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Feeling depressed and this post is full of complaints

September 27th, 2017 at 11:56 pm

Eh. I don't know why, but I left work today feeling pretty depressed. It was the end of day 3 at the new job and I guess I'm feeling down because I don't really like the job much, I don't like the other job I interviewed for recently and even with this job it's not doing anything to solve my biggest challenge (health insurance).

Proofing all day long is feeling tedious. An endless number of decks and other materials to look at, and they expect everything to be perfect, becus that is, after all, what they hired you to do: proof (as opposed to copywriting).

I also don't like the work environment, which I didn't say anything about before, other than it's an old house that's been renovated into office space, becus I thought maybe my thoughts would change, but I don't think they will.

There are I guess 6 people in 4 rooms upstairs. 4 SMALL rooms. People have very loud conversations in your room when you're trying to concentrate and I found myself going over the same line again and again, til finally I just silently waited til they were thru talking. The guy in my room routinely shouts over to the guys in one of the adjacent rooms. He sits about 5 feet behind me, so when he shouts, I really hear it.

I'm hardly in a position as a newcomer and a contractor at that to say anything about it, but I find it a difficult environment to work in.

It feels claustrophobic to me. If you go in the tiny bathroom, you don't feel like you have complete privacy because everything is so closed in. I mean, what if i had indigestion or something? I would not feel comfortable using that bathroom.

Directly across the street is the train station with a wire fence keeping people from crossing the tracks. The trains run all day long, and when they approach the station, they lean on the horn to warn any pedestrians in the area. Each time they do this I jump! It's very jarring.

There was one woman who I hadn't met who returned to the office today after being out at a conference. She came up to talk at length with the guy in my room, and I was fully expecting she would see me and introduce herself, but that never happened. In fact she was back in the room a few times and never once said oh hey, my name is so and so, you must be PatientSaver. I found that very odd and disconcerting. Like I'm a nobody. I felt offended. I was going to introduce myself but then decided not to bother.

I really dislike the commute, either via back roads, which I take in the morning, or via the highway, which I take at night becus the highway entry ramp is easy to get to and making a left turn on Rt. 1 to do back roads would be a challenge at rush hour. Even on the interstate, mind you, you will go no faster than 30-something miles per hour becus the traffic is so heavy. Connecticut is infamous for this. Drivers are very aggressive but like me, they all can't wait to get home.

When I do get home at night it's close to 7 and pretty dark. So no time to do any of my normal things at home and I feel so squeezed for time. I know, everyone deals with that.

I guess what I'm saying is, I don't like the job and feel so discouraged becus I feel like I've been job hunting for years nearly non-stop. At this point in my life, I would be perfectly happy to take a low-paying job with an easy commute of 20 minutes or less. And health insurance.

The other job I interviewed for nearby did not sound that easy; in fact, it was clearly a stressful job and I have absolutely no enthusiasm for taking that on.

I suppose I may be coming across as lazy or something. I've worked for 35 years and I'm sick of the long commutes and equally long days. Isn't there a happy balance somehow?

I feel stuck and there's no one to help me but me.

Not a happy camper.

19 Responses to “Feeling depressed and this post is full of complaints”

  1. crazyliblady Says:

    Have you ever tried noise cancelling headphones? My office mate has ADD and uses them help her to concentrate better if noise is bothering her.

  2. Butterscotch Says:

    I'm sorry that you're not happy. I bet you will feel better after you get that first paycheck!
    About the office, an older house with character sounds splendid compared to the sterile cubicals with fluorescent lighting that I have been stuck in at many places.

    Try to find the charm in the train! Appreciate that all those people on the train are people you won't have to deal with on your commute Smile
    The other thing is, you mentioned a low paying job with good benefits would be better at this stage of your career. But in previous posts you said you would be embarrassed if anyone saw you working at Costco. I think you need to do some soul searching because you can't put your fear of other people's opinions ahead of your comfort and happiness. That just sets you up for stress.

    I hope the week ends on a good note for you!

  3. Amber Says:

    Aw I'm sorry things aren't working out. I'd try some earphones to try and drown out the background noise. Also, you might want to think about speaking to your manager and explain the background noise and its impact when proofing.

  4. LuckyRobin Says:

    Do you need a job for the money or just for the health insurance? Because places like McDonald's, Panda Express, etc., have health insurance for full time employees. I see a lot of older people working there who have officially retired from their original jobs, but work there just for the health insurance and they enjoy all the people they meet on a daily basis. If they see someone they knew who made a thing about it, they just say "Oh, I got bored with retirement. Had to do something to get out in the world." It's a thought.

  5. LuckyRobin Says:

    Also, I'm sorry you are finding the job so depressing, annoying, and boring. You have been on the job hunt so much for the last several years and it is discouraging to not find something you love that is stable and gives you the health care you need. Hang in there. Sometimes life just really sucks for a long time. I hope it gets better for you fast.

  6. crazyliblady Says:

    I agree with Butterscotch about doing some soul searching. Why are you worried about what other people think of what you do for a job? Do you think they feel embarrassed if you see them at their jobs? Also, are you absolutely married to the idea of a job doing writing, editing? What about an ordinary job doing office work, answering phones, filing? A well organized person could do well at such a job and your writing and editing skills could help, too.

  7. Joe Says:

    Hang in there Patient Saver.

  8. My English Castle Says:

    Really nice Bose noise-cancelling headphones are a wonderful thing. My DH uses them at work coding when it gets too distracting for him. But I do kind of like the idea of a Costco or office job. It's different than if a person were 25 and wanted to start on a career ladder. I have a friend who's the head of telecom at a big company, and because of political changes there, really hates her job. She's 58, loves animals, and is seriously considering taking a job with an organization that trains rescue dogs. It's a big cut in pay, but she mostly needs the insurance and a small salary. She does not need the stress and headache of her current job. Wishing you the best as you face tomorrow. I hope things improve.

  9. Wink Says:

    My best friend's circumstances are very similar to yours. She took a job in a more "upscale" (expensive) grocery store in customer service. Really good benefits, much lower pay then what she was used to, and it's right around the corner from her house. She had a lot of angst about working in a grocery store! She's been there 3 years now and loves it. She is so good at her job that customers come in and ask for her if they have a return or a problem with a transaction. She has made many new friends in her community and was just recently interviewed for an assistant manager position. No shame in her game! I hope things get better for you.

  10. VS_ozgirl Says:

    After working for so many years I'm sure that after a while it just feels like the daily grind. There's no shame in being able to say that maybe something which allows you some flexibility would be more suitable for you at this point of your life. Can you work part-time somewhere and still get health insurance benefits?

  11. Amber Says:

    I'd fail to mention, that I have a masters degree and was so nervous about what people would think if I worked at a location that was not "What they thought I should be doing."

    Long story short, I took that job at Target for $10.00 a hour. Best job, ever. I received a 10% discount on my grocery purchases plus 5% off when I used my debit card. They worked around my schedule, people were nice. I ended up leaving because I found a full time job paying 3x that. I say that to say, we do what can until we can do better.

  12. Carol Says:

    You have been so resourceful, that I think you will figure this out. It sure is hard though. We all are rooting for you!

  13. Debt-free by Thir-ty Says:

    I'm sorry you're struggling, PatientSaver. Many people offered some good suggestions, so I'll toss in one more. I don't recall if it was this job, but you mentioned asking about telecommuting. Maybe you can schedule a check-in with your boss, explain some of the issues you're having and request a trial period where you work from home a day or two a week. That'd alleviate some of the stress of the work environment/commute and would allow you to showcase your best work in the hopes of moving to a permanent position within the company.

  14. CB in the City Says:

    I do hear you on all points. It sounds like this job won't be a long-term solution for you, but it's too soon to cut the cord. Give it a little time, keep investigating other possibilities, and wait it out till something better comes along. If you don't love the job, love what it will do for you ... in this case adding to your retirement goal.

    I don't agree that part-time work in the retail/fast food sector is a good idea. Those jobs are just as draining as anything else (maybe more!), and you would be a novice. Management in those areas tends to be immature and dictatorial. You would be on your feet all day long, which is difficult when you're not young. And I don't blame you for feeling it would be embarrassing. I would feel embarrassed, too! Granted, if you can find a special situation where the environment is supportive and there is health insurance, go for it! But I think it's pretty iffy that you would find satisfaction in that realm. I say this from experience. I took a job as a breakfast hostess once at a big hotel chain. It was not a good experience, and I was very happy to find a permanent job in my own field after a few months.

  15. Pnwmom Says:

    Perhaps some of the feelings you have are because you are the new person...it's always hard to feel comfortable until you get to know your coworkers and feel like you "fit in".... They all know each other and have a routine and you don't yet...hoping things get better for you soon.

  16. LivingAlmostLarge Says:

    good luck. I think you should look for a job that might not pay as well with health insurance. Costco? Wegmans? Look for something that is rated good to look for. I've found I enjoy doing taxes. It's not what I went to school for and pays a lot less. BUT i am working everyday and I have a schedule most mom's dream of 10am - 2 pm. It doesn't get better than that. I also come in late and leave early. I open the office and answer phones and do returns. I follow up emails and phone calls. So I could care what others think "LAL isn't making the $$$ she should. She should do what she went to school for."

    DH and I learned that we need to do what makes us happy at the end of the day. NO one else is paying our bills and running our circus. If doing this job makes our family work better than it's awesome. Yes I could get a job with a prestigious "title". But seriously do I want that? (sometimes I admit I yearn for it like today). But reality sets in and I realize I get time with the kids, I don't bring work home, and I have flexibility. Sometimes you have to decide what's important. Everyone else can just be jealous of your awesome life.

  17. FrugalTexan75 Says:

    Is there any way for you to do this job remotely?

    Or, like others have suggested, noise canceling headphones?

    I hope you're able to figure out a solution which works well for you soon. {{hugs}}

  18. rob62521 Says:

    I"m sorry things seem to bleak. Maybe once you get into the groove, things will improve a bit. I know it is frustrating after looking for a job to find one you don't find satisfactory, but sometimes it is easier to find a job when you have a job. Hang in there!

  19. Tabs Says:

    I don't have any answers, but I know the feeling. I often times feel very much the same way in parts of my life. I hope you will find that happy balance somewhere soon.

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