We have about 4 inches on the ground and it seems like it's winding down. I see a snow shovel in my future.

Just wanted to say thanks again for the incredibly kind and encouraging words from all of you on my latest job-related disappointment.

It was odd that she never got back to me on Friday after I answered her email that yes, I was still interested in the scaled back (p/t) job and when next week would you like to meet?

This a.m., I saw that they had posted the job on CareerBuilder. I guess that means I'm not a shoo-in and that they will be going through the whole candidate selection process once again.

I toyed with the idea of reapplying on the job board just to reaffirm my interest, but heck, she knows I'm interested. It kind of would feel like groveling. Instead, I applied today for an editor job doing puzzles for a small publisher about 50 minutes away. This job is full-time and offers benefits, so though I sense it also would be low-paying, I applied due to the medical coverage and normal benefits.

As soon as I pay off the mortgage, money will be less important than medical coverage. Of course, I still want to make as much as I can because I will reach my financial goals more quickly, but in terms of getting by, I can do so with a very low salary IF they offer standard benefits.

I've been having these anxiety dreams, usually in the form of me driving in a car and losing control. Either I can't seem to find the brake pedal or, more often, the car is careening backwards off a cliff or rolling down a hill, and I know that in a few split seconds, the car will hit a tree or something and I'm scared out of my mind. Or sometimes, I dream that I've witnessed a crime or have another urgent need to call 911 but the phone won't connect the call or I wait and there's no connection or I get an interminable busy signal and I keep running to look for other phones to try or to spot a police officer and time is running out.

Last night I made a pretty good frittata with sun-dried tomatoes, goat cheese, caramelized onions, fresh basil and I think it was about 5 eggs. It would have been even better with bacon or ham, but I've given up processed meats for health reasons. Asparagus might also be a nice addition. It was super easy to make and even fit in my toaster oven.

I am still feeling very negative about employers in general. I think what happened is the publisher didn't realize that by asking me if I'd be interested in a full-time job, it really, really got my hopes up. And then it was just sloppy of them to have done so, becus it then turned into a p-t job. I suppose they could care less how it might personally affect a job-seeker, and she probably doesn't realize how much I WANT and NEED a f/t job, but still. Get your act together first before putting out feelings to possible job candidates.

I'm trying not to dwell on it but it may take another day or two. I guess it hurt a little more becus I've already worked with these people and would hope they'd be a little more ... human about it. It's like dangling a carrot in front of a starving person and then saying, hmm, well, I don't know, how about a half a carrot? But you know what? Maybe I won't give you any carrot at all, I really have to think about it.