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Easter plans

March 26th, 2016 at 11:36 pm

Although none of us in my family are very religious, I am finding that facing the upcoming holiday without my mom is kind of tough. With our fragmented family (early divorce) I also never felt we had very strong family traditions like some families do, but now that mom's gone I foresee many lonely future holidays if I don't make an effort to find something to do.

Turns out dad is having Easter dinner at my sister's, where I imagine sister's significant other will also be. It makes me feel like an outsider because I have not been invited. Would I have gone if I was? No, definitely not without having a long overdue talk.

Neither one of us has called the other. It does make me angry she can't even bring herself to call me, but I imagine, after finally seeing my mother during the last week of her life with advanced Alzheimer's last December, she must surely understand how angry I must be that she just walked away from us. But still, ZERO communication. Not one effort to try to clear the air, or heck, just to see where we stand. That one could so easily throw away a relationship with a sister astounds me. (Although it wasn't much of a relationship to begin with.)

I don't think my dad says much to her about things I tell him. He seems to prefer to stay out of it and he isn't taking sides.

But anyway, I called dad tonight to see if he might have an interest in the small pile of driveway pavers that the masons set aside; I think they were cut incorrectly or otherwise imperfect. I thought dad might be able to use them since he had plans to build some raised beds at my sister's.

The masons also left 8 empty wood pallets which the pavers were delivered in. I'm pretty sure they're untreated wood, since they're considered disposable and not meant to be reused. So you could use them with veggie beds, altho i guess they would also rot quickly as a result.

He suggested Easter breakfast at the diner, which we'll do. And he'll come over on Tuesday, my next work at home day, to see the completed driveway and pick up the imperfect pavers and pallets (after I doublecheck with my mason to make sure that's ok).

I picked up a nice pot of jumbo grape hyacinths for R.'s niece, whose dinner I'll be going to. I also settled on a side dish to make, one that's super easy and attractive to look at, my corn/blackbean/tomato salad. I can throw it together in the morning. but oh no. I think i should have picked up edamame for it and now i realize i don't have it. Darn.

My downstairs TV with Roku is suddenly not working due to "failed connection" error. The Roku upstairs works fine. It's so incredibly annoying when a company sells a product they KNOW has some bugs in it and sells it anyway!

Today while the masons were working their magic, I ran my errands. I got the low air pressure indicator as soon as I left the house, something which has happened several times. I had purchased a cheap AARP air compressor which i don't like using becus it sometimes gets stuck on the tire valve and i can't get it off. So I decided that despite the nearly mandatory 2-hour wait at Town Fair Tire on a Saturday I HAD to bring the car in there since i have a 50-minute drive tomorrow for Easter dinner.

While they checked out the car, I walked over to Boston Market for an early (11 a.m.) lunch. This place always has a bittersweet feel for me becus I often stopped here after stuffing my car with my mother's stuff, exhausted, as I was trying to empty out her condo, and I also picked up lunch here a few times to bring it to my mom's when she was still living up the road. So it always conjures up these memories.

After lunch, I walked to Walmart to kill some time and happily, they were through with my car earlier than expected. They found a nail in the tire (!) so guess I'm real glad I didn't just keep driving on the tire.

After that I went to Lowe's where i bought the Easter plant, and then BJs. Also filled up the gas tank, went to the transfer station with my trash, and yoga

7 Responses to “Easter plans”

  1. LuckyRobin Says:

    Okay, as someone who has had major sister issues, I have to tell you, if you want a relationship with your sister, even if she is the one who has done you wrong, you will have to swallow your pride, reach out, and rebuild the relationship. It is tough, but it is worth it. I never, ever thought I would have any relationship with my eldest sister. She did things that were hard to forgive, and she knew she was in the wrong but couldn't see how to get around that or admit it. When I finally let go of it and pursued the relationship again, she surprised me by responding and we have slowly built up something more than we ever had before. Life is way too short. If you want it, make it happen. She's not going to, so you'll need to. Call her up and tell her you want to see her, you miss her, and that you want to have a heart to heart talk. If she fails to respond, then you'll at least know that you took the high ground and you truly tried to fix what is wrong. Is there a possibility she will still reject you? Yes. But what if she doesn't? I think it is worth the risk.

  2. PatientSaver Says:

    Thanks for your response, LR. But I DONT want a relationship with my sister. I am way too angry at her for that.

  3. CB in the City Says:

    Don't be hard on your father for not taking sides. It is not his fight. He is doing the right thing by staying neutral and continuing to pursue loving relationships with both of you. I am in this position with my two DIL's, and it is the most difficult and painful thing in my life right now.

  4. Ima saver Says:

    I think this is pretty common, what you are going thru. When my mother died, my sister moved into her house, changed the locks, and took everything. She never spoke to me again. (She also lost custody of her two small daughters. She had a drug problem that only ended with her death at age 59)
    My husband is having the same problem with his brother now. His father died, the brother inherited everything, then asked for my husband to pay the taxes and for the funeral. When he said no, the brother has not spoken to him since.

  5. PatientSaver Says:

    CB, you don't have to worry about that. I don't blame my father for not taking sides. He is very dear to me.

    Ima, that's a terrible story. I'm so sorry about your sister, and your brother in law. It's never easy.

  6. livingalmostlarge Says:

    Happy Easter. I hope that you have a good day anyway.

  7. FrugalTexan75 Says:

    I hope your Easter went well having brunch with your dad.

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