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Home > 365 Days of Gratitude, Day 1

365 Days of Gratitude, Day 1

January 1st, 2016 at 08:30 pm



These are just a few of my mother's handmade ornaments. I am grateful for many little treasures like these.

In other news, Patient Saver is tired. It is a huge effort to do most things. I think I'm doing fairly well and then I break down in tears. Like, inexplicably, when I was cleaning the cat litter box. Or when I was getting ready to get in the shower. I cannot help all the thoughts of so many different things swirling around in my head.

Yesterday was a nicer day. I called my dad to confirm he was coming to the funeral and he wanted to meet me for lunch. As it turned out, I was planning on going into his town anyway to run an errand so we agreed to meet in front of the bandstand. I always feel better after spending time with him and so I felt better. But I still have not gone a day without crying for, I don't know, at least 4 weeks now.

We'll get through it. Sunday will be the hardest day of all, but eventually, things will ease up. I don't know how I'll function when I'm back at work next Wednesday, but crossing that bridge when I come to it.

I'll close with a beautiful quote from Rumi, the 13th century Persian poet.

"Goodbyes are only for those who love with their eyes. Because for those who love with heart and soul, there is no separation."

Posted in Uncategorized | 13 Comments »

13 Responses to “365 Days of Gratitude, Day 1”

  1. Ima saver Says:
    January 1st, 2016 at 09:18 pm 1451683082
    1451683082

    That was beautiful. Thinking of you.

  2. CB in the City Says:
    January 1st, 2016 at 09:29 pm 1451683761
    1451683761

    Beautiful quote. Eventually you will realize you've spent a day without crying, and you'll be on the mend. Till then, it is only right that you grieve for your mother. Hold those memories close and let them comfort you.

  3. rob62521 Says:
    January 1st, 2016 at 09:29 pm 1451683799
    1451683799

    Beautiful thought and gorgeous ornaments! Hang in there. It is OK to cry. Just take care of yourself and if the waterworks start, let them. It is healthy.

  4. Carol Says:
    January 1st, 2016 at 09:44 pm 1451684677
    1451684677

    A good friend told me after my dad died to expect to cry at odd times. I found that to be true. Now if I cry, I just think I am crying out of love. I expect you are also crying out of being overwhelmed and being tired. In reality, you having been coping wyith huge amounts of worry and doing in a relatively short time. It will all come right.
    That Rumi quote really rings true. ((Hugs))

  5. Househopeful Says:
    January 1st, 2016 at 10:40 pm 1451688032
    1451688032

    That quote is beautiful. I am so sorry for your loss.

  6. Laura S. Says:
    January 1st, 2016 at 10:46 pm 1451688378
    1451688378

    My grandmother died at the young age of 47 on New Year's Day 1975. I cried thinking about her today. I love the quote. Thank you for sharing.

  7. NJDebbie Says:
    January 1st, 2016 at 11:26 pm 1451690795
    1451690795

    Beautiful ornaments PS. Please know I continue to think of you always. ((HUGS))

  8. FrugalTexan75 Says:
    January 2nd, 2016 at 12:12 am 1451693569
    1451693569

    Even 3 1/2 years later I still start crying out of the blue thinking about my dad. It doesn't happen as often as it did the first six months or so.

    Thank you for sharing the ornaments - beautiful.

  9. ceejay74 Says:
    January 2nd, 2016 at 12:48 am 1451695707
    1451695707

    Beautiful! I'm glad you're still doing this challenge; hopefully it will help in some small way.

  10. VS_ozgirl Says:
    January 2nd, 2016 at 08:51 am 1451724714
    1451724714

    Lovely ornaments and the gratitude challenge is a wonderful idea! I know many years ago,when my father passed away, I cried lots. Daily. It will get better. The first year is hard because there are so many things that you would normally share and they're no longer there, but eventually it gets better. You stop crying and just remember the happy stuff. I hope the gratitude challenge helps you.

  11. Dido Says:
    January 2nd, 2016 at 06:16 pm 1451758590
    1451758590

    I love the ornaments, and the quote. And I'm very glad you had some time with your Dad, and still have a few days away from work to process and grieve. Hugs.

  12. Thrifty Ray Says:
    January 4th, 2016 at 02:30 am 1451874604
    1451874604

    It is tough to let go of our parents and close such an important chapter of our lives. Allow yourself time to mourn- there is no right or wrong way as long as it is true to yourself and what you are feeling. XO friend.

  13. ThriftoRama Says:
    January 6th, 2016 at 01:14 pm 1452086041
    1452086041

    The ornaments are beautiful, the poem is beautiful. It is so true. I wish I could tell you that grief was a straight line, that it followed some trajectory where in the future, you wouldn't cry anymore, but I can't. It's been nearly 8 years since I lost my dad and 9 since I lost my grandpa, and sometimes I still burst into tears missing them. It comes in waves. But I embrace it. It means they are still in my heart, and my love for them will never die. You are in the hard days now. Holding it together so you can take care of the mechanics of wrapping up a life. There will be more, deeper, and different kinds of tears and grieving when it's done.

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