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December 29th, 2015 at 05:54 pm

Aside from my MS, I've never really experienced a true crisis in life. The MS was something I was afraid to talk to others about, so I mostly kept it to myself unless you were very close to me.

Now, my mother's died, and it feels like a real crisis, but I've been so buoyed by others' support....I feel like I'm bobbing in the ocean...feeling lost and rudderless... and friends I've known at different times of my life are all reaching out to steady me on a life raft of support.

Friends of my mothers who responded to the group email I sent out to share how they met my mother and what she meant to them. My own friends, who have told me they're coming to pay their respects. I am myself afraid of wakes, and seeing dead bodies, so for someone to tell me they're coming kind of makes my heart leap with gratitude.

I just got a random call now from my neighbors. We never really hang out together, but we periodically have these long talks on the phone where I feel like I can tell her anything at all. She told me they'd be there even though I didn't ask them to come as I don't want people who might feel like I do about funerals that they have to show up.

And then of course there's all of YOU who have touched me with your comments. Thank you, friends.

I want to share with you one of my favorite photos of my mother, taken just 2 years ago. She's wearing her favorite turquoise shirt with her turquoise nugget necklace that goes so well with her blue eyes. I love this photo because, somehow, the photographer brought out her kind and gentle spirit.

I feel so uplifted I'm worried I will do a nose dive after the funeral when all that support gradually goes away. Guess I'll cross that bridge when I come to it.

21 Responses to “Buoyed”

  1. Wink Says:

    Beautiful! Such kind eyes and vibrant smile. Remember her just like this.

  2. creditcardfree Says:

    What a beautiful picture! Your emotions will be everywhere. I'm so happy that you have people to support you. My mother is one who goes to nearly every funeral of someone she knew or those parents of friends (who she didn't necessarily know). It's most important to be there for those left behind...for support and comfort in a time of grief. You are going to feel lots of different things at different times and it is okay. ((Hugs))

  3. Dido Says:

    What a lovely photo. I am glad you are finding support.

  4. laura Says:

    So beautiful! Clearly someone who loved life. Such a warm and comfortable aura. So happy you have the picture to treasure along with memories. Again, wishing you peace and comfort.

  5. Deb Says:

    A beautiful picture! Once you come up from the depths of sadness, pictures like this will make you smile and remember happy times and good memories. Hugs.

  6. MonkeyMama Says:

    Beautiful picture! Thanks for sharing.

  7. Jenn Says:

    Your mom was a beautiful woman. Thanks for sharing - it puts a face to the stories you've shared over the years.

  8. Laura S. Says:

    Thank you for sharing. Thinking of you during this time. Hang in there, we are all here for you.

  9. Turtle Lover Says:

    I thank you for sharing your journey and I hope you feel free to continue to do so. My heart goes out to you ((hugs))

  10. Butterscotch Says:

    Lovely...a wonderful way to remember her.

  11. Carol Says:

    Thank you for sharing the picture-- beautiful--and thank you for sharing such sweet thoughts. I hope you will continue to be buoyed up-- we are all on this human journey together.

  12. PNW Mom Says:

    What a beautiful picture! Thanks for sharing

  13. mich Says:

    She is beautiful. So stunning.

  14. Allison Says:

    Your mother is beautiful! I am so sorry for your loss.

  15. Analise Says:

    Thank you for sharing this lovely photo of your mother. Her beautiful spirit shines through her eyes and she looks strong and capable. She left a wonderful legacy in you and in her art. My best to you always.

  16. Ima saver Says:

    She is a beautiful woman and you look a lot like her! I am so sorry for your loss, but she went quickly, thank goodness.

  17. ceejay74 Says:

    Your mother was gorgeous! I just read your last post and got weepy, trying to think of what to say. This post is choking me up to, but was so wonderful to read. Glad you're getting and enjoying lots of support.

  18. NJDebbie Says:

    Your Mom was a beautiful lady. Thank you for sharing the picture with us.((HUGS))

  19. FrugalTexan75 Says:

    Your mom was so beautiful.

  20. LuckyRobin Says:

    You probably will nose dive later, but it is a perfectly normal thing to have happen. Allow yourself to go into it for a couple of days and then emerge from it and ask for the support you need. If not in real life, then here. The folks here will do what they can to boost your spirits. Just ask.

    The color your mother is wearing is one of my favorite colors. I love how it brings out how strikingly blue her eyes are.

  21. CB in the City Says:

    Oh, she was so pretty! Just let others buoy you up for now and don't worry about the future. It will take care of itself. I found I adjusted to the losses in my life more easily than I ever expected I could. Maybe easily isn't the right word -- maybe gracefully? We can surprise ourselves in our resilience. And it is true that you have friends to support you, both here and in your real life.

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