasn't changed all that much over the years. But we are both mature enough to get over our quarrels and enjoy the good things about our friendship.
He is one person who perfectly understands how I feel about my mother's loss, as he was very close to both his parents and still grieves for them. In fact I might say he taught me things about family I never really knew coming from a divorced family and a sibling I wasn't close to.
Easter plans
April 14th, 2017 at 11:42 pm
April 15th, 2017 at 01:30 am 1492219848
April 15th, 2017 at 05:33 am 1492234429
April 15th, 2017 at 10:13 am 1492251234
Dido, that is a sad story about the 2 boyfriends. Well, Tom in particular. It sort of reminds me when I was dating the doctor. He would always talk in terms of the future saying "I'm" going to do this," or "maybe when I'm retired I'll do that..." and not once would he venture a "we." You never know how a relationship will work out, but this was the only one where he seemed unwilling to consider a future with "we." I found it depressing and unsettling although I never mentioned it to him. It's nice that you are still in touch with Jim's siblings. I don't know how you get used to it and the prospect of floundering around every holiday, every year is not one I look forward to. Thanksgiving is possibly my favorite holiday. I love food!
April 15th, 2017 at 01:38 pm 1492263536
April 15th, 2017 at 01:40 pm 1492263604
Having a routine for the holidays and getting used to the idea that it is just a handful of days each year makes it easier with time, but still not easy.
April 15th, 2017 at 03:39 pm 1492270798
April 15th, 2017 at 03:48 pm 1492271301
April 16th, 2017 at 08:50 pm 1492375819