. Today we buried my mother.
It was a long day. Friends of mine, friends of my sister's and friends and neighbors of my mother's showed up to pay their respects. I spoke to every one of them. My friend Ron gave a little eulogy and I was so surprised when he started tearing up, for he was remembering his own father who died about a year ago. My old flame R. also came by, which meant a lot to me. He lost his mother to Alzheimer's earlier in the year. We had that in common, plus his father was a pretty well respected artist, a painter of horses, and so, like me, he had a lot of art to dispose of.
My good neighbor, L. who lives behind me, also came by; her husband has pneumonia and so couldn't make it. I introduced everyone to my dad and sister, and I was gratified to introduce a lot of people to my dad who have been such an important part of my life. There were a chunk of years when I didn't see much of my dad, after he remarried and began raising a second family.
We got a dinner invitation from my mother's neighbors (me, my dad and sister) from the neighbors of my mothers who have faithfully visited my mother from the beginning of her journey with Alzheimer's right through to the end.
And my friend Ron said he would like to spend some time with my dad and me, just the way he liked to spend time with my mother, and before her, years ago, with my grandmother. Ron and I would surely be divorced if we had married, but one of his sterling qualities is that he recognizes the importance of family.
Everything went pretty much seamlessly. My sister, her significant other and my dad were the first to arrive (I got there early to set up the art and bulletin boards). I broke the ice and gave my sister a hug but there is no love there. Then I hugged Sandy, thanked him for coming and then broke down in my dad's arms. It was hard to hold back the tears from then on, but somehow we got through it.
My sister arrived wearing a plaid flannel shirt and work pants. She looked like she was ready to go work in the fields. She and her SO sat behind me and almost immediately began what I would describe as shop talk. Just an everyday conversation that had nothing to do with my mom. It's like she felt nothing at all while it was all I could do to rein in the tears. It was so disrespectful I nearly said something. I really just don't understand her at all, nor do I want to. After I give her the money, I want nothing to do with her...ever.
The pastor led us through a service and then we all went to the cemetery. Afterwards, I paid the bill for the funeral, packed up the art I had arranged on the easels there and my friend Ron and I went to a nearby restaurant, my favorite in town, that is closing in a week.
My friendship with Ron has been tested any number of times, but still, when the going gets tough, he's there by my side.
I was just so gratified that so many people came out to share their memories of my mother or tell me how they met or simply to give me a hug.
And that is why I haven't taken a photo for my 3rd day of gratitude. Instead, I've included a photo of something that says compassion to me... compassion and kindness from others who know you need a helping hand (or paw) through the tough times in life. And that is what I'm thankful for today.
Day 3, 365 Days of Gratitude
January 3rd, 2016 at 11:39 pm
January 4th, 2016 at 12:37 am 1451867825
January 4th, 2016 at 01:40 am 1451871602
January 4th, 2016 at 02:15 am 1451873754
January 4th, 2016 at 03:30 am 1451878227
January 4th, 2016 at 03:35 am 1451878523
January 4th, 2016 at 04:14 am 1451880841
January 4th, 2016 at 12:17 pm 1451909878
January 4th, 2016 at 01:51 pm 1451915511
January 4th, 2016 at 05:04 pm 1451927047
Hopefully, you won't have to deal with her again.
Hugs to you, we are all thinking about you.
January 5th, 2016 at 03:02 am 1451962967
January 7th, 2016 at 05:38 pm 1452188293