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Good neighbors are the best

September 19th, 2015 at 05:26 pm

I wrote that title intending to talk about my mother's neighbors, but really, I have met so many kind and caring people since my mother's challenges began last spring.

This morning I ran out to get to my mother's bank before it closed, and spent quite a lot of time there as the woman retitled mom's checking account the way Social Security Administration wants.

Then I ran to her condo where they were handing out the parking permits at the clubhouse so i could explain why I hadn't picked up the permit....the car has been sold and the place is under contract. The women there knew my mother and were very nice about it.

Then on to her condo to take down some wall shelving that the buyer doesn't want. I also dismantled some shades that my mother had made herself, including the bracket systems.

On the way home I stopped at Maplewood to pay the October bill, and I had to leave a note for the accounting manager because once again, the bill was wrong. They were billing me for the phone, which I had confirmed with the director would be removed since my mother had trouble with it anyway, and they also failed to provide a receipt for an outing to Friendly's, which we agreed a month ago they would do; otherwise, I have no way of documenting whether she did go on various outings or not.

When I came home I was so tired and I lay down for a while, then made myself get up so I could get over to see her before it got too late. I arrived just in time to see my mother's condo neighbors there visiting with her.

They are such good people and visited her regularly at Maplewood and now at Masonicare. Both college professors in their 60s (he retired, her not) they treat her as if she were their own mother.

I don't feel I've adequately conveyed my appreciation but I happen to think they're wonderful. Maybe partly because they help fill in the void created by the absence of my sister. They lived 2 doors down from my mother and I've seen them often this summer as I'm at the condo nearly every weekend doing something.

Even the woman at the bank who was helping me get the account straight was very understanding, and as often happens, she told her own story of what happened with her mother. When I left, she took my hand in both of hers, and wished me well.

It's been so warm here I thought my mother would enjoy a trip down to the pond on the property of Masonicare. I wheeled her down there in her wheelchair. She can stand with assistance, but certainly not walking yet.

As soon as we got down there, she said she had to go to the bathroom, so we made a very quick loop around the small pond and came back up. I had hoped we could sit and relax down there as she does love looking at nature.

I sat with her while she ate her dinner; apparently it was the first time in the community dining room. She's been there a week now and I didn't like the idea of her having to eat alone, which they had done at least a few times because, when the pain started bothering her she would start tearing off her clothes. Pain + dementia = not good.

But tonight she was doing well and definitely enjoyed talking with other residents there; I'm not sure any of them are dementia patients, and that's why I chose this room over another room, because these are all rehab people, not dementia people. Some, sadly, are there for the long term.

We met a woman, probably in her 60s, who was definitely all there mentally but in a wheelchair. She told me she'd had a stroke and could not walk, and she lifted her arm to show me her hand, all curled up. She said she was there "long term." I felt very sad for her. She looked like someone you might see at the garden club. I guess she was widowed or divorced, and her family was unable to care for her, so this is where she ended up. But she wasn't depressed, and I appreciated her conversing with my mother, as did another rather outspoken woman who also seemed to be a long-timer.

I am just so grateful for the many kind, caring, understanding and compassionate people out there. It's possible I've never really experienced thta before because I've never really faced this kind of crisis. I will talk about it to anyone around. It was definitely a crisis when I've had issues with the MS in the past, but the MS was something I mostly tried to hide from others, partly because I didn't want it to jeopardize my job, and so I lost out on a lot of support I could have gotten from others had I shared it more than I did. It's so much easier to bear when others are there for you.

4 Responses to “Good neighbors are the best”

  1. starfishy Says:

    glad that you are feeling supported by various people throughout this process with your mother. every little kindness and understanding definitely helps and how wonderful that her former neighbors visit her. Smile

  2. alice4now Says:

    Thanks for the reminder of the goodness that is out there, and how just being yourself and caring about others goes a long way!

  3. CB in the City Says:

    It's so true that good people seem to emerge from the woodwork in a crisis! I'm glad they are there for you, and her.

  4. FrugalTexan75 Says:

    I'm glad you have some support systems (people) there for you and your mom.

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