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Buoyed

December 30th, 2015 at 01:54 am

Aside from my MS, I've never really experienced a true crisis in life. The MS was something I was afraid to talk to others about, so I mostly kept it to myself unless you were very close to me.

Now, my mother's died, and it feels like a real crisis, but I've been so buoyed by others' support....I feel like I'm bobbing in the ocean...feeling lost and rudderless... and friends I've known at different times of my life are all reaching out to steady me on a life raft of support.

Friends of my mothers who responded to the group email I sent out to share how they met my mother and what she meant to them. My own friends, who have told me they're coming to pay their respects. I am myself afraid of wakes, and seeing dead bodies, so for someone to tell me they're coming kind of makes my heart leap with gratitude.

I just got a random call now from my neighbors. We never really hang out together, but we periodically have these long talks on the phone where I feel like I can tell her anything at all. She told me they'd be there even though I didn't ask them to come as I don't want people who might feel like I do about funerals that they have to show up.

And then of course there's all of YOU who have touched me with your comments. Thank you, friends.

I want to share with you one of my favorite photos of my mother, taken just 2 years ago. She's wearing her favorite turquoise shirt with her turquoise nugget necklace that goes so well with her blue eyes. I love this photo because, somehow, the photographer brought out her kind and gentle spirit.



I feel so uplifted I'm worried I will do a nose dive after the funeral when all that support gradually goes away. Guess I'll cross that bridge when I come to it.

Posted in Uncategorized | 21 Comments »

21 Responses to “Buoyed”

  1. Wink Says:
    December 30th, 2015 at 02:06 am 1451441210
    1451441210

    Beautiful! Such kind eyes and vibrant smile. Remember her just like this.

  2. creditcardfree Says:
    December 30th, 2015 at 02:39 am 1451443181
    1451443181

    What a beautiful picture! Your emotions will be everywhere. I'm so happy that you have people to support you. My mother is one who goes to nearly every funeral of someone she knew or those parents of friends (who she didn't necessarily know). It's most important to be there for those left behind...for support and comfort in a time of grief. You are going to feel lots of different things at different times and it is okay. ((Hugs))

  3. Dido Says:
    December 30th, 2015 at 02:41 am 1451443268
    1451443268

    What a lovely photo. I am glad you are finding support.

  4. laura Says:
    December 30th, 2015 at 03:21 am 1451445684
    1451445684


    So beautiful! Clearly someone who loved life. Such a warm and comfortable aura. So happy you have the picture to treasure along with memories. Again, wishing you peace and comfort.

  5. Deb Says:
    December 30th, 2015 at 06:52 am 1451458365
    1451458365

    A beautiful picture! Once you come up from the depths of sadness, pictures like this will make you smile and remember happy times and good memories. Hugs.

  6. MonkeyMama Says:
    December 30th, 2015 at 01:22 pm 1451481765
    1451481765

    Beautiful picture! Thanks for sharing.

  7. Jenn Says:
    December 30th, 2015 at 01:27 pm 1451482027
    1451482027

    Your mom was a beautiful woman. Thanks for sharing - it puts a face to the stories you've shared over the years.

  8. Laura S. Says:
    December 30th, 2015 at 01:45 pm 1451483112
    1451483112

    Thank you for sharing. Thinking of you during this time. Hang in there, we are all here for you.

  9. Turtle Lover Says:
    December 30th, 2015 at 01:53 pm 1451483607
    1451483607

    I thank you for sharing your journey and I hope you feel free to continue to do so. My heart goes out to you ((hugs))

  10. Butterscotch Says:
    December 30th, 2015 at 02:28 pm 1451485738
    1451485738

    Lovely...a wonderful way to remember her.

  11. Carol Says:
    December 30th, 2015 at 02:29 pm 1451485758
    1451485758

    Thank you for sharing the picture-- beautiful--and thank you for sharing such sweet thoughts. I hope you will continue to be buoyed up-- we are all on this human journey together.

  12. PNW Mom Says:
    December 30th, 2015 at 02:41 pm 1451486517
    1451486517

    What a beautiful picture! Thanks for sharing

  13. mich Says:
    December 30th, 2015 at 02:50 pm 1451487005
    1451487005

    She is beautiful. So stunning.

  14. Allison Says:
    December 30th, 2015 at 03:09 pm 1451488180
    1451488180

    Your mother is beautiful! I am so sorry for your loss.

  15. Analise Says:
    December 30th, 2015 at 05:11 pm 1451495478
    1451495478

    Thank you for sharing this lovely photo of your mother. Her beautiful spirit shines through her eyes and she looks strong and capable. She left a wonderful legacy in you and in her art. My best to you always.

  16. Ima saver Says:
    December 30th, 2015 at 09:37 pm 1451511445
    1451511445

    She is a beautiful woman and you look a lot like her! I am so sorry for your loss, but she went quickly, thank goodness.

  17. ceejay74 Says:
    December 30th, 2015 at 10:58 pm 1451516323
    1451516323

    Your mother was gorgeous! I just read your last post and got weepy, trying to think of what to say. This post is choking me up to, but was so wonderful to read. Glad you're getting and enjoying lots of support.

  18. NJDebbie Says:
    December 31st, 2015 at 01:29 am 1451525347
    1451525347

    Your Mom was a beautiful lady. Thank you for sharing the picture with us.((HUGS))

  19. FrugalTexan75 Says:
    December 31st, 2015 at 01:48 am 1451526506
    1451526506

    Your mom was so beautiful.

  20. LuckyRobin Says:
    December 31st, 2015 at 03:54 am 1451534098
    1451534098

    You probably will nose dive later, but it is a perfectly normal thing to have happen. Allow yourself to go into it for a couple of days and then emerge from it and ask for the support you need. If not in real life, then here. The folks here will do what they can to boost your spirits. Just ask.

    The color your mother is wearing is one of my favorite colors. I love how it brings out how strikingly blue her eyes are.

  21. CB in the City Says:
    December 31st, 2015 at 11:54 am 1451562886
    1451562886

    Oh, she was so pretty! Just let others buoy you up for now and don't worry about the future. It will take care of itself. I found I adjusted to the losses in my life more easily than I ever expected I could. Maybe easily isn't the right word -- maybe gracefully? We can surprise ourselves in our resilience. And it is true that you have friends to support you, both here and in your real life.

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