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Baby steps forward

February 15th, 2016 at 03:47 pm

This weekend I feel like I made some (very) incremental steps toward, well, just moving forward.

Saturday morning was the bereavement support group. I was surprised to see about 15 people there, though 4 of them were moderators. Everyone was super nice. Some of the people didn't say anything at all, but I was able to see that most of the people there had lost a spouse. I can also see that kind of loss would be much harder to get over. The man sitting next to me had lost his wife to ovarian cancer just 2 months ago, and this was just his 2nd meeting. I really felt for him. The woman on my other side had lost her husband. I got a workbook and a little homework assignment. I joined the group about mid-way through their normal 9-month cycle but I can stay as long as I like. Too bad it only meets monthly.

Saturday I also dropped off a small (about 4 x 6') oriental rug for repair at a rug place. The guy had an interesting set-up in a separate building behind his house, with these giant pulleys from which hung several large rugs. Anyway, he seemed to know what he was doing. All told, putting on new fringe and making some other repairs to fraying threads on the ends, along with the cleaning, which with cat barf, etc it could sorely use, is going to cost me $175! With that money I could easily buy a brand new rug but this one has sentimental value.

My mother bought it many years ago on a trip to Morocco. I basically grew up with this rug, and I like its compact size. Anyway, I was a little surprised when the rug guy immediately told me the rug was not Moroccan, it was Pakistani, and he even told me the name of the style the pattern was.

Well, I do hope the new fringe looks ok. They don't actually remove the old fringe, they just sew the new fringe on top. The color is pretty close, basically an ivory, although his will look newer.

Anyway, I am happy to spend the $$ on something near to my heart. It's something I'd wanted to do for a while now, along with a hundred other things, so soon I'll be able to check this one off my list.

I find that as I get older, I have a greater interest in preserving what I have than buying ever more new stuff.

The only thing that annoyed me about this guy was that when I was ready to leave, I wanted some sort of receipt showing I dropped something off. We'd had a nice chat but still, I don't know him at all, and initially, probably due to laziness, he didn't want to. Not very professional...

On Sunday afternoon I went to a fun presentation in town on rabbits...how to raise them, good for those thinking of adopting one. It was put on by a rabbit rescue group. Who knew such a group existed? I kept thinking of Lucky Robin but I don't think she would be welcome in this group.

It was mostly parents with little kids who went. I personally have a big interest in all things natural history, so I love this sort of thing. Right after this program there was another one on woodpeckers sponsored by the Audubon Society, but I decided to go home.

Later on Sunday a man stopped by my house. His wife sat in the car in the driveway while he came in to collect a great photograph of his dog my mother had taken years ago. He was a neighbor in the same condo complex. It was a very nice framed photo, about 12 x 12". I vaguely remembered my mother telling me about a dog painting a neighbor in the complex had asked her to do but later when it was done, he told he he couldn't afford to pay for it. I never found any painted dachshund portrait, so this will forever be a mystery. I am sure my mother would have been very disappointed to have spent all that work and time doing the piece only to have the guy say he couldn't pay for it. However, I don't think it would be like her to destroy her own work. Especially since I did find the dachshund photograph, which had always hung in her stairwell.

I was a little bothered that this man asked my mother's other neighbors, the couple who regularly visited my mother for months, to ask me for the photo/painting, and the husband of that couple approached me during my mother's calling hours on behalf of the other neighbor. I think he should have asked me himself, and maybe my mother's funeral was not the best time. But whatever, not everyone enjoys going to a funeral (least of all me). I wish that at the time my mother told me about this years ago that I had paid better attention, because I might have clearer guidance now on how to deal with this situation. In the end, though, I feel the photo should go to the owner of the dog. The dog had died just a few days after my mother. It had been a therapy dog and the man was very close to it. He actually choked up at my house when I asked him about it.

Today I met a meet-up group of women walkers at the mall and about 8 of us did a fairly brisk walk around the entire mall to get a good hour of exercise in. Afterwards, I spent some time at Sears and William Sonoma to try to use up some gift cards I have; i did use up the Sears one but still have a balance of about $2 on the other one, and I could find nothing affordably priced at W-S that I actually needed.

I had hoped to see The Martian at the $2 movie theater this afternoon, but by 1 pm it started snowing and I'd rather not be out in snow.

I also made up my mind to call the women's center in the city where my mother lived and see if I can inquire about donating some of my mother's art. My mother and I had talked about this in general terms. Nothing specific, but she expressed an interest in having me donate some of her art to various public places where people could still enjoy her art after she was gone. A library, for instance.

You might think that trying to figure out where to donate would be a huge task. At least that's how it sort of felt to me. Unbelievably, out of all the paperwork I tossed and sorted in an extremely rapid manner last May/June (with 12 file cabinet drawers, I feared I would never get through it all), I came across an envelope from this women's center. On the envelope was a small sticky note upon which my mother had written: Donate art?

I mean, how much clearer a sign do I need? So I plan to call them, maybe tomorrow. I tentatively decided on two framed pieces that seemed suitable for them since it's a women's center (for battered women and so on) and these 2 pieces are figures of women done in my mother's own unique style. I have more of these women figures (each one is different) but they are matted, not framed.

Right now I've got a split pea soup cooking on the stove; supper will be ready by around 8:30 pm when I plan to watch the Grammys.

6 Responses to “Baby steps forward”

  1. Carol Says:

    Great baby steps. I love the donation idea.

  2. creditcardfree Says:

    Yes, it does seem you are moving forward, at just the right pace for you I'm sure!

  3. alice4now Says:

    You always have such productive days! What a special sign you found about the donation site!

  4. Jenn Says:

    Your comment about lucky robin made me giggle!

  5. FrugalTexan75 Says:

    I think that is so neat about the note on the envelope wondering about donating her art.

    The father's day after my dad died, I went out into the yard and started weeding his garden. A little while later his dear friend of many years came with his daughter and they both helped me with the weeding. When it was all done, it made me feel a little bit closer to my dad. I knew it was something he would've mightily approved of.

  6. PatientSaver Says:

    FrugalTexan, that's a sweet story. Finding ways to honor loved ones we've lost, doing things we know they would have liked, is very comforting.

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