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No more unwanted phone calls

April 16th, 2014 at 03:57 pm

For some reason, today after work, something compelled me to do a Google search of that old boyfriend from years ago that I've blogged about, the one who kept calling me at Christmas or my birthday, for years, even when I asked him to stop.

We dated when I was in my 20s, and he was 30-something, when we both lived on Cape Cod. He was a carpenter. We had a lot of fun doing things like camping and canoeing. He let me drive his MG convertible around town a lot. I still have his recipe for chicken soup, as well as a simple jewelry box he made me with his own hands. But we had a bad break-up; he hurt me in a parking lot when I tried to break up with him, someone at the restaurant called the police, a chase ensued and they filed charges against him for assault (against a cop) with a deadly weapon (his vehicle). I'm not sure whatever happened with those charges, but they may have been dropped.

Fast forward to his phone calls some 20 years later. Somehow he got a hold of my phone number. Maybe not too difficult since I'm not unlisted. I thought the calls were intrusive and I told him I didn't have an interest in renewing anything. He seemed to have forgotten about our bad break-up and kept calling, even after I told him I was engaged and/or married.

The last time he called me was probably a year ago. He told me he had emphysema and that the doctor had told him he had a year to live. I wasn't sure whether or not to believe him and wondered if this was just a ploy to get me to talk to him. But he had been a lifetime smoker.

So I googled his name tonight; i have no idea why. The very first thing that popped up in the search results was his obituary.

http://www.eagletribune.com/obituaries/x1767996312/Michael-Joseph-Nartiff

He died this past January. For some reason, the family chose to use a photo of him from when he served in the Army in the Vietnam War. I honestly would never have recognized him if it didn't accompany his obituary. When I met him, he had longish curly hair, a mustache and very long sideburns, which were the style back in the 80s. In the Army, of course, he had a crewcut, but I did recognize that smile and his teeth.

I have to say I feel very sad, as well as guilty that I didn't have a few more kind words for him. I had hardened my heart against him and now I feel very sad for him.

4 Responses to “No more unwanted phone calls”

  1. Petunia 100 Says:

    It is unfortunate that he died an early death, but you did not owe him any kind words. You have no reason to feel guilty. Sorry for your loss. Frown

  2. wisewoman Says:

    He was probably trying to make peace before he passed. You have fond memories. Keep those and disregard the bad. Life is fleeting. No regrets. My condolences...

  3. ceejay74 Says:

    I'm sorry you feel bad. You wouldn't have wanted to encourage him or lead him on with his past of hurting you and his clearly obssessive nature in insisting on calling. That doesn't change because he passed, although it is sad. I'm glad you thought of your safety first.

  4. CB in the City Says:

    Sometimes I think it is the ambivalent feelings that are hardest to deal with...

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