Home > The assisted living place

The assisted living place

August 2nd, 2014 at 11:40 pm

I had an appointment to meet with the director of the assisted living place they're constructing in next town over. While the private apartments were small...just 600 square feet for the 1 bedroom, probably the coolest thing about it was that they recently "bought a farm," and in a few years time, they expect to provide 85% of all the food served at the place from this farm, including veggies, grass-fed beef, eggs, and even milk.

They have a lot of communal spaces including an art studio.

But it doesn't really seem doable, given the incredible cost. For the one bedroom, it's $6,550 a month, or $78,600 a year. If I calculate the sale of her condo, her savings and what my mother gets annually in Social Security, she'd deplete her savings within 4 years. Yes, um, 4 years, when she would be 84. After which she'd have to leave, probably for a nursing home, whether she was ready for one or not, becus at that point she'd be broke.

I also studied the website of Masonicare assisted living, which is right in my town. This place is different becus it's non-profit. Unlike the first place, they require a large ($110,000) lump sum down, but then the monthly cost is in the range of $2,100. In that scenario, her money would last for 12 years. Big difference.

Both places handle the meals and offer local transportation to shopping and doc appointments when needed.

Seems that first place I visited is really designed for wealthy families, not us.

My sister and I are going back to talking about hiring someone through an agency to come in on a regular basis to do whatever or just be with her. That won't be cheap either, but I think it will be cheaper than the above 2 scenarios and she wouldn't have to give up half her stuff to squeeze into such a small space. Although the big plus about the assisted living places is their built-in social aspects with lots of activities and other people to get friendly with.

The hardest part will be getting my mother to go along with any of these options, once she hears the price. Having power of attorney and a joint bank account with her, I could just go and do it, but I'd rather she didn't hate me for doing that, so I'll have to be patient (NEVER my strongest virtue) and wheedle her into it.

Tomorrow's my birthday, so we'll be over there and bringing lunch. We will bring up the topic, although I'm not prepared to talk in great detail as I haven't done all my homework. There is so much to be done, and at work I have ZERO privacy to talk on the phone, so whenever I make a call I have to go to the stairwell, and people can't call me back given my lack of privacy.

I want to try to get my mother to give up the computer, for good. She's been calling me lately about how she can't remember her password and is leaving me frustrated messages. She really doesn't need it and mostly uses email, but mostly it just stresses her (and me) out.

I found a third yellow jacket nest in my lawn, but since it's been sort of rainy all day, I won't spray tonight.

I cooked up a bunch of zucchini and squash tonight in a casserole with sun dried tomatoes, onion, parmesan cheese and cubed stale foccacia I'd frozen a month ago. It came out pretty good. I am so tired of sauteed, watery squashes, or even roasted.

I filled up the gas tank and bought a few groceries (well, $70 worth, that's more than a few) at BJs.

4 Responses to “The assisted living place”

  1. Wisewoman Says:

    Wow. I'm shocked by the amount per year and the up front funds. Most do not have hundreds of thousands of dollars to put into a place let alone thousands per month. I can't fathom the cost 30 plus years from now.

  2. Joanie Says:

    You mentioned your mother "leaving for a nursing home whether she needed one or not because she would be broke". I just went through something similar for the past 2 years with my mom who saved nothing for her old age (and assisted living places here in Northern California run $4000. per month and up, up, up). Medicare DOES NOT pay for a nursing home, board & care or assisted-type living. If you need skilled nursing, have no assets other that $2500., and have been approved (which can take up to a year) - Medi-Cal will pay (medi-cal is the california version of the national program).
    It is sobering and I see how people lose everything and go into massive debt trying to do the right thing for their loved ones.

  3. snafu Says:

    Has your mom had an gerontological assessment to verify her cognitive abilities to identify any level of impairment? I recall your earlier discussion and have the impression that you and your sister will need to agree to a plan and how to split the huge time commitment that will be needed in the future.

    I hope it's ok to offer some random thoughts in hopes of being helpful. I think it would be helpful to check all the various types/levels of assisted living. Do the churches or service organizations operate facilities or le day care for seniors? What federal and state programs or aid is available? What are the cut off figures?

    Perhaps a birthday celebration is better enjoyed than cause strife and stress with upsetting talk about moving. What is the best approach to help your mom understand the changes you propose? Have you found it too difficult to review finances and balance the bank statement with mom's figures?

    Getting mom's house ready to sell is a huge project. Any of us who have had to undertake that work have been overwhelmed by the time and work involved. I suggest learning which charity organizations take which items and those that have pick up service. Much can be sold but it takes an incredible number of hours to prep and sell the more valuable things on-line or yard sale while you listen to disparaging remarks.

  4. snafu Says:

    Belated Happy Birthday, I hope visit with mom and sister was enjoyable.

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