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It's snowing

January 21st, 2012 at 07:10 pm

We have about 4 inches on the ground and it seems like it's winding down. I see a snow shovel in my future.

Just wanted to say thanks again for the incredibly kind and encouraging words from all of you on my latest job-related disappointment.

It was odd that she never got back to me on Friday after I answered her email that yes, I was still interested in the scaled back (p/t) job and when next week would you like to meet?

This a.m., I saw that they had posted the job on CareerBuilder. I guess that means I'm not a shoo-in and that they will be going through the whole candidate selection process once again.

I toyed with the idea of reapplying on the job board just to reaffirm my interest, but heck, she knows I'm interested. It kind of would feel like groveling. Instead, I applied today for an editor job doing puzzles for a small publisher about 50 minutes away. This job is full-time and offers benefits, so though I sense it also would be low-paying, I applied due to the medical coverage and normal benefits.

As soon as I pay off the mortgage, money will be less important than medical coverage. Of course, I still want to make as much as I can because I will reach my financial goals more quickly, but in terms of getting by, I can do so with a very low salary IF they offer standard benefits.

I've been having these anxiety dreams, usually in the form of me driving in a car and losing control. Either I can't seem to find the brake pedal or, more often, the car is careening backwards off a cliff or rolling down a hill, and I know that in a few split seconds, the car will hit a tree or something and I'm scared out of my mind. Or sometimes, I dream that I've witnessed a crime or have another urgent need to call 911 but the phone won't connect the call or I wait and there's no connection or I get an interminable busy signal and I keep running to look for other phones to try or to spot a police officer and time is running out.

Last night I made a pretty good frittata with sun-dried tomatoes, goat cheese, caramelized onions, fresh basil and I think it was about 5 eggs. It would have been even better with bacon or ham, but I've given up processed meats for health reasons. Asparagus might also be a nice addition. It was super easy to make and even fit in my toaster oven.

I am still feeling very negative about employers in general. I think what happened is the publisher didn't realize that by asking me if I'd be interested in a full-time job, it really, really got my hopes up. And then it was just sloppy of them to have done so, becus it then turned into a p-t job. I suppose they could care less how it might personally affect a job-seeker, and she probably doesn't realize how much I WANT and NEED a f/t job, but still. Get your act together first before putting out feelings to possible job candidates.

I'm trying not to dwell on it but it may take another day or two. I guess it hurt a little more becus I've already worked with these people and would hope they'd be a little more ... human about it. It's like dangling a carrot in front of a starving person and then saying, hmm, well, I don't know, how about a half a carrot? But you know what? Maybe I won't give you any carrot at all, I really have to think about it.

4 Responses to “It's snowing”

  1. Looking Forward Says:

    That frittata sounds amazing! Yum!

    This might be crazy, but perhaps you can offer yourself to the next poss. employer at a "discount" ($10/hr?) for the first month or two. If it works out they pay you your asking price of $25/hr.
    Make them realize you are so good they don't want to find someone else.

  2. scrappytappy Says:

    Ohh I know the dreams you're describing! My best friend had an abusive ex husband. Ever since her divorce, I have had this recurring dream that he comes back and is hurting her. The damn call to police won't go through in my dreams. They are so vivid and horrible! Unfortunately, there's no way to escape bad dreams. I always wake up feeling unsettled and bad for a few days. :/

  3. Jerry Says:

    I know what you mean about looking for the health insurance and other benefits initially, even at the cost of lower pay. We have been in a similar boat before, ourselves, but at least it leads you to be able to move from month to month. Good luck!

  4. Dido Says:

    Those dreams sound horrid--must make it hard to go to sleep!

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