It was a very trying time this morning as I drove in to get the tube thing stuck up my nose to measure the pH level in my esophagus.

It was a nurse, not the doctor, who inserted it. I was feeling very anxious, and told her so, and she explained how it all would go. However, it was extremely uncomfortable when she inserted it. It's supposed to be carefully positioned so the end of it hangs just slightly above your throat, so that you can talk, swallow and eat normally. Well, she announced it was in place and that she was now going to tape the tube to my face (the other end is attached to a small computer on a belt) and i told her NO cus it was like RIGHT in my throat and every time I swallowed, I felt it big time. No way could i deal with that for 24 hours, let alone eat.

She jiggled it around so more, which was the worst, made some adjustments, and then looked inside my mouth to see its location. It was bad enough I started to cry a little.

However, once it was in place, it wasn't so bad, and I drove myself home, trying not to turn my head too much becus it would tug a little on the tube.

I'm feeling better about it now, but will sure be glad to get this thing out tomorrow morning. I have to keep a diary and record "events" such as what and when I eat, when I cough and when I sleep. At the same time, I have to push certain buttons on the computer to record those events.

It's constantly monitoring my pH levels. Normal ph is about 7, and my ph has varied only from about 6.9 to 7.3, so I see nothing wrong with it thus far.

I sure hope this test is not for nothing! As it's going to cost me and I sure don't enjoy it. I really hope it's not inconclusive and they try to get me to do various other tests. I'm really worried about much this is going to cost. I'd like the doctor to work with me in modifying my diet and habits (like not eating 3 hours before bedtime) before the knee-jerk reaction to go to meds, which as I understand, don't really fix any damage done to your throat by stomach acids anyway.

Yesterday R. and I took a drive (with his dog) up to Madison, the town where I wanted to check out some detached condos. There were 2 open houses at this one complex. All the way up there (about an hour's drive) Ron is telling me all the reasons I shouldn't move there, which was frankly annoying. Well, he's always been that way; not one to withhold his personal opinion.

So I was quite pleased when we arrived and he had to admit it was a very nice and unusual community where the condos were really very nicely spaced away from each other with a fair amount of privacy and space and everything was very nicely landscaped.

The first one we looked at felt more like a home with a small, private yard (with an open meadow out back), 2 stories, about 1590 square feet. Very private little patio. However, the kitchen and baths were somewhat dated and I knew if I bought it I'd have to update the appliances and counters at least. $279,900 and common charges $330. Town water and shared septic. Built in 1977. It also had 3 baths, which i certainly don't need. One downstairs, and then one for each of the 2 bedrooms.

The second open house was at a smaller ranch unit, about 1290 sf and a smaller kitchen, more galley-like, but more updated and attractive. Its sales price was quite a bit less, i guess mainly becus of the smaller overall square footage, at about $249,500. This one had a nice 3-season sun room, very private. The only thing I didn't like about it (aside from the slab, not full basement which means it won't hold the heat as well) is that the entrance to another unit was nearby and perpendicular to it, making it fell vaguely like an apartment complex, while the first unit felt more like a row house.

Both units have electric heat and central air. the taxes at both units would be about $1,000 less than what I'm paying now with my house. I won't be buying either unit as my house is not ready to put on market, but i wanted to look and just see if seeing them in person would allow me to rule them out as real possibilities, or not. I have not ruled them out.

The complex is just about a mile from Hammonnasset State Park, which is right on Long Island Sound, so while we were there we checked out this rather large park. It was a nice day, so there were quite a lot of people there with dogs or jogging or just driving around like we were. They have trails, boardwalks, fishing piers, a huge nature center, sandy beaches. Lots to do. You can buy a season's pass. I could see myself taking walks there, or bicycling, 2 or 3 times a week if it was so close.

The town itself is also quite nice, old New England homes and nice shops, small downtown. Even the neighborhood where the condo complex is is also very nice, lots of old homes.

One other drawback is that if i ever needed to travel west, say to Fairfield County where I live now, you really only have way to go, and that's Interstate 95. Not a fun road to travel if you can avoid it. There's also Rt. 1, but that's just a 2 lane road with lots of stops and lights and traffic along the way.

I don't really feel that if i moved, I'd have a lot of reasons to drive back toward this way. Right now, both my parents are still alive, and that's a big reason why I might delay any move further away, for now. But aside from my parents, i have a few friends in town, and they are all moving out of state this year or next. Ron is to the east and maybe a move would put me a little further out from him, about 45 minutes, but I'm about 40 minutes away from him right now, so not much difference.

Part of me would like to move now. I wonder, too, though, whether moving when I don't have steady work would worsen things for me in that location as opposed to here. The way I see it, I've been looking for f/t work for 3.5 years. I can't see it being that much worse there if I haven't gotten a steady job here in all that time.

Moving out there would feel like starting over from scratch in a way, since I'd be leaving everything that's familiar to me here in western Connecticut. I've done that kind of thing before, but I was much younger, in my 20s, when I moved by myself to Cape cod, and then to Vermont.

It would be very important to reach out and join different groups in town to get to know people, or i could be very lonely. It's not the kind of thing that comes naturally to me but I'd need to make the effort.