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Today's doings

September 27th, 2015 at 01:40 am

1. Out before 9 to load up my car with 4 or 5 small boxes of old, leaking artists' paints, turpentine and who knows what other toxic chemicals my mother used to clean her brushes and so on. I dropped them off at the household hazardous waste drop off site, an event they have just once or twice a year, so i was glad to dispose of this and make room in my garage again.

2. Back to the condo. Buyer doesn't want the shelves there so with my little power screwdriver, I made quick work of taking down shelves in two rooms and a picture hanging system my mom had in lower level. The shelving brackets and screws I'll drop off at the landfill for metal recycling but I'll keep the picture hanging system. Someday, when I move into my little condo, I'll put these up on 2 walls of my office, maybe, and hang lots of art there. It saves you from putting lots of holes in the walls.

While there I STILL managed to stuff my car with odds and ends. I really AM getting to almost totally clearing out the condo.

3. The tears came on the way home. Each time I go to the condo there's less and less of my mom there. I have literally stripped away every remnant of her old life, and she can never return to it again. Does that sound like guilt? Yes. It's there, even as I know that letting her continue to live alone with worsening Alzheimers was like waiting for a really scary shoe to drop.

On the way home I stopped at assisted living place and left payment. So I'm paying over $5,000 and my mother's not even there, but what can I do? The goal is to get her back to Maplewood asap. It will be a few weeks. Money down the drain. The alternative would be to pay the same (or more) money to a nursing home, which would offer much less quality of life.

I'll keep my mother living at Maplewood for as long as her money lasts her, while she can still enjoy it. I am guessing that if she is well enough to return to Maplewood in a few weeks, they are going to escalate her to "Level 1" level of care, because she'll need assistance with daily tasks of living and so on. I believe it's a $1200 monthly bump-up in price for each of several levels of care. Luckily, I had negotiated a 1-year reprieve from paying Level 1 once my mother progressed to that stage. Once I do have to start paying it, it will just accelerate the draining of her savings.

I have a feeling my mother's life will never be the same again. She hasn't made much progress yet with physical rehab though she seems to be healing fine. She had a number of medical issues that interfered with her being able to start the rehab sooner, like a UTI and issues with pain from the surgery. So she lay in bed for a week at the hospital, and sat around in a wheelchair mostly for another full week at the rehab place, often delusional and completely out of it.

I had a meeting with the folks there last Thursday and we agreed to delay finalizing any rehab plan until Tuesday, so they'd have more time to assess what they think she's really capable of. I'm afraid all this sitting around has further weakened her so that when she does finally does begin the rehab in earnest, she'll be starting from an even lower level and have a real uphill battle. With the dementia, you can't really even emphasize how important it is that she focus on the rehab exercises and all.

It's just all so sad. I know this is what often happens to elderly people, and eventually, they die, but it's been very painful to watch my mother, who, while she has dementia, was in pretty darn good shape physically just 3 weeks ago. Now she's not supposed to stand up without assistance.

4. Came home and slowly unloaded everything from the car into the basement and garage. Sorted through what I was taking to the landfill and left that in the car.

5. Changed the hummingbird sugar water. Haven't seen a hummer lately; they may have already left for the season.

6. Made a double batch of my granola.

7. Watered all my potted outdoor plants.

8. Packed up the latest shipment of roving for a NY buyer who has bought all my previous roving. USPS will pick up from my doorstep on Monday.

9. I dragged a 36" round glass tabletop sitting in my garage and brought it into dining room on top of a new rattan luggage rack I bought at Bed Bath & Beyond. Cleaned it up. Looks good. I piled it full of my wool yarns. By consolidating my yarns and bringing more into the dining room, I was able to clear a folding table that was filled with yarns in my family room.

I dragged the folding table up to the attic where it can be put to good use tidying up there. (The attic needs attention too.) But now, at least, there is more room to move around in the family room.

Which is important as I am donating my couch in another week or so to Make a Home Foundation and I'll have to clear a path through there. I'm really tired of that couch but don't plan to buy a replacement right away. Cus it would just be another piece of furniture I'd worry the cats would be scratching.

Once it's gone, there'll be more room to stack my mother's art against the walls as I very slowly dispose of it.

I'm also selling for $25 a gold slipper chair I bought years ago. When it was delivered I immediately didn't like the color or fabric but didn't want to have to return it, so I've lived with it all these years. It's a thin chenille type fabric and after I sold it (the woman still hasn't picked it up) I noticed what could have been cat spit-up (clear). So i dabbed the spot with a damp paper towel and then let it dry, and now there's a noticeable mark on it just from my dabbing it! I hope she still takes it. I'll be glad to see that thing go. Another scratching post taking up space.

10. Ran down to the organic farm and bought some fresh tomatoes, potatoes, apples and a dozen eggs, which technically isn't vegan.

11. Posted some red bricks for sale on Facebook. I have about 300 that I dug up from north side of house where I had a little walkway but it's completely overgrown and all I want there is grass. I took pix of the bricks (2 types) and a guy said when could he come over to see them. They're bricks, man! A brick is a brick! .25 each. It occurred to me that he could come here to "see" the bricks and then decide he didn't want them, but come back later when I wasn't home and just take them from the driveway. I would like to sell them, becus .25 a piece doesn't sound like much but x 300 it's $75.

Anyway, I felt it was a pretty productive day. So glad I was able to get all the shelving down at the condo. I was also going to spackle all the holes, but darned if I didn't leave the joint compound in my garage this morning when I left. Will have to do it later.

All that's left to do with the handyman is move the bed/headboard, sewing cabinet, a small particleboard cabinet and 2 large boxes of poster board or something. THAT'S IT. I'm tired.

Tomorrow will visit mom, get gas and get groceries, probably at BJs. Would be great to squeeze in some yard work.

6 Responses to “Today's doings”

  1. FrugalTexan75 Says:

    You are such a productive person. The lists of things you accomplish on the weekends make me tired, while at the same time awed.

    I get to the weekend and feel good about unloading the dishwasher and maybe making a batch of pancakes ... the rest of it is spent just trying to recuperate from work.

  2. PatientSaver Says:

    Ha, ha paid me a nice compliment. YOu know what they say...if you have a lot of time, your productivity goes way down, but when your time is limited, you become super resourceful. I know that's certainly the case with me!

  3. alice4now Says:

    I'm really impressed with the way you are dealing with your mom's changes. I'm sure it is an emotional issue to deal with, on top of taking care of your own life.

  4. PatientSaver Says:

    Thanks, Alice. I often feel I can deal with the condo sale and nuts and bolts type of stuff much easier than I can with my mother's recovery. Sometimes, though I worry about her a great deal, I feel reluctant to go see her because I don't know what I'm going to find. It's been so up and down.

  5. creditcardfree Says:

    Just a thought that your guilt may be more about grieving your mother and the loss of her health and home. Seems normal to me. I don't think you should feel guilty as you didn't cause any of these events. You are doing so well getting her the care she needs.

  6. rob62521 Says:

    My heart goes out to you as you write about your mom. It isn't easy and there are no answers. Hang in there. You are doing right by her.

    You are amazing at all your accomplish!

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