A cedar tree near the driveway that was once just a few feet tall.
Housekeeping is not my forte. There, I've said it. With two profusely shedding cats and my mother's stuff propped up all over the place, it's hard to keep the place clean.
I did manage to do my once-every-two-weeks vacuuming. Today. I'm not sure what came over me. I had the energy to go further, so I got down on my knees and cleaned the kitchen floor with just a sponge. I'd gotten tired of all the dusty cat hairs that seem to collect underneath the cabinets. I wiped everything down and then decided to rotate my small kitchen island on casters to create more room. I even pulled out the refrigerator and cleaned up all the dust behind it, don't ask me why.
I have to admit the kitchen floor looks so much better. Not sure how much of it is psychological, and only because I know I scrubbed every square inch, but I do really think it looks cleaner.
Now another completely different kind of confession: Since my mother passed, I've lost interest in my work. I feel distracted. My heart just isn't in it anymore. I've also been feeling a sense that I need to make some big changes in my life, to do the things I want to do, that life is too short to waste doing anything less.
Part of it is due to the loss of my mom but part of it is also due to the recent restructuring of my job where I now report to someone new and work with a team that is located in Massachusetts. This was supposed to be a pretty small add-on to my existing work, since my current responsibilities, customer communications, haven't gone away, but between the meetings and the work that follows, it seems like it's taking up half my time. So now a job that I enjoyed is not so much fun.
I'm not especially liking it. I did revisit my financial status with the thought of leaving. While I'm doing very well by probably most people's standards, it really would be premature and probably a mistake to leave such a well-paying job just a few years earlier than planned. Three-and-a-half more years, I keep telling myself...three-and-a-half more years.
I went so far as to peruse other internal openings at the bank but of the 4 writing jobs posted, I either didn't qualify or wasn't interested. I probably won't do much more than that, but I do feel that old familiar feeling of being disenchanted with work, disinterested and disgruntled. Nothing new, but oh well.
The one fortunate thing is that the physical distance between me and the rest of my "team" helps to camouflage my dissatisfaction since they don't/won't often see me.
I'm glad the weekend is here and that the four-inch snowfall gave me a reason to stay home today.
This is the view at the foot of my driveway after I made one pass with the shovel.
The driveway is mostly shoveled so I can maybe pay a visit to the local healthy pet food place where some animals will be up for adoption. Not at all looking to adopt, but I would love to look.
I want to at least start doing my tax returns this weekend. Ugh, but it would be great to have it out of the way.
February 5th, 2016 at 04:37 pm